1 Peter 5:7

1 Peter 5 :7 is always my most favorite and forever encouraging verse of all. Why? Every time I look upon the calendar (given to me by the Murdoch family) on my mantelpiece, It'll remind me that I should be casting all my worries and anxiety to God. Plus, the calendar is full of meaningful messages and words from the lovely people XD

Today makes no different. My BB Kelly has given me a bottle which consist of over 365 of small rolled notes last year for my 21st. She told me to unroll one each per day to find out what kinda message she has for me. It is encouraging as they were all bible verses. Sometimes, when I was feeling lonely and down in Singapore, these verses never fails to lift me up :) I don't how long I have been unrolling those notes, but today, I got my favorite verse - 1 Peter 5 : 7. I guess it shall be my encouragement for the rest of the day :)

1st of May 2012

1st of May every year, I shall dedicate a post to the two of you. My first attempt and success in match-making :) 

Happy 2nd Anniversary to buddy Li Xuan and Kon :) May the Angel of Love will wrap her arms around the two of you and surrounded you with peace and love. Have a blissful year ahead and many more years to come :) Continue to stay sweet and loving to one another.

PS: I'll be watching you!! *evil laugh*

<3

Flavor of Life :)

Nothing much to update for today apart from the fact that Sunday is always awesome. Oh, by the way, J.U.I.C.E was awesome too. Lots of souls were saved. I literally went MAD during worship. I just loved the presence of God. I did a lot of embarrassing and stupid stuffs too. Sighh..who cares? Nobody knows me at all. *Evil laugh* 

I thought we would arrive super late as we couldn't find our way. Thankfully, there are people who are later than us. That's why we had time to play photo shoot :) I love this picture because we are just so silly :)

PS: Even if you are the richest on this Earth and inherited the best traits of life, but it would be nothing if you don't have faith within you. I wouldn't want that emptiness within me.

This picture is even more silly. I realized I looked so short beside Huey. Viola, Why you no grow taller?

Lots of souls were saved. God is moving in this city :) Lots of people were slain. As one altar worker, all we have to do is to watch out for new souls in the altar and pray for them. I saw a lot of broken souls. As I approached each weeping souls, I realized that they were empty. I can feel the tightness as they hugged me. Lord, bless these souls. All they want is more of Your love. They are Yours.

It is not about anyone or anything else but between myself and God. I know I will goes mad whenever it comes to worship and praise. Lord, I am amazed by You...

The Avengers

The shrieking pain in my tummy has stolen my few hours of sleep last night. Not cool at all. I think I seriously need to be obedient. This is the second time my tummy hurts like this. It is rare and unusual.. 

On the other hand, The Avengers' superb nice. Scarlett Johansson is so stunningly hot and cool throughout the whole movie. I was lost in the first place wondering how come so many different characters from different movies appear out of nowhere. But it was good. Dislike saying this, but that green hulk is my least favorite character among all. Why? Because he scares the crap out of me. The whole World knows I would jump with fright even when the door slams shut. How dare he sprang out like that. Grrrr... (PS: Don't mind me. I am just ranting *winks* )

Alrighty World, Thank God for such awesome time :) I guess I just had to start my day late again. Which one should I start with? Laundry? Drama? Books? It is too complicated....

Missing piece

I love my holidays. Even if it is only a short while, but I love the fact that I get to do things that I like without having to bother going for classes and rushing assignments. I get to indulge myself with a lot of books. 

Ever since I listened to "That Girl" by David Choi, I fell in love with his masterpiece :) Been listening to his latest video "Missing Piece" and I finds it soothing and bubbly.

There's a missing piece inside of me
The rhythm of my heart hits unevenly
There's a missing piece inside of me

Can't help wondering, is there any missing piece in your life of puzzle? I do... that's why I need God to fill up that missing piece for me : )

STARS

I can't get rid of this habit of "Updating-several-posts-at-one-time". That's fine because I really can't help gazing and gazing at the stars pictures that Julian, Dee and the rest took. It is such a beauty :) 

How I wish I could lay and gaze upon a starry night view like this :) I don't mind lying there whole night. These fellow Murdochians were lucky enough to find this kinda view. They always had such fun and do interesting stuffs. I wish I were there :)

Dee told me during our last meet up, "Viola, you must start keeping long hair because I want all my bridesmaids to have long hair and wearing dress!" For your sake, of course I will XD She told me she wants to held her wedding in front of Fullerton Hotel on that nice staircase where everyone is welcome to join in this happy occasion XD I was fooling around with her that I had different idea. I want my wedding to be on a cruise filled with all my beloved people. And obviously everyone can join in this happy occasion too, except that they will have to throw flower petals at me by the edge. Ahhh....it was only just a dream. I would have been a real princess if I can fulfill all these :) Yet, nobody say you can't dream big. Dreams are not limited. You are allow to dream as big as you can...

And I shall :)

Blessed 22nd Chloe :)

Even though I am 2 days late, but still I wanna update a post to prove that I remember the birth date of my FIRST friend in KL :) I will never forget April 21st. And of course your age... :P

PS : Chloe, you are not that old. We are of the same age..

