We are the reason

Early in the morning, I love listening to the splattering sound of the rain. Even though I don't like the idea that i am being grounded at home due to the heavy rain. I don't want to get myself all-wet and yet, at the same time, I feel like running and playing under the rain. 

Today is a special day because it is Good Friday. I have a lot to say earlier on but when it comes to it, my mind goes blank. I don't know how to describe. If it weren't because of You, I won't be able to to know the reason why I am living. As long as I live, I'll lift my voice to the one who will seek me, I'll sing.. 

Sometimes I don't understand, what exactly have I done to deserve Your love and sacrifices for me? I failed you all the times and I am always saying nasty things to You, especially when things don't go my way. Yet, You refused to give up on me. Many times I wonder what would my life be if You hadn't been so persistent and insisted that I should be serving in your kingdom. Why must you be so stubborn? Just leave me alone.... Maybe I won't feel so guilty. You asked me not to grieve my soul and right at this moment, I am grieving it for some stupid matters.

I am sorry Father. I can't say I am able to change completely because I am still a weakling. I can only assure You that I will do my best just like 2 Timothy 2 :15 :)

Thank you for dying for me on that cross. Thank You for saving my life...