100th??

Hey World..

Oh wait..i didn't even realized that i have already hit my target. And that is to write at least 100 posts this year!! I MADE IT!! Oh my word...I MADE IT!!!!

Been wanting to update about my wonderful Christmas spent with awesome people :) Yet, i know i have something even more important to do. And that is to finish up my 2nd batch of Christmas cards :) I just want to be fair. If one of my friend received something from me, everyone ought to receive the same thing. It is tiring, but THIS IS ME :)

Well, my mood? Happy and yet not really happy. Why? I guess that's because school is starting soon and once again, i got to start adapting to the different timetable? What would my 3rd trimester be? My last trimester was awesome :) I am believing God for a better trimester. Can't wait to meet my friends. 2012 will be great!!!!!

PS: Can't wait for 2011 to end and yet it is a bit sad to say "Good bye" to year 2011. A lot of things happened during this year. Sad and happy moments...sighhhh

Good night World :)

关于我。。。。

Hey World.. i am too blessed that i really don't know how can i ever thank God for His endless blessings upon me :) Still, being blessed doesn't mean my journey will be very smooth. I do have a lot of emotions going on. Especially when i feel myself being left out or feeling uncomfortable... 

I love smiles :) All i ask is just a simple and sincere smile with no other meanings behind it. A smile can be fake at times. I love being joyous and cheerful and yet.. sometimes, it can't be helped that different situations will bring changes to a person's face.

我是个爱哭鬼。 不开心的事情总是很成功的把我弄哭。我是个心里脆弱的人，但也不至于是个软绵绵。我只是容易受伤吧了，因为我在做每件事的同时都把我所有的感情都加如进去。我很喜欢哭。因为我喜欢哭过后的感觉，就像雨过天晴那样 ：） 很美好！很舒服！我不喜欢把感情都闷在心里。

还记得在澳洲的时候，我只会把不开心的事都往心里吞。遇到什么都不肯跟别人分享，因为我无法相信任何人。我以为只要我什么都不说， “麻烦” 和 “问题” 都不会缠着我不放了。别人也不会嫌我烦！可是我错了，原以为很坚强的我，有一天，哭了！ 哭的当时，我闪躲到一旁去，不让别人发现。我想我这个“毛病” 是很难改掉的！除非我是当场爆哭的，那是两回事 ：），不然我都是喜欢一个人躲起来哭。最后，我还是被 “他” 发现了。 他只跟我说了一句，“你尽情的哭吧。会哭就表示你有在成长哦！” 当时的我， 非常感动。。。。。 谢谢你！！

为什么我会聊到 “哭” 呢？因为，我现在也非常想哭。我也不知道问题出在那里。也不知道自己到底做错了什么，我总是很在意自己和教友的关系。为什么别人可以相处的那么愉快而我却那么的疏远？我也不知道。。。有几会跟他们合作，我本来还算开心。可是，久而久知，我发现自己和他们没什么沟通。我就是会觉得不自在。跟别人就不会有这样的问题。我不想因为这样而辜负了上帝对我的期望。我只想把自己的本份做好。别人的脸色与我无关。反正无论我怎样做，人家都是不喜欢！对啦。。。我就是这么一个没自信的人！就现在。。只限现在这五分中，就让我好好的“发泄” 情绪吧！！ 我一定能做到的。。。因为我相信的人正是我的上帝！！

Okay...ranting time is over. I am so much happier now. Thanks to Machi Zhi Xian who reminded me that blog is a great place to rant :) Oh well.. despite this whole hour of emo-ness, i know my day is gonna be great :) My Lord is great ....

