...............

I don't know which route should I take.
If I choose the path that I want, I will be totally gone case...I know!!!
Yet, if I don't choose it, I know I wouldn't be happy either.

So God, what's next?
It is getting tougher. I felt the horn growing out of my head.. I just knew it.
I cannot do anything to prevent it.

Whoever out there, if you are kind, please save me!!

My 23rd

Hi World, in a blink of eyes, I am already 23 :) So far so good! Thanks to all people who took effort to make it meaningful. I can only confess my gratitude and happiness here. Again, I am really shy and many a times I really dislike my own birthday. I don't know how to react and I really don't want to disappoint any of you. I mean I do appreciate it...

 My lovely bunch of cousins and relatives who planned the whole surprise for me. I love them ...though sometimes I am not a good daughter, niece, cousin, girlfriend, disciple, and etcetera. Hey..I am made out of dust, hence, I can't be perfect (I can only try my best)

 I was suppose to fast on Tuesdays. Yet, it was really tempting to enter the house to see a try of handmade cupcakes. By grace, my pastor officially declared that I could break fast only for that day :) Thanks for making such awesome cupcakes. And most importantly, thanks for showing love and effort. I appreciate that thought..

 I like you for being sincere :) I appreciate that honest and sincere thought. Thanks for the cake and thanks for being there..

I don't know how many wishes and candles I have blown this year..but this is bound to be the last. Thanks children and the management team and as well as the colleagues for being there for me. Fancy making my wish in Kimono. It is like so rare and nice. Something that I always wanted to do..

Always love roses!! I am kinda traditional :) It touches me when people actually knows what flower I like and took effort to get it for me. I mean I am not that materialistic and wanting to go for these stuffs..but it is a nice feeling to know that people do care about my preferences and try to make me smile by fulfilling my desires.

All in all, this is one special and meaningful birthday for me. I thank God for all those people who are placed around me in my life. Blessed 23rd :)

Come Holy Spirit

I am reaching for Your heart

You hold my life in Your hands

Drawing me closer to You

I feel Your power renewed

I realized I am made out of water. Tears fall from my eyes easily nowadays. The Holy Spirit touches my heart every week. I really don't know how to describe. Every week, my spirit reveals different stuffs to me. And every week, I find myself in tears, overwhelmed by everything. I don't know and I don't understand at times where is it I should be heading and what is it that I should be doing. Again, I always feel heart wrenching when I witness somebody suffers. It is like I can only see you but I can't help you. My ability is limited but God is not limited. I just want to go with the flow and that's it. Whatever comes will come..

Yes, Lord! I will do just that. The rest is up to you :) 

Conquering the city

It feel so good to be able to wake up any time you want. Feels weird for not having to go to work but I secretly love that idea. 

 Messaged Meng about going to the rally at night and ended up we hung out together. I really love talking to her because we are kinda click and I think she's mature and bubbly. Really love it when she is on the stage with me and I feel more ease having her around :) She's like a buddy...

 Randomly, Whui Shean messaged me and ask me where we are. So we ended up having two more friends joining us. Happily and enthusiastically, we planned for the night rally!!

It was a great experience. I wasn't mad or emo over the outcomes but this is the least I can do for my country. Alph once told us off during leader's meeting that we are destined to be Malaysians. It is God's will. So if we keep on telling people how ashamed we are of our nationality and how we dislike Malaysia, then are we trying to indicate that God's plans for us are false? That session really boost me up!! From that day onwards, I never hear myself saying how ashamed I am to be born a Malaysian! I am proud of my nationality and I really want a breakthrough for my country!!!!

Just another day of hang out

This whole week seems queer and peculiar to me. My school is closing down for a few days due to "Hand Foot and Mouth Disease". To be honest, I personally feel that we should close down for two weeks since we already have like eleven cases. Miss my kids though as the day I leave is getting near :( 

 Rush off to Aeon Bukit Indah after cleaning up to meet contacts with the Gideonites :) Ended up doing  Street E with Lorraine. We talked to quite a number of young little girls. Sigh, they were really young and I half wish I could go back to those times again. Following up on them could be a challenging task but I am up for it!!

Met up with Justina earlier before dinner just to ensure she's alright. She is a nice person to hang out with. Always ready to share and full of exciting stories and happenings in her life

 We always talk about MCD and finally we are here. To be honest, fasting on a Tuesday and hanging out at my favorite MCD is really heart breaking and tempting.

The atmosphere became livelier when Edward joins in. He is such a joker that I had to laugh till my side ached so much.

 I always thought I am an extreme "Memory Keeper" but it turns out that Justina is a much more extreme keeper than me. Whenever and wherever, she will always request to take pictures.

Always got shot by them but it wasn't of intentions. We are just trying to spice up the atmosphere :) It's great hanging out with them.

It was a fulfilled day to me despite being really tired.

Deep into Oblivion

Woots!! So Tyng Wei is back! How I misses those times when I had to give him a lift in my little Esmeralda and of course all those nonsensical palace language.

He has always been like a little brother that I never had and it's great witnessing him transforming from a prim mouth person into the world greatest joker. I like hanging out with him. He is nice and caring though..

We were hanging out in J.CO when we randomly thought of watching movie. Oblivion was nice even though I fell asleep for a few minutes during the starting. We had a short argument deciding which girl is the prettiest.

Till then... I will wait for you to come back so that I don't have to go to church alone :) (PS: Don't really like to go to church alone) Meanwhile, do have fun in KL.

Happy Mother's Day

It is yet another brand new year. I've been celebrating Mother's Day for 23 years and I'll never gets tired of it yet. 