 This was during during her 19th birthday. Time flies!!! She was the FIRST girl I met and my first friend. Perfectionist, Smart, Awesome, Fashionista, Kind, Friendly, and Cool is all I could think of if you ask me to describe her. I miss you Chloe :) We must have a good chat when I goes back for a visit. I have so much to share....

Looking back at our "In The Hood" pictures, it brought back lots of memories. I miss all our endless chats, our favorite hang out place, lunch places, rushing for classes moments, and etc. Most importantly, these two girls are the BEST group mates you can ever have. Everyone will make sure they do their parts. We argued, disagreed and brainstormed over each others' ideas. Yet, project is project. Outside of it, we are still good friends. I miss hanging out with these two girls. Thank you for accompanying me throughout the whole foundation year. Life's great with you girls around.

This post is kinda diverted to another topic. It was suppose to be wishing Chloe a very blessed 22nd :)

Blessed 22nd Chloe, my FIRST friend in KL :)

Back to the House of Lord

No doubt, Sunday is always my favorite. I love being in the presence of God and I love all God's people :) My Little Esmeralda is sick again :( Trust me, I am just not used to not have her around. It is least convenient and I dislike having to trouble people to pick me up and send me home and all.... 

Little Esmeralda, Please get well soon! I promised I'll treat you just a tad bit better than before XD 

This picture was taken during Aunty Anna's last service with us by Hans. I misses her a lot. It just seem so quiet and not right without Jon Boy too. I miss having this little rascal around who will always bully me and yet sweet to me at the same time. Since I am writing about them now, so why not I just write it down for future memoirs :) I always known Jon Boy as a very hyperactive and talkative boy. The way he spent his money is totally absurd. He moved me one day when he happily tell me "Hey, I received a note of AUD100 from one of my aunt. I am so gonna spend it on the things that I like!" I felt happy for him as well. So i was "Wow wow wow-ing" all the way. Then he added "I actually don't mind buying you Starbucks since you are like my sister :) " Honestly I wasn't expecting this answer so I was kinda amazed. I spoke of this to Aunty Anna and her eyes nearly pops out XD She just told me one thing, "Girl, You are lucky. My boy would never offers anyone anything!" How I misses them...but a promise is a promise. I would definitely see them again XD

After being a "W.I.C.K.E.D" person for quite a while, I am longing for Titanic-ing!!! It is just once in a while, please forgive me....

Me- Time

Confused over a lot of things for the past few days and it totally affected my mood. Before I lose breath, I guess I need some ME - TIME (ONLY MYSELF AND GOD) to sort all these out. Dislike myself in this state. Haven't figure out what I will do.

Guess I will just drive my little Green Esmeralda to the city of no-where. Don't bother looking for me people. When the time is right, I'll appear. Just a day will do :)

Good bye!!

心墙

原以为每次都会很闪亮的星期五今天看起来比普通还要普通。
早上起来看见了好友，利暄留给我的信息。信息里讲述了她花三个小时来写一篇文章。
文章真的很长，但看了却很温馨。有关我们所经历的事情，无论快乐还是悲伤，重温后却让我很感动。虽然主角是她和他，但我还是很感动！因为 “你们” 是我目前为止最大的荣耀 ：）谢谢你激发我想写的毅力。我用最快的速度把家务做完，然后就打算好好的享受一个只属于我，blog 还有上帝的下午 ：）

爱得刚巧
从前从前，有一位男孩在不知觉的情况下，爱上了一位和他一样文静的女孩。他想尽办法来接近女孩。女孩很单纯，她完全没察觉到男孩对他的好感和心意。很不凑巧的，女孩的朋友却在阴差阳错的情况下发觉了男孩对女孩的爱慕。所谓的 “朋友” 就追着男孩问东问西的，搞得男孩有点不好意思。但，男孩最终还是选者把自己的感情说给 “朋友” 听。这也算是他为了这段感情而勇敢的赌一赌。“朋友” 当时的立场真好－和女孩交情不错，同时也开始慢慢了解男孩的个性。其实 “朋友” 一早就认定男孩和女孩总有一天会在一起，也认为两人很相配。所以，她做了一个决定。

当中间人其实并不容易。尤其是你知道两方面在想什么，但却什么都不能说。男孩对女孩的感情一天比一天多，但也渐渐觉得累。他什么都不知道！他只知道他已经很努力了，但女孩依旧冷漠。他没把握自己能够撑到那个 “打动她心的那一天”。他的心曾为了除了“她”以外的人动摇过。 “朋友” 当是真的真的很难过也很烦恼。她了解女孩的心思和心意。女孩早已被男孩的细心和专一而感动了。只是，她还在等待，等待那一个她认为 “对” 的时刻。同时，无知的男孩却一口咬定女孩铁定对他没意思。要不然也不会让他等上超过八个月漫长的时间。他累了！他决定放弃。他还是很喜欢他，但，他只是觉得女孩和做梦一样，醒来后，全部都会消失。“朋友” 虽然很想真心祝福他 （因为“朋友” 并不知道何时才是女孩的“对” 的时刻）可是自私的“朋友”了解女孩会有多心碎多难过。所以，“朋友” 做了一个很坏的决定，但她并不后悔。“朋友” 决定将女孩写的秘密文章转发给男孩，好让男孩不会为了自己的无奈和少得可怜的自信心而后悔！这果然是个明确的决定，男孩看了后大哭了一场。他终于明白女孩对他的心意了。男孩不断的向 “朋友” 道谢，同时也很欣慰自己没有做出一个会让他后悔很久的决定。

