Hey guys..i am back....getting lazier and lazier to update. afterall...who will care about whether i did update or not? once upon a time, only Baobei, my so-called good friend, star aka yong sin, my invisible reader, Vonny, and my buddy, Sufee will. But now.....Sufee has withdraw himself from the world of internet. And the other 3 loyal readers have to compete against their SPM. So who will care about it? haha...so once again...my bloggie will be left alone for quite sometimes. but i will wait for you guys to be back again once more...
After staying here for quite a period, i found out that, i still hasn't adapt much to the life here. Oh fiddlestick! i admit i have already adapt to the life here...whether i am busy with schoolwork, assignments or even those lousy, unnecessary problems as well as friendship and personal problems. despite all of these, i have actually getting used to the life here. still....in conclusion...it can't be deny that this place DOESN'T suits me at all. i really don't like this place for it is like sucking all my happiness away. i misses JB like shit......!Li Xuan has written at her personal message that "JB people misses their home easily". I totally agree with this sentence.
But have you ever wonder why do we misses our home? the answer is easy...that's because we don't like this place...and that we can hardly find happiness here. In this monstrous place, all we can do is just to study, browse through the net reading blogs to blogs, wasting time and as well as sleeping. If we seriously enjoyed ourselves in the first place, we wouldn't have misses our home damn much!!friends?i have plenty. it is just a real, heart-bonded friend is extremely hard to find. I can never get someone whom i can pour out my real feeling to.aiks....forget about those reasons and explanations...overall..i still wanna say...i have no fate with this place and therefore i can never be happy here.
Words can bring millions of meanings. And your words meant a lot to me!Everything you say, i assumed it is all true. And every promises you made, i assumed you will fulfill it. But now...you are twisting your words. And i am not afraid to say...it hurts!!i feel as if i can never smile again...........!but again...sorry...it is not your fault!perhaps it is mine....!You turned me into who i am today. You turned me into someone who always want to rely on others.You turned me into such a crazy person who gets worry unnecessary. You turned me into a person who can hardly rest my brain. You turned me into a person who is willing to give all my laughters and happiness away. You turned me into such a weakling.Have you ever wonder where does all these great imagination comes from? and why do i have such ridiculous thinking? it all comes from YOU.........but i doubt you will understand all these...for you can't even answer such a simple question from me...!tell me...in this monstrous place, who i can rely on?Do you really know what i want? Have you actually care about what i want from the bottom of my heart?
This lyrics kept on ringing on my mind....and i can't help humming the tunes and starts singing along with it. the song sang by Westlife..."If your heart's not in it for real, please don't try to fake what you don't feel. If love's already gone...its not fair to lead me on. Cause i would give the whole world for you.......Everything you ask of me, i do. But i won't ask you to stay, i rather walk away....If your heart's not in it................." Deeper and deeper i sank....all those strugglings and yearnings are making me to lose my control....!when can i ever find the way out? To the "You" out there, i doubt you will read this blog.......although i have promises to respect your decision, to return you all your freedom, would not suspect you, but still...i wanna say "I miss you"...............
I have been wearing a mask eversince the first day i come here. all i want is just to be myself. but why does it seem so hard? I can't seem to please anyone here.....everyone was like having their own styles and personalities. You can never satisfy any of them. I just wanna be myself.......
Baobei and Vonny....i misses you guys!i can only be my real, true self whenever i am with you guys. For in this world, excluding my closest kins, you guys are the only one who can accept the real me. And i am afraid of losing the spirit of "The Pistachio's"!and also my SHE's members....girls...i missed you....!whenever i am hopeless, you are the one that always pop out of my mind..........