Overwhelmed :)

Hey people, i just somehow can't stop updating my blog without stressing on the word "blessing". God really loves me too much. I don't think i even deserve HIS blessings. Praise the Lord. I will let pictures to do their work :) There will be four blessings each according to pictures :) 

Blessing One -  Met up with my dear Selina Bear on Friday :) I miss her so much. Haven't been seeing her for quite a while. She is still the same... apart from the fact that she is getting prettier and sweeter. Good luck to all potential suitors out there. Instead of meeting up at Lavender, we decided to chill out at Starbucks this time :) We planned to hang out there for hours but finally decided to catch a movie instead. We watched "The Muppets". It was so touching that i cried.

PS: Although we had a good day, but we missed Hebe Ting a lot. For goodness sake, come back soon :) SHE is not complete without you..

 Blessing Two - My baby is finally back :) Honestly speaking, i don't like it whenever she is in KL. I felt as if i have no one to talk to whenever she is not in JB :( I am glad Machi Zhi Xian is back now. At least God knows that i don't like to be alone.

Anyway, we had a short hang out session together with Shermaine and Cedric :) I missed those times when we always hang out in Perth. I thought i've lost Shermaine's friendship due to some misunderstandings. We seldom contact ever since i came back to JB. Still, God is awesome. I was soooo surprise and happy when she told me she is in JB and wanted to meet up :) Hoping to catch up more with her soon.

 Blessing Three - We went caroling at Plaza Sentosa on Saturday. Yes, members from The Church went caroling together. Everything was good. I had a great big blessing from dearest Aunty Rosalind. She is always giving me surprise and MORE surprise. I felt so blessed. I enjoyed every bits of yesterday even though i always have this kinda thought that i can't blend in with some people. Still, it is not all about them. It is all about what my Lord wants me to do.

PS: I enjoyed my current bonding with the people at church. It is not as close as anything but it certainly wasn't as cold as before :) I still prefers to be covered by sunshine and smiles :) I am trying not to take people's coldness so personally. I can't expect everyone to treat me the way i desired and yet i don't want to  return them with similar coldness. Someone told me, the key to happiness is "BE YOURSELF". God created every single person with different personalities for a reason :)

Blessing Four - Hmm..you know what i wanna say. SUNDAY IS MY FAVORITE DAY :) I am always happy on Sundays. Oh well, not all the time. I have my emo moments too *big grins* Still, i know my God can take away all my gloomy feelings. Today is an awesome day for me. Like..really really awesome. Awesome presence of God in church, awesome fellowship, awesome cooperation while working for God, awesome time, i don't know how can i ever thank God for His never-ending blessings upon me. With that, i just wanna conclude that, i belong to God forever and ever. I shall always be your servant Lord :)

PS: When i say i have completely let go of you, i am lying because you are still my inspiration. When i say i still like you, i am also lying because i have long given up on you and i know it is impossible between us. Still, whenever being asked why my standard is so high, i'll always say "That's because i can't find anyone like him". I don't think that's true. I am just too used to saying his name whenever people tries to pair me up with someone else. All in all, i think i am using this as an excuse. I don't think my standard is high. I think i am afraid to let anyone into my heart. I am just not good in handling "love" affairs. A friend asked me "Do you still like him?" I did not answer her immediately as i thought i would. Instead, i paused for a moment and reluctantly forced myself to say "A bit". I always thought that if the right person appears, i would be able to forget him naturally...but it seems as if it is not true. My friend continues "I think the reason why you can't allow anyone to enter your heart is because you are not willing to get rid of his memories and everything. If only you can get rid of him completely, i am sure it would be easy for you to let someone else in". From another aspect, it is not that i am not willing to let go of my past. What if i fall for the wrong person again? What if i like that person but that person is not even interested in me? Won't it be like letting history repeat itself again? Well, i don't know....

Sorry for blabbering World :) It just flows out... guess i am sleepy. Praying for a great day tomorrow :) Good night World...

