A big birthday shout out to my favourite little boy :) Blessed birthday Bernado!! Glad that I can still be part of it even though I am no longer a teacher. Recalling back to what happened last year, time really flies. Happy to see my God is working in this child's life and he is really growing into a fine boy.
I don't need him to communicate with me in a perfect way but by just grabbing my hand a little tighter and hugging me tightly convey all he wants to say. Can't help listening to the Whatsapp voice note that his mommy send to me a few days back. Almost cried with joy when I hear his soft little voice saying "Thank you Teacher V. ..I love Thomas Shark Exhibit". Oh that's what I bought for him on his birthday. I know he will love it :)
Continue to grow up well my little boy. You are 5 years old now… and many more years to come :)
Yesterday was a day of emotions! Hate it when I don't have the slightest clue of what I am suppose to do. Hate it when I seems to lost passion into doing what I am doing.
My darers are awesome! I seriously feel that they could go up to another level! Hate it when I don't know the right ways to deal with them. Hate it when there are so many things going on my mind and I can't say anything.
Hate it even more the days are passing by like a gush of wind and I realise it is too late to do anything. Hate it when I don't have a direction. Hate it when I always gets distracted by something…
I mean.. seriously man.. I don't like to use the word "hate" because it is harsh and hard. Alph always told me to not use it but I am sorry. I just had to because a lot are at the tip of my mouth and I had to swallow them in. So at least, in this space, let me say what I want. ..
Time flies!! Each day passes like wind! Can hardly slow down my pace.
PS: The picture above has nothing to do with my ranting. Selina Bear is having her final examination and I am suppose to take leave to go up to KL to support her. Always wanted to go but I guess the timing is not right :( Nonetheless, I know my friend will definitely do well. Proud of her!!
Well.. work is as stress as ever. Everyday I am living a zombie life. No direction and really clueless!! I wish I know what to do. I wish my job scope don't have to include persuading, pleading and begging. Feeling really empty at times. Sigh..
Yet, I know this is where I should be right now till God says it is time for me to move on to another stage. I really wish I know what to do..
Not sure of how things are like at the moment. Insecurity kicks in.. sigh. I can never freed myself from this torment.
On the other side, today is Good Friday. Lord… thank you for dying for me on the cross. Compare to all the emotional attacks and torments that I go through, You suffered more. You said that by the cross, I will be set free, and right now, I really need to be set free. Please set me free Lord!!
Speaking about life… I were never ashamed of my own life and the background.
When I used to teach, Mani and I always like to listen to all these kinda songs while putting and coaxing the kids to sleep.
"On my way here" by Clay Aiken is actually a really sad and yet encouraging song about someone having a real bad background and has to be strong. "Faith has conquered fear". I really like the meaning of it. Yes, we won't be able to change our life stories. We have to learn the hard ways. We have to fall. We have to leave the ground and learn to fly. Yet, everything will work out in the end :) Sometimes all it takes is just a little bit of faith. Spread your wings and fly and faith will lead you to another side. Well, maybe… I mean maybe, I have grown up after all.
I am stress not because someone is scolding me or so. I am just afraid to disappoint anyone. Be it God or be it my boss or be it anyone around me. I am just afraid of failing anyone.
PS: The above picture has nothing to do with this post. I just really miss the kids and I had to upload this!!
In work, I am a lone ranger!! Everything have to explore alone and fight alone. If there's result, everything is peaceful but if there's none, I have to go through the fear of being condemned. This is life!! Not that I am not trying hard but I really can't call the shot. Only my God can do this! God, what is the reason that you put me here in this company? Who do you want me to influence and what is the purpose?
With my bunch of darers, sigh… sometimes I felt like a failure. I know it is the devil!! The devil just can't stand seeing us having revival. They are kids/teens after all. Can't expect them to really be like an adult. One of them said, there is no bad student but only bad teacher. Ouchh! It pierced right through me! Well.. Father Lord.. the reason why I am doing all these is because You called me to. I will let no devils to destroy what You planned for me.
Man…I was browsing through YouTube and going through all the oldies and I came to this. Never knew Jacky Cheung could sing english song so well. Okay, that's not the whole point. The lyrics and melody really captured me! It was so heartfelt :(
You only get to hear this kinda song in movies, drama series, or weddings! Always cried when the bride walked down the aisle. It was just heartfelt.
There is one particular line that says "Love has found a way". In a very Viola's point of view, I would fantasise it in a very fairy tale like and romantic way. But in reality, all these are literally meaningless and too good to be true.
So, right now, I am thankful that Christ died for me 2000+ years ago and redeemed me by His perfect love. Love has definitely found a way because Christ found a way to my heart :)
PS: That aside, I still wanna cry to this song because the melody just caught me so badly…. heartfelt!!
There is something about this picture that really moves me. Look at that doggy's expression, so cute and yet lonely.
Was talking to Sarah earlier on during discipleship about what she is passionate about and she said animals. Lyrene's death has caused her to grow up in a way even though she was traumatised by it. I realised that we were both dreamers and dreams make us shiver at times.
Sometimes I wish I could capture the smiles of every single child in my life. They are just so pure and adorable. And it is always my dream to capture their smiles and keep it as a memory.
Work has been stressful as I really do not know what else I can do to persuade and convince. Clients have their own reasons and assumptions and I am in no position to change their mindset. SO…it is always during moments like this, I will leave everything and drove straight to my hiding place.
I sometimes wish God will open another door for me. Nonetheless, I am so thankful that He gave me these little sunnies who brighten up my gloomy day. I am still a blessed girl :)
Always thankful that Le Bestie is in JB and so close to me :) Whenever I needed someone, I will always text her and most of the time she will say "yes".
Things we did today:-
1) Had a very slow and nice brunch at Greenet
2) Chit chat till it rained and we have to stand under the rain just so I wanna take pictures of the love padlocks stairway and ended up running to the car soaked
3) Decided to go CS because she wanted to check out some Ironman stuffs
4) She insisted that she wanna buy me a keychain in exchange for our friendship ring :) Awwww… CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!
5) Help Le Bestie to shop for her brother's birthday present and we had sushi for dinner
6) She needs to check out some bridal exhibition for her projects and I ended up being her scapegoat while lying to those consultants that I am getting married :S
Love her to the max!! All the best in your assignments!!
What I want is simple…. so long things are fine...
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Sometimes I wish I have good news to tell buddy instead of having to assume that everything is gonna be alright. Whenever being asked how's my relationship, I always have to put on a brave front and say I don't know how long it is gonna last but I am hoping that it will be fine.
Whereas, couple like them is already planning what they are going to do in the future. And yet I am still struggling to see if we are stable or not.
This is now how a couple should be! Too carefree and lack of commitment…
SMILE BECAUSE I AM BLESSED... HAPPINESS IS A GIFT FROM GOD BECAUSE HIS JOY IS MY STRENGTH TO HELP ME TO LAST THROUGHOUT EVERYDAY... AND EVERYDAY, IT IS YOU I LIVE FOR ....
.jpg)