不用我说，你们也知道这会是个怎样的结局 ：）每年的五月一号都是个值得纪念的日子 ：）

奇迹的碎片
爱情本来就没有像电视剧里那么的美满和甜美。真正的幸福是两个在一起的人都能够接纳对方的好与不好。每段感情里，绝对少不了的就是争吵和不理解。亲眼目睹男孩和女孩的爱情过程，让我很欣慰。 无论他们吵得多凶，女孩又多野蛮，男孩有多么的不解，但最终他们还是熬过来了：）有时候，看到他们两因为彼此的不成熟而难过，这位 “朋友” 的我都会烦恼自己当时是否做对了选者？撮合他们两，我并不后悔。你们两要一直撑下去知道吗？？？我相信我的直觉 ：）我不会看错人的。。。

最近和小朋友们聊起了我 “封锁的初恋日记”。再来，又看见了男孩和女孩辛辛苦苦走过的旅程。为什么踏入一段感情容易而要找一个完全能接受自己的人那么难？没错，当时的我因为一丝丝的好感而决定坠入一段让我如今感到非常后悔的感情。他很好，对我千依百顺。我是个坏人，有时的忽冷忽热让他非常头疼。刁蛮幼稚的我，却因为性格相反的我们而感到痛苦。要怪就只能怪缘分不站在我们这一旁。我不要求我的他每件事都要顺着我，而我只希望他在适当的时候能给予我要的空间。我不要求我在每次的争吵后都得到胜利，但我只希望他在适当的时候能给予我赌气的机会，而不是争吵后还要我的带着伤痛来哄回他。我不要求我的他是个如此帅气，富有和有身份的人，而我只希望他在适当的时候能给予我体贴，温柔，依赖和尊重。我不要求我的他一定要成为百分之百完美的人，我只希望他在适当的时候能给予我安全感好让我能解放撑了许久的委屈和难过。我不要求他用金钱来哄我，我只希望他在适当的时候不让我感到空虚就够了。我不要求他完完全全能认同我的所作所为，我只希望他是个能够完全接纳我的一切的人。我不要求他一定要努力了解女孩的心思，我只希望他在我什么都不说的情况下能理解我是多么的不快乐而静静的待在我身旁。我不要求他一定要24小时和我腻在一起，我只希望自己能够成为他眼里的 “唯一”，因为我是个多么没安全感同时也很会胡思乱想的女孩。只要这样就够了。。。

虽然很遗憾我们没办法走到最后，但我并不后悔放弃这一段感情。他可以找到更好的女孩！我是真心的祝福他：）其实我并不是一个铁石心肠的人。我也有软弱的时候。刚分手时，虽然表现得好像一切都很好，但我并没有那么坚强。虽然相处的时间并没有很长，但却足够让我培养我对他的依赖以及习惯。我会烦恼我是否能够独立的生存。少了他，我真的能够做那些我根本就不拿手的事情吗？他比较感情丰富。。。分手后把自己弄到好像生不如死似的。瘦了一大圈，再来就是脸色惨白。我没有他那么勇敢，把快乐与悲伤都写在脸上。我比较喜欢让人看见我坚强的一面。所以喜欢一个人躲起来哭， 用这样的方式来折磨自己。 我也经历过煎熬，也曾想过要回心转意。但我知道如果我这样做，我只会让彼此更加痛苦吧了。

不用我说，你们也知道结局如何? :) 分开后，我显然自由了。也不必担心对方是否会对我感到反感，也不必担心对方会变心 （ps: 都说了，我很会胡思乱想！！）我很满意我们现在的关系。我们还是好朋友。 在我需要帮助的时候，他不会袖手旁观。非常感谢上帝让我了解一段感情真正的意义。虽然只是短短的一年多，但我体会到了一段感情的付出和艰难。我领悟到上帝对我的关爱。所以我不会向失败低头也不会软弱。因为下一个会更好 ：）

闷热的天气让我怀疑我是否能够成功的打完这篇文章。写着写着，天气却变凉了：） 听着郭静的 “心墙” 让我感触特别躲。每个人的心理都会有着一道墙，但同时在心底的最深处都隐藏着一层窗。偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光。打开窗你会看到悲伤融化 ：） 是的，没有一件事能让我们悲痛得走不出来。 打开你心底的那层窗吧！！

Staying positive :)

No idea why I can't update everything in one post and pick up this weird habit of updating several posts per day.