Do not fret.....above are just something which popped out of my mind...which i feel i should jot it down since i was in a writing mood and that i have no one whom i could share my story to. Phone bill is much too expensive...so i can't call Baobei they all.........!but anyway....bloggie is ending soon..so everything will be alright. There will always be a better tomorrow for me..........wish me lucks!ciaozzz...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
vexed?boring?wasting time?...old memories?
ishhh.....i always wanted weekends to come soon...but when it comes,i hate it.for it was like a waste of time. i was doing nothing for one whole day due to this hateful and sickening headache of mine. i don't know why. i did slept early last night. and woke up around 8.30am. yet...i can feel my head spinning. i thought i could recover in a short while..but who knows, it lasted for one whole day. and so...i have got no mood to study at all. and the most hateful thing is that i can't even fall alseep. This stupid headache won't leave me alone.Dar dar is sick too. I hope he rest well and gets enough sleep. But i am sure he won't for he will gets himself all stressed up for the coming presentations.
My baobei and vonny were sick too. Baobei was kept under observant for there is possibility for her to get dengue. i hope she will recover soon.and vonny too. for their SPM is coming real soon. what a funny thing!!both three of us gets sick at the same time. Who are we? "THE PISTACHIO'S" of course.
aiks.....so what can i do? my roommate, Huay Kee's went out early in the morning.i thought my housemates they all will boom the house early in the morning but surprisingly, they were not at home. this is the quietest weekend i ever had since i come here.to have the whole house to my own is such a rare opportunity. you might have think that i can do lots of things....but sadly...i can't even study. all i can do is just listen to songs, surfing the net and sleep.T.T...it is really a waste of time. but i can sort out my thinkings. recalling back my long long ago memories. flipping through those stories that i have written, it really brings back lots of feelings. no matter it is bitter or sweet, it is all past tense.
my most treasured memories is of course the memories of LEO. the phrase "i am who i am" is true. but what makes me become who i am today is all due to leo. a few years back, before i enter the world of leo, i was so NOT outstanding. always hide myself in the house, don't even want to follow my parents, don't even want to step out anywhere. my life is as boring as anything years before. my daily routines were school, back home, then stay in the house. everyday is the same for me. until the day when i entered the world of LEO(year 2005). and eversince i stepped into it, my life began to change.what is the meaning of LEO? Leadership, Experience and Opportunity. I simply loved leo. it blossomed my life tremendously. i am a most active members among my batch.I joined in all sorts of activities. from the orphanage, to old folks home, from dedication to leo installations, and even multiple district leo forum. i attended YES camps and always request permissions to go out. there was once, when i arrived home 2am in the morning. my mummy was damn worried and even threatened me to quit leo. but i object. sadly, leo affected my PMR results. which i feel i could easily score well if i weren't too active. But the post makes me lose my desire to study. and i want is just to carry out my duty well just like the phrase stated " With Love, We Serve". i can never ever forget this phrase. and also "Leading to Serve, Serving to Lead". As my post gets higher each time, it makes me learned more and more new things and to gain many priceless memories which you guys can never ever taste it unless you are a leo. Leo makes me gained friendship too. if it isn't for leo, i wouldn't have the chance to know Baobei and Vonny well. we created many silly jokes and encountered many shameful events. but who cares? we are who we are.If it weren't because of Leo, i wouldn't even have the courage to approach any strangers. If it weren't because of Leo, i wouldn't know the real meaning of love. If it weren't because of Leo, i wouln't realized how fortunate i was compare to the others. If it weren't because of Leo, i wouldn't have the chance to create happiness and to see the smile of others. I realized how stupid i was to work so hard last time just to gain those Alpha Top Awards. I realized that Award is not important as long as we served with sincere heart. It is the process and results that is meaningful and priceless to me.So long, i still wanna say "Thank you Leo club..!i am glad to be able to serve for leo. you makes me into what i am today. i am FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT!!" Once a leo, forever a leo...........together we achieve more...
memories ended. NOW, back to real life....it is more or less the same...except that my headache is slightly better. sweet memories really can heal something.i might even have the mood to revise later. fiddlestick!i know i won't study until the last minute. haha.....the due dates for presentations and assignments is coming soon. although hateful, but i am not panic and tense up. for i believe.....this is LIFE. every events is an add on to our life. if not..how can our life be colourful? thanks to all those memories..i start to know....nothing remains perfect. so long as we are able to think positively, i believe it is the best solution for us to face each days with a broad smile. with the spirit of leo in me, i believe i will face each days with courages and full determination. afterall, it only lefts a month before i can go back home again. all the best to me.....gambateh...........