The Lucky Girl

Hey people, speaking of blessing, i do realized for my last two posts, i kept on emphasizing on blessings from God :) Oh yes, to sum it up, this post will be stressing on "blessings" again. I had a wonderful Sunday. I just loved being in the House of Lord. It is true that politics in church really gets on my nerves. So, my friends and even my closest kins are always asking me "Are you really happy?" or "Do you think it's worth to be in a place where you don't feel happy at all?" No doubt, i can feel sad for the whole day or even longer than that when someone ignores me in church. Still, if you ask me to choose between "To go" or "Not to go" to church, i will always give in to God in the end :) I know no matter how unhappy and unwilling i am, i will naturally feel happy as long as i am serving Him. This is my definition of happiness and being cheerful :)

 Reunion with my family - The String family. I repeat, The Violin is my Lover No 1. I always have strong affection towards this instrument and yet i blamed myself for not having that will power to hang on till the end. Oh well, one should not be hanging on to his/her past. MOVE ON!! As long as i have this determination to carry on, nothing is impossible. My dream will become realistic.

Well, after blabbering so much, i just wanna thank God for His supernatural blessing. I trade in my old violin exactly one year ago and bought a new one. Yet, i did not realize that my new violin is full of problems. It is not only bad but i have trouble pressing my strings. The sound of it was so bad that i can't even focus. The tutor advised me to send my violin for some repairing session in Singapore and she told me that the price would be very costly. I was stunned for i want to save up for my Super Junior's concert next year :(

Machi and i search High and Low for that particular shop and we found it. I was really excited to see so many violins. The greatest blessing to me from God for that day is that what i thought would cost a few hundreds turn out to be only 10 over bucks. Phewwww.... Not only do i have enough money to pay but i can even afford to buy a good quality tuner. God is good...

It has been so long since i last had a good chat with Machi. I had a superb long and great day with her. I am so glad i was born a girl. At least we have a lot of similar topics to blabber on. Blessings over blessings...i am overwhelmed with what He has done for me. I went for an interview and it was all good. Hopefully i can get it... because i really don't want my mum to pay for all my expenses anymore. I am trusting God for more.

PS: Received a call from aunt AJ around 8pm plus saying that Granny has passed on. Mummy didn't even call me. Trust me, i did not break down nor feel extremely sad because i always believe that God loves her more. Maybe this is a way to console myself or a way to encourage me to become stronger. When my grandpa and grandma died a few years back, i did not shed a single tear until i was being forced to. People known me as hard-hearted. I am not! Sometimes, passing on is a good thing for them because they don't have to endure any more physical pain like cancers, and diseases. Who wouldn't want them to live longer? Who would want our loved ones to leave us? The last thing i wanna see is my parent's sad faces and expressions. It is a blow to them. I can feel the pain even though i know i can control my emotions. What can i say? I don't even know how i should react now and i don't even know if i should cry or not to cry. I decided to stay strong because i know God has His own plans for everybody.

Lord, i am entrusting her into your mighty hands. Forgive her and let her rise as you call her name. I believe there will no longer be sorrows and pain... :)

Super blessed

Hello World, let's give Jesus a shout out of praise for all that He has done for me tonight :) Honestly speaking, i really want to show you guys the surprise Aunty Rosalind gave me, but i think i got to postponed it because i want to talk about our Christmas Outreach for tonight. I confessed that i wasn't well-prepared for this outreach and i did not have good expectation about it. Why? I had chickenpox for the past few weeks and i did not have chance to meet up with the group to discuss about it. Everything was last minute plan. Most importantly, i kept on forgetting about the synchronized prayer for the outreach everyday at 10pm. Look at that, i don't even dare to think about the crowd and the outcome for this outreach. Yet, my God is amazing!!!!

 Overflowing FOOD which can easily put on a few kilos if we were to finish everything. I really wanna thank everyone for contributing and not to be forgotten, my dearest Mummy who cooked pasta and prepared everything for us even though she wasn't feeling well. Yet, we were making so much noise :( I am so so so sorry. I promised i will help you to do more house chores.