Anyway, due to this whole exam thingy, everyone around me is either in foul mood or they were downright negative. I dislike seeing all these. It is not that I wanted everyone to be happy and positive like me but I am just thinking, "Won't the World be a better place if there is no sadness, unhappiness and negative thoughts?" It is not a 100% curable thing but we can at least try to make an effort to not contribute to the Satan's World. 

Even the most confident and positive person can be defeated by negative thoughts. Why do you all choose to be so confident in the first place when you know you can't even do the simplest thing by maintaining that kinda spirit. Unless you are somebody who loves to grief and be sad, then I have no say. It grieves me to see "Fear" defeating a confident person. I may not be the best and perfect person, but at least I know the simplest theory of not grieving my soul because I totally hate that kinda unbearable and torturous feeling inside. That's why I thank God everyday for His immediate healing to my emotions each day :) He will never allow me to grief for more than 24 hours. 

Yet, everyone is different. Just because I am able, it doesn't mean they can. And vice versa, there are bound to be things within them which I can't do as well. This is fair isn't it? But I still stand with the fact that "A smile and positive thoughts can make a huge difference to what is going to take place later on". 

Smile people.... just smile :) 

WICKED

Alright people, despite the fact that I have no idea what will happen to my future results, I don't believe in grieving myself and being all sorrowful and negative over it. Life goes on isn't it? And kudos to the "Dare to dream, dare to accept" ME, I finds it even harder to stay negative. So cheer up people, exam is only a temporarily thing. 

 Ever since I saw all postings, comments, pictures and status updates from my people in Perth, I took a huge interest in this whole "Wicked" thingy. I read the story of "The Wizard of Oz" when I was young and I can't imagine what is the link between Wicked and the story. "The Wizard of Oz" is such a heartwarming tale. Anyway, I finally had chance to catch a glimpse of it when they run shows in Singapore. I can only say, it is worth the price I paid. And if I have chance, I would watch it for the second time.

There were laughters, anxiousness, fun, tears, agitate, and rush all coming from me that formed into a category called "mixed feelings". I don't even know who is sitting next to me and who I came with because the musical say it all.

Here are my companions for the "Wicked" night :) I couldn't possibly watch it alone so I thank them for watching it with me (PS: Even though they were interested in it themselves :P ) Anyway, it was a great night and we were all dead tired. I am so sick of walking that long long bridge. Wouldn't even dream of walking on it alone.

Finished one of my books earlier on, and I loved it. Now it is time to get back to my "Wicked" story again. As much as the musical was good, but reading a book will be a total different. I am becoming wicked, I know :)

Random thoughts

Yooo I am back again after my first post. Can't resist coming back here because at this kinda hour, I have no one to talk to. *grinning widely*

Recently I had this mindset "Why do guys all think the same?" Well, maybe I shouldn't see it as a generalization. I realized guys are not as complicated as girls and their answers always come first hand and very practical. I was talking to Tyng Wei and ZiQin yesterday when they asked me about my preparation for my exam. I asked them to help me to sit for my exam and they both answered at the same time (different chat box), "You want to fail?" I was like "No! But I am just pleading you to replace me in that freaking exam hall." Then they asked again (at the same time) "What subject is that?" And I said "Marketing!!" You know what, I know it is silly of me to be so amazed over all these but they both answered the same thing by saying "Oh please, I totally don't know anything about marketing. I only know that it is all about hot girls selling product!" Right, it is not something to make my jaws drop or eyes popping out thingy. But I am just so amazed that I can actually received the same reply and answers at the same time from two different person, from different World and different chat box.

Anyway.. as I mentioned earlier on that I shouldn't view it as a whole generalization. So I shall just say that these two boys think alike. Maybe they have this kinda telepathy between them which they are not aware of? My bulimia issue is not something new or issue to be make a fuss of. I have no idea what led us to this topic earlier on but it is obvious that they both answered with the same words and same expression "WHAT?! Bulimia is no good!!" You can actually predict the rest of the conversation so I shan't say more. Quite amazed :) I love talking to them because everyday, you get to know them bits and bits. And everyday, there's something new to learn and to add on to your knowledge.

I cannot stand being alone so I have to find someone to talk and crap. I won't usually initiatiate a conversation or randomly find people to starts a converstation. Rather, I'll wait for you to come and find me and if you have anything to share, you are welcome to do so. I am really amazed at how things worked out. It has been a year since I served in this church and it has been a year of toleration an perserverance. To be honest, I still think that this is one of the worst and yet best decision I have ever made about giving up Perth and coming back to where I belong. I don't deny that I misses the zone and yet at the same time I am thankful that all these took place so that I can stand alone and fight my battles with the help of God :) I may not know how my future would be like and where He truly wants to place me in, but I am learning to be submissive and learning to be obedient. God, I won't ask You to bring me back to Perth anymore because this might not be what You planned ahead for me. I won't ask You to lead me or open doors to something that I want to do because Your ways and thoughts are higher than mine. What I think is good might not be good for me..