My baobei and vonny were sick too. Baobei was kept under observant for there is possibility for her to get dengue. i hope she will recover soon.and vonny too. for their SPM is coming real soon. what a funny thing!!both three of us gets sick at the same time. Who are we? "THE PISTACHIO'S" of course.
aiks.....so what can i do? my roommate, Huay Kee's went out early in the morning.i thought my housemates they all will boom the house early in the morning but surprisingly, they were not at home. this is the quietest weekend i ever had since i come here.to have the whole house to my own is such a rare opportunity. you might have think that i can do lots of things....but sadly...i can't even study. all i can do is just listen to songs, surfing the net and sleep.T.T...it is really a waste of time. but i can sort out my thinkings. recalling back my long long ago memories. flipping through those stories that i have written, it really brings back lots of feelings. no matter it is bitter or sweet, it is all past tense.
my most treasured memories is of course the memories of LEO. the phrase "i am who i am" is true. but what makes me become who i am today is all due to leo. a few years back, before i enter the world of leo, i was so NOT outstanding. always hide myself in the house, don't even want to follow my parents, don't even want to step out anywhere. my life is as boring as anything years before. my daily routines were school, back home, then stay in the house. everyday is the same for me. until the day when i entered the world of LEO(year 2005). and eversince i stepped into it, my life began to change.what is the meaning of LEO? Leadership, Experience and Opportunity. I simply loved leo. it blossomed my life tremendously. i am a most active members among my batch.I joined in all sorts of activities. from the orphanage, to old folks home, from dedication to leo installations, and even multiple district leo forum. i attended YES camps and always request permissions to go out. there was once, when i arrived home 2am in the morning. my mummy was damn worried and even threatened me to quit leo. but i object. sadly, leo affected my PMR results. which i feel i could easily score well if i weren't too active. But the post makes me lose my desire to study. and i want is just to carry out my duty well just like the phrase stated " With Love, We Serve". i can never ever forget this phrase. and also "Leading to Serve, Serving to Lead". As my post gets higher each time, it makes me learned more and more new things and to gain many priceless memories which you guys can never ever taste it unless you are a leo. Leo makes me gained friendship too. if it isn't for leo, i wouldn't have the chance to know Baobei and Vonny well. we created many silly jokes and encountered many shameful events. but who cares? we are who we are.If it weren't because of Leo, i wouldn't even have the courage to approach any strangers. If it weren't because of Leo, i wouldn't know the real meaning of love. If it weren't because of Leo, i wouln't realized how fortunate i was compare to the others. If it weren't because of Leo, i wouldn't have the chance to create happiness and to see the smile of others. I realized how stupid i was to work so hard last time just to gain those Alpha Top Awards. I realized that Award is not important as long as we served with sincere heart. It is the process and results that is meaningful and priceless to me.So long, i still wanna say "Thank you Leo club..!i am glad to be able to serve for leo. you makes me into what i am today. i am FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT!!" Once a leo, forever a leo...........together we achieve more...
memories ended. NOW, back to real life....it is more or less the same...except that my headache is slightly better. sweet memories really can heal something.i might even have the mood to revise later. fiddlestick!i know i won't study until the last minute. haha.....the due dates for presentations and assignments is coming soon. although hateful, but i am not panic and tense up. for i believe.....this is LIFE. every events is an add on to our life. if not..how can our life be colourful? thanks to all those memories..i start to know....nothing remains perfect. so long as we are able to think positively, i believe it is the best solution for us to face each days with a broad smile. with the spirit of leo in me, i believe i will face each days with courages and full determination. afterall, it only lefts a month before i can go back home again. all the best to me.....gambateh...........
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