I shall dedicate my second post in year 2012 to you. Despite fasting food which is the hardest task for me and having a bad tummy plus falling sick at the same time, i am glad i am able to make it to the prayers' meeting tonight :) Thank you for revealing Yourself to me. Your presence was so close, like really, so close to me. I don't even know how to describe but i felt something in my heart.
I have been neglecting you all these while even though i am a regular member in church and committing myself in serving. I realize most of the time, i am not serving you but the people out there. Sometimes i don't even think that's what you want me to do but i'll still do it because people asked me to. No matter how inconvenient it is, i'll still do it despite the fact that the holy spirit is telling me not to. Lord, i am disobeying you from times to times. I failed you from times to times by upsetting you and not listening to your voice. I always repent over some similar matters after seeking for your forgiveness. I did not trust that i have been forgiven the FIRST time i ask for it. I can't feel the pain of yours knowing that i did not give you my whole heart. I know how hurt and pain you are because you loved me for than anything and more than anyone else in this World. You are indeed my savior.
Forgive me for having mixed feelings and lots of stuffs on mind while doing my quiet time. Forgive me for not paying enough attention while going through your Words. Forgive me for not spending a good and quality time with you as i chose to do other things rather than putting you first. Forgive me for choosing sleep over you when it is time to pray. Forgive me for putting all blames on you when things do not go my way. Forgive me for always doubting you when i was being tested by you. Forgive me for not being thankful over the things that you've blessed me with. Forgive me for being greedy because i wanted more. Forgive me for being selfish because i am afraid of getting hurt. Forgive me for not trusting that you are all that i need. Forgive me for wandering off when i should be placing my trust in you. Forgive me for always repeating the same mistake. Forgive me for being as bad as i always am...
I want to put you first and above anyone else. I want to change and i want to make a difference this year. From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out. I want more of you...more and more of you. I know you are there all the time. I am aware of the number of times i chose to ignore you. Right now, i want to come back to you. I want you to lay back and watch me coming back to you because you deserves it! I am aware of the vision you have given me. I will work towards that goal and pray that you'll grant me with your strength and guide me throughout all these. Here in your presence, i am free.....
I love you Jesus....
Loves from your servant,
Viola
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