Father, I just ask that You will solve all mysteries that is pondering in my heart and mind. Lead me on Sweet Jesus :) You are my all in all..

It is DONE..

I guess I am DONE for real. MM paper was a killer. I was literally "Walao-ing" all the way. Plus the exam hall is soooo cold that I can't stand staying a minute later inside. Anyway, I am hoping for the best!! Go away Satan... Don't spoil my mood now..

Suddenly felt so empty..goodness know why! I should just stop thinking and get back to my book. Books are my best consolation when I am feeling not right...! Enough said..I am actually quite hungry though but judging the time, I guess I better give up the thought of grabbing something to eat.

It is ending soon..

Life as a student is not fun at all. It is so hard to memorize stuffs when I am not even interested in that module itself, let alone trying to understand it. Again, tomorrow shall be my final paper for this freaking trimester. It is my so-called do or die paper. So Mr Satan, I am battling with you again. Don't you dare to distract me in my thoughts and take away my thinking cap. 

 My little rascal!! Forever a naughty and greedy little fellow but oh goshh..he is just so cute :) Can't help cuddling him.

I was talking to someone earlier on regarding "Genders equality". There are a lot of things which I don't agree with it. Girls are not weaklings and yet, we are not that superior either. There are times to be strong and times to be weak. Anyway, it is too deep. Let's drop the subject!!! Better not kill my brain cells just a day before exam.

I love smiles and laughters. Especially "they" come from your beloved ones. Recently I felt so guilty. All because of this whole exam thingy and church thingy, I seldom spend time with Mommy and Daddy. Daddy was so upset that he spoke to me just before I leave for church on Sunday. He said ever since I goes to church, He hardly sees me around anymore :(( Mommy agreed too. This makes me sad.

Sometimes I really don't know what to do? Why can't you all just cut me in half? I really cannot please everybody. I can only try my very best......

And this is when You need to come in....God....

Fun times never end..

Praise the Lord for the smooth journey going in to Singapore and coming back to JB. It could only meant one thing - The Satan lost his battle *Big grins* I have to say today's paper was fine but because it is in essays form, so I really have no idea if my joy would turn to sorrow? Narhh.. hopefully NOT! I have one more paper to go. Hwaiting XDD

 We had an early 21st birthday celebration for Eric boy. It was fun. Manage to make him jumped and kinda shouted in fright with the crawlies. *Evil laughs* Serve him right for tickling me and throwing popcorns at me in the cinema. And spoiling all the beautiful ambience too. This cheeky boy is forever pranking people but it is fun to have a little brother like him. I enjoyed the crazy moments of shouting randomly at strangers on the road, coning and a lot more. I named him "Naughty bad boy" and indeed, HE IS!!

We have no idea what comes over Alvin yesterday? But he was behaving in an unusual manner. He enjoyed whispering air in Melissa's ears which makes her kinda exasperate! It was funny! Alvin actually said he felt embarrassed having to sing birthday song in a dessert house. Due to this whole "embarrassing thingy", we came up with a brand new trend. And that is every time there's a birthday celebration, we no longer have to sing birthday song but JUST WHISPER. (PS: Whisper just as it is shown in the picture above)

I was being blessed a lot by Father God recently. I felt as if I couldn't take it anymore.... but thank you Father for being there with me :) I love you to the very maximum level...

Titanic

I think it is like a norm for me to start my day late everyday. Wasting time is not a good thing to do but I really have no idea how am I suppose to keep my eye-lids open big and wide. Sigh. I need motivation!!! Someone...please save me!!! On the other hand, right now, I need 18% to pass my Marketing Management. Final is 50%. Shouldn't be problem right? :((( I am worried for my New Media Tech's paper tomorrow. Okay, I have to admit I am kinda scare for the first time.....arghhh..

This is the 3rd time in my whole life watching Titanic. For some reasons, I always cried at the same scenes and those scenes never fail to touch my heart. I really love the song and melody. "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion was the first song I memorized since I know how to read. That's why I have strong affection towards this movie. Anyway, I don't care tuppence about the romance and as well as The Jack and The Rose thing. I cried because I imagined myself as one of the passengers on the ship. Imagine me having to run for life....I don't think I can even survive. The background melody make things worst. It contributes to your emotions

Somewhere around February 2011 (last year), I joined a movie marathon organized by the Hongkies. The theme was "English movies ONLY" but because girls are more persuasive, so we ended up watching "Titanic". It was so good. All the girls were crying hard. I really misses them.

All in all, I love this movie and it's great reminiscing all the past. Can't wait to get done with all my exams so that I can be lazy (I always am lazy, but maybe I could lazier :P ) I am having a real battle with the Satan tomorrow. Don't you dare to take away all my wisdoms and distract my thoughts when I am sitting for that monstrous paper. I'll settle with you if you do so.. hmmphhh...