Mama I love you

Mama I care

Mama I love you

Mama my friend... you're my friend

Words cannot express my gratitude but I know I love you...

They are like Mommies to me. Whenever I needed help, they will never forsake me :) Glad to have so many great mommies in this life :) 

My little darlings and playmates. They have grown up. I still misses those days when we used to hang out with one another. Life has changed but I know deep down inside, we still reminisce over those sweet memories that we used to share.

How wonderful and beautiful God works in life. It is too overwhelming to me. I consider myself really really lucky :)

Afternoon with the churchies :)

Sunday is always awesome. It is always good to be in the house of Lord. To be honest, I wasn't feeling as well as I thought. Having nose blocked certainly kills my mood when I had to worship lead. I can't even bear my voice so how can I convince myself to lead people to worship. Anyway, thank God for coming to my rescue. At least we didn't ended up wrecking it!! Phewww...

Lots of things happened. I don't know why but I felt my holy spirit being moved today. I was in tears when I saw people surrendering their lives and hearts back to God. I just felt the piercing pain as I laid hand on the broken souls. As I prayed for Priscilla and her Mom, I felt myself choked and words just came out. I don't even know what I am saying but the spirit just take control of my tongue. 

All things went well :) Enjoyed spending time with the churchies. Sometimes we don't need to be all perfect to lead people. After all, we are made out of dust. We can't be as perfect as Jesus. All we can do is to try our best to be like Christ. As long as you need me, I will always be there :)

Ah wei!!!

Lim Chee Wei!! Met this girl during the church 1st Anniversary when she comes back from KL for water baptism. She's like a drama queen and we are kinda click even though we didn't communicate much. Life gets a little tad more interesting when she decided to go for a mission trip.

Get to know her more and she's awesome. We are pretty similar in terms of our quick temper, straightforward personality and craziness. People said we shouldn't hang around too much for fear that we would shake the World. Nonetheless, she's like a little sister that I never had and she's cool. All the best for your coming mission trip. I know God is going to bless you abundantly for your obedience. We  will wait for your good news :) Love ya..

My kids :)

I don't know how many times have I said this. I love every single kids of mine. They are my babies!!!

No matter how much I scolded them, no matter how much I beat them (not abusive), no matter how frustrated I am, at the end of the day, I still love them. As much as they can make me goes mad, crazy, and all, but they make me smile too. We shared lots of joy and fun. I enjoyed being a Mommy to them. It is good to know that people can rely on me instead of me relying on people. It does make a difference.

Well, what's done has been done. I felt guilty each time I scolded them or being frustrated. I am still learning how to control myself. Perhaps it is not as serious as I sounded but I do feel guilty. I can't help it. They are after all not my own kids and I do not have the right to scold them or so. I just want them to be on the right track... and that's it! Even as I said that, I know I still care for them and I want them to be good.

I love them.....

ABC triplets

I am really obsessed with kids. Not a pedophile though but I just find them very adorable and innocent :) 

I am very tired at times. Too many things to handle and I don't want it to be a momentary thing. If I want to do something, I want to let God take charge to guide me till I accomplish it. Life is like a journey..

I was captivated by Calvin when he first followed his parents to come check out the school. I was dumbfounded when the Mommy told me they were triplets and Cal is the youngest one. Glad that they came to spice up my life. One is active, two is gentle and three is sociable. They make good triplets!!!

Suddenly, I have having mixed feelings. I know I will be sad. I know I will be soft-hearted, but this is just the door that God wanted to close so that He could open up another... I trust in You as long as You lead the way..

The Firefly Cruise

I always know this year is going to be exciting and interesting. It marks a new phase and a new beginning for me as well. 

I love hanging around people and I like to be with lots of people (provided that I must know them). To say I love meeting NEW people, that's not really true. I may be loud and crazy, but only among people I feel comfortable with. I can be shy at times too. I am not anti-social as well...

Well, all in all, Firefly went well. There wasn't anything much to do on that ferry ride except to "woo" and "ahhh" and "wow" at the sight of fireflies. It was touching. It is good to go for a ride whenever you feel like being alone and whenever you want your thoughts to yourself. It is actually not very far and by the way, I MADE IT!!! We had lots of fun!!! Especially with the girls :)

Hear me!

Father Lord,

We need you to perform a miracle in our country right now! Let justice be done. Cast away all the evildoers and give us peace. We yearn for nothing but a better country. You already have the results in Your hand. Show us the way to Your glory. Let Your people have peace at hearts. No matter how the outcome is like, we will still trust in Your name. Do it for us Lord..

1st of May

Woohoo.. I am thankful for today because I get to sleep in late, spend time with my family and do NOTHING! Literally, if it wasn't for this stupid headache of mine, I would seriously love today to the core. It is all about eating and sleeping. By the way, I just woke up.. so Good morning till I sleep!! Wait, it is not about me having a bad or good day. 1st of May every year will always be a historical day to me despite me having a good day or a bad day :P 

PS: Look at my cheeky face :) I love spending time with my beloved and most favorite couple. I paired them up personally and hence, they are my favorite.

It wasn't an easy journey but I am always touched at the fact that they are still standing firm and growing strong. No matter how big the giants are and how tough life is for them, they still have one another to lean on. This is call true love. Though they fought bitterly, many attempts to break up, different opinions, and heading towards different directions, but I have faith in this relationship. God won't simply allows me to pair up people and ended up causing great disappointment. This is a phase where everyone has to go through.

Stay strong and keep walking my lovey dovey couple :) Just so you know (I said this every year), I will be watching you. Yes, I am checking up on you both all the time. Make sure you are good :) Love you both. You make me glad...