Fun times

Been chilling, eating and hanging out too much recently when I know I should be burying myself with the notes. Still, Thank God for these amazing people. No matter who you are, as long as you are my friend, I'll treasure you for life :) 

A lot of things to do.. but I have no idea where to start. Sigh!! I am hungry and thirsty for God's wisdom. I don't know what I want. But there is a voice within me that is continuously crying out for more. I want more of His power, more of His anointing, and more of His revelation. I just want MORE!!!

Instead of doing meaningless stuffs, I could actually spend time with more people. I think I shall do that. Things will be fine. I just want to give my life to God and serve Him all my life. But I know He has different calling for me.

Isaiah 55:8-9 - The Lord says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. For just as the heaven is higher than the earth, and so are my thoughts higher than your thoughts, and my ways higher than your ways"

Sometimes, I tend to ask God "Father, I don't want to do this. This is too hard for me. Can I do other things instead?" Or sometimes I would just be bold and say "Can I do this? Can I do that?" After so many attempts of trying to get what I want (Be it my dream ministries, Be it my dream guy, Be it my dream course, Be it my dream job and Be it my whatsoever stuffs), I know there is someone with greater authority, plans, thoughts and ways than I do. I surrender myself to Him knowing that He will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I am able to move on because of You. I am alive because of You.

Thank You Jesus..

S.E.C.R.E.T.S

I should be sleeping at this point of time. My eye-lids are getting heavier and my mind is telling me that it is really time to sleep. Yet, I just enjoyed talking to people and hence, I can't sleep right now. I was gonna tuck in when this person came and talk to me. At first we were just crapping and being nonsensical, but I never thought we would ended up having a heart-to-heart chatting session. 

From royal language to girls, from girls to boys, from boys to anime, and the list goes on. It helps me to understand and know this person more. I am honored to be able to gain this person's trust. We had a good chat :) The Lord said, "Treat my people rightly and you'll be blessed". 

My right ear is in pain :( Why? Because I tend to forget that I just had a piercing there and I almost always accidentally hit it or grab it roughly without knowing. Super pain!!! I don't think I can sleep leaning to the right tonight...

Awesome Celebration :)

I loved the way I spent my Good Friday and Pre-Easter celebration. Again, I have different people who keeps me packed at different timing. Praise the Lord for it :) 

Love this girl to the max. I know you are not someone who will just say "I will pray for you" and that's it. I know you will really pray for me. Therefore, Thank God for you <3

I want to write a long post but decided NOW is not the best time. I might need to look through some notes before my first paper tonight, though I really thought I would rather spend time in praying. Dilemma.... but God knows this complicated and confusing me...

My Little Rascals

I was chatting with a good friend of mine who just went to Perth this whole morning. I met him during our Leo era. I can't resist pouring out to him whatever I am going through recently. I told him I would go crazy if I can't walk out from this stupid "Letting go affair". I knew he would understand and I was right. Apparently, he been through all these and hence he is able to understand how I felt inside. I am feeling so much better already. We had a good chat. 

My day was blessed with lots of nice and good people who accompany me through different timing. Huey and Meng spent my late afternoon with me. As usual, our study session turns out to be chatting chat XD I enjoyed chatting with them and we are quite clicked :) 

Dinner with the beloved ones was awesome too. I misses my two little rascals. It has been a while since I last seen them. They were still energetic and showering them is not an easy task. Lots of shouting and lots of complaining...but beneath all these, I felt the warmth and happiness. 

 Funky Barry

Forever eating Rynn

I just wanna say, I love my two little rascals. I may be scolding them and I may be impatient with them at times, but at the end of the day, I thanked God for them. Nothing is greater and more precious than your own blood-related kins. 

We are the reason

Early in the morning, I love listening to the splattering sound of the rain. Even though I don't like the idea that i am being grounded at home due to the heavy rain. I don't want to get myself all-wet and yet, at the same time, I feel like running and playing under the rain. 

Today is a special day because it is Good Friday. I have a lot to say earlier on but when it comes to it, my mind goes blank. I don't know how to describe. If it weren't because of You, I won't be able to to know the reason why I am living. As long as I live, I'll lift my voice to the one who will seek me, I'll sing.. 

Sometimes I don't understand, what exactly have I done to deserve Your love and sacrifices for me? I failed you all the times and I am always saying nasty things to You, especially when things don't go my way. Yet, You refused to give up on me. Many times I wonder what would my life be if You hadn't been so persistent and insisted that I should be serving in your kingdom. Why must you be so stubborn? Just leave me alone.... Maybe I won't feel so guilty. You asked me not to grieve my soul and right at this moment, I am grieving it for some stupid matters.

I am sorry Father. I can't say I am able to change completely because I am still a weakling. I can only assure You that I will do my best just like 2 Timothy 2 :15 :)

Thank you for dying for me on that cross. Thank You for saving my life...

Nicole THE CRAZY...

Woke up feeling awful. After a moment of meditating upon God's word, I felt so much better and was determine to start my day with laughters and fun. 

I did :) Had lunch with Nicole and Tze Xin and we always had fun. Enjoyed laughing at all those eenie meanie tiny peasy stuffs like stalkers, that hot girl, perverts and etc. I don't even need to tell them the stuffs I am going through but all I need is just a dose of the laughter's medicine from them :) 

I don't know since when, KOI tea has became our weekly must-have drinks. And this time, Randy bought us a big cup. Ended up giving it to Gracie because it is too big.

Anyway, this girl is simply creative. We were talking about "Cinderella Story" earlier on and I told them I like the phrase "Waiting for you is like waiting for the rain in the drought. Long and disappointing". Then she called me siaoo and said "Singapore don't have drought. You should just change it to waiting for you is like waiting for the flood in Perth. It washes all my hopes and strength away?" XDD Lame!! But it totally made my day. Perth is not ulu at all and I love it..

Then she texted me with another phrase that she made - "Loving you is like loving a rainbow - there is only so much I can see you." And she added this applies only to a one-sided love.

Honestly speaking, I think she makes a good poet. I promised her that I will give her credits in my blog and I shall. Not bad right? In future if you wanna use any of her self-written phrase, please use this Viola's Referencing which consist of pen name and year. In this case it shall be (Nicole, 2012).

I am sore and ache from all those laughs. At least, it chases all my haunted dreams away. I don't want to come back to reality...

Come Holy Spirit

Come Holy Spirit fall on me now

I need your anointing

Come in your power

I love you Holy Spirit, You're captivating my soul

And everyday I grow to love you more

I am reaching for your heart

You hold my life in your hand

Drawing me closer to you

I feel your power renew

Nothing compare to this place

Where I can see you face to face

I worship you in spirit and in truth....

A few moments ago, I experienced God's love again. Just when I was so broken and so down, He came and wrap His arms around me. Lord, I trust you in this. Things will be fine. It will turns out to be good. Would You be there to carry my faith to another level? Captivate my soul... and don't ever let me go..



It is like a dream....

I was browsing through my previous posts earlier on and I realized, I didn't really mention much about the beloved zone apart from the fact that I am always saying I misses them and so on. Facebook is really boring but the reason why I kept it is to enable to retrieve news from the zone and not forgetting to build a connection with the beloved Firstizens :) If I am destined to look after a group, then I shall do it. Your will be done Father.


Someone used to tell me "Pictures can speak thousands word". So I shall hold back. This post will be full of pictures - "My walk and memories with the beloved zone". It was only just a dream. These are my fondest and sweetest memories to lift me up when I am down.

PS: For some reasons, the pictures' arrangement is a bit weird and I can assure 100% that not every single that I selected is here. Nonetheless, I am still happy and contented with just looking at it :)

 My favorite and 38 Zone Supervisor, Alphonsus and Zone Supervisor from Curtin, Yan Pin baptized me on the 9/10/2010. It shall always be a significant date to me :)

 Second performance of choir in Curtin, together with the dancers from Fusion :)

 Did I ever tell you how important these girls are to me? They are with me all the time and I misses them...

This was taken during Alph and Lena's wedding banquet...

 With my pretty darlings at a most awesome wedding. Congrats to Alph and Lena. This was taken a day before my flight back to Singapore.

 My last speech before I flew off. Those standing nearby are not reporters. I would call them my "Pillars". I was touched by their sincerity.

 

 If God say I could repay someone for doing a good job in assisting my Christianity walk, I would say, I owe this zone too much too much. Words are beyond description and I can never repay you all. I just love you all too much....

 When Alph texted everyone to ask if anyone is interested to join drama, as usual, no one replies. I literally went dumbfolded when I received the second text from him saying that "Viola, you have no choice but you are in FOR REAL!!" I was like "What on Earth? Why ME?" Alph always say there is a reason why he chose me but he just wouldn't tell me why till this very day.

So there you go... my first attempt acting out in ZPH Drama. And I was lucky enough to get a role which is so me. Guess what? A TOMBOY!!! I was being called a "Gangster" and "Ah Lian" ever since then ...

 Life is always joyful whenever I am with these people....

 My second act with the drama people from ZPH. My ex-cell leader, Yu win always said "Your role is always scolding people. Can't they give you a more demure role?" I laughed. Yes, I think I am destined to shout and scold people. So you know why I rather not be girlish. Not because I don't want to, but that's just not me.

 Fairytales' said "Beauty and the beast"..but in Foolz for Christ (The unruly drama team), we are "Wicked Witch and the beast". I enjoyed myself. I am contradicting myself all the time. I always complaint that I want to quit drama and goes into choir but when the time comes, I always ended up enjoying and treasuring my moments with the drama people.

I know I am complicated...

 Raphy couldn't get a model so I have to be his last-minute model. As much as I am a loud and crazy person, but I can be really shy in front of the camera. I mean I don't mind acting stupid, silly and funny but when it comes to real photoshoot, I trembled. I enjoyed this FIRST experience. It turns out to be fine because I couldn't smile and hence, everything seems emo and gothic. I realized, being a photographer is not easy :)

 Mr Ju Cheong Cannot Make It and Raphy boy :) One is forever teasing me about "Cannot Make It" whilst the other one is asking me "Vee-oh-Laaaa, so do you miss your sister, Violin?"

Sometimes, I don't know whether I should be happy or sad? It is fun to have someone like them. Not much interaction and communication, but still click :)

 My first attempt being a DJ. I have no idea why I would enrol myself in the radio course and hence I don't have the chance to be shy. It is all about "Do it" or "Fail". I am thankful that Mr Ju Cheong Cannot Make It was in the same class as me. At least I have someone whom I could turn to. That's how I got closer and closer to Dee and Ms Foh. I miss all those late night hang outs and all those yummy food marathon..

 My awesome cell group. I was quite upset when Alph decided to transfer me from Jovan's group to Yuwin's group. Why? Because I don't know Yuwin very well and he seems like an emo boy to me. As I started helping out in his group, I realized he is a really good leader. He always encouraged me with a lot of big and small issues and always assuring that I did a job job.

He plays quite a big role talking me into going for water baptism. I am glad I get to serve under such an awesome leader and in such a great cell group :) These people certainly made a mark in my life...

 My crazy zone supervisor (Yes, the one with moustache) said, "We have to take a picture because Viola is crying!!" Do you want to know why I cried? It is not about feeling touched or overwhelmed, but of fright. I remembers a few days before baptism, I was pleading Alph to not put me as the first speaker to share my testimony on stage.

But when I stepped into the church, he came to me and say "Viola, I have a bad news for you. Look at this!!" As he spoke, he was slowing pointing my name and I got cardiac arrest when I saw my name was the FIRST on the list. I was like "Oh my goshhhh" and broke down crying. I know it is stupid but I was scared at that moment.

Come to think of it, it is a priceless moment for me :)

You know what? The picture above shows the best moment in my life. I truly wish God could bring me back to that moment and let the sun stand still for me. Imagine the whole zone came to support and cheer for you. Yes, ALL of them prayed and laid hands on just the four of us :) I can still hear Alph shouting "Wow.. we are the biggest crowd here. I think we need a mic!!"

Obviously, this is not the end but I just want to write something about the zone :) Thank You Jesus for the priceless memories that becomes my ONLY inspiration to lift me up when I am sad. I don't know where You will lead me to, but I know I am safe in Your arms....

Lazy

最近的我很没精神。心情也闷得让我提不 起劲！！
看着那堆视如山似的笔记和该读的资料，我还真想哭。考试期间越来越近。我都不懂我该从哪开始读起。。。。。

一天的时间过得还真快！！有时会纳闷自己一整天到底在忙些什么。是不是在做些有意义的事情？我自己也搞不清楚。当天色开始暗淡时，我才开始痛恨自己为什么要浪费宝贵的时间 :(

今天也不例外，我又浪费了一整天的时间了。 打扫家里又用不着一整天。最多才一两个钟头而已。那其余的时间呢？我想都花在看书或睡觉吧！！睡那么多也没用。。。。醒来后还是觉得闷闷的。想到明天又得回去上课，我的心情更加提不起劲！！！我完了！！！

你们哪位好心人愿意拉我一把？？救救我吧！！！我不能再懒惰下去了！我得好好的安排我该做的事了。

“大手牵小手。小手拉着大手。无论多么的无奈，无论有多悲观，我只知道耶稣爸爸不会让我一个人走！” :)

Good bye

I know I am really stubborn. It is not getting anywhere and I knew it. Even if I am really afraid to approach him also, but in the least, I'll still do something about it. Not only I refused to do anything but I am not willing to let go and move on. A lot of people has been telling me to let go and yet I refused to. I just don't want to which I don't know why. It is not fun holding on to a feeling which is not going to blossom.

But today, yes... TODAY, everything changed during the altar call, when Jeremy ask us to think of something which we have been holding back and refusing to let it go. Be it your family situation, a type of feeling which you can't seem to forget, and anything else.... just let God speak to us. As he says that, "His" image pops out in my mind. I felt tears running down my cheeks. I knew it since the start that I wouldn't be happy even if I continues to wait and if I don't let it go. If that's so, why am I still holding on? And during that moment, God is asking me to let go. To let go of his image and memories completely. I am always complaining that I want an answer from God and right at this moment, He is asking me to move on. Being stubborn won't help me to become a good disciple of God, so I am letting go just in case God is getting impatient with me...

It is a pity to let go of this feeling which I have been guarding so preciously for two years but I know I had to. I will choose you Lord for anyone else in this World. You will assure me that I have made the right decision. I will rise when He calls my name. No more sorrows no more pain.......

With the Lord by my side, I am here to bid an official Good bye to the image of you that turns me into a most stubborn girl. Thanks for being an inspiration that lifted me up. Good bye..

PS: I find this phrase from a song really suitable for the title of this post. 我给你最后的疼爱是手放开....