Good food, good companion, crazy testimonies, great laughter, and not to be forgotten, HIS PRESENCE is what could be found in our "THE FIRST" outreach. Congratulation The First-izens :) You guys are awesome. We certainly rock the outreach tonight! It is not a joke.... i enjoyed spending time with you all even though i am not prepared.

Sharing is one of the hardest thing even though this is not the first time i preached. Maybe i am too used to having a lesson guide with me. And when i was asked to speak spontaneously, it is kinda challenging. Still,   i manage to do it :) It was really heart-warming to see people reciting the sinner's prayer after me. I am believing Him for more. Of course, i longed for more people to join us in the fight even though i know the route won't be easy. Come on, "REACH THE WORLD" is my title for today's preaching :) I am glad this story manage to touch the hearts of others...... even though this is not the first time i ever tell this story.

PS: No matter what kind of problems i will be facing, i know i will always have the power and strength to move on. Why? Just because i am aware of the faith that i have within me. I know my God will always save the day....

Blessed

Hi World, the princess is back (PS: Oh my word...it has been so long since i last used this phrase) For your information, people used to call me "Demon Princess". Oh well, misses the good old times. Thought of starting my blog post with something special instead of complaining and complaining :) The bell of "Freedom" is ringing soon. Oh yeahhhhhh... just a few more days. Yes, just give me 3 more days to finish this report and i am FREE for the next one month. HOLIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.....

Sunday is always my favorite day. Who said it wasn't? The Lord always blessed me with a really good day. After missing church for two weeks, it feels so good to be back :) I really loved the fact that i have a bunch of members who are always there to support me. Praise the Lord for it. I thought things would be slightly awkward, especially towards certain people.... but i know my God saved the day. Leader's meeting was awesome. Special thanks to our lovely pastor for treating us pizza until we were so sick of it. Most importantly, the sermon was AWESOME to the max. Who said our church is Stoppable? Come on, we are the Church and we are forever UNSTOPPABLE. No matter where i am, i will learn to be unstoppable too.. because God's nature is what should be in us.

Honestly speaking, God really blessed me a lot yesterday. I am sooooo glad i manage to spend some time with dear Aunty Rosalind and she gave me a surprise :) I shall keep that surprise for my next post. She is Such a sweet old lady, always so gracious. She might be the oldest member in our church but to me, she is as sweet as anything. I am really blessed to meet someone like her. She treated Wilson and i to a really fine french dinner. As much as i wanted to stay longer with her, i know i have to rush back to another "Blessed meeting" :) No worries, i shall visit her whenever i am back :)

PS: I really appreciate the fact that God always send the right people in to my life. I appreciate even more when "Trust" is in every friendship that i have. Thanks for trusting in me and sharing with me everything of yours. Even if it is just a small thing, but i appreciate it. You are really a good brother even though i always make fun of you. I scold you because i know you are able to take it... 

Hey, who say there isn't any PURE boy-girl friendship? Must there always be something in a boy-girl friendship? Can't it be just a pure and simple one? I'll prove you wrong because i do have a lot of good guy friends whom are merely "JUST FRIENDS" to me and nothing will ever happen between us.

Oops sorry sorry....i drifted too far away. I always feel agitated because whenever i am close to a guy friend, and then people around you started saying things behind like "You guys sure get together one!" or "Do you like him?" Full of craps! Yet, i proved them wrong everytime. From KL to Australia to Singapore and back to JB, all the time, people will happily paired me up with someone, very sure that we'll ended up being together. Yet, nothing ever happen... See? I told you, pure friendship does exist!

Alright, back to my "Blessed meeting". I really love Shannie. Awwwhhh..love her to the max. She knew i like "Tohoshinki" and basically a K-Pop fan. She managed to get two free ticket which worth $188 from her boss. Instead of giving it to her friend who is a hardcore fan of Tohoshinki, she asked me to go along with her instead. DOUBLE BLESSING!! Look at that...i have a God who hears and who knows what i need. I have a lot more testimonies to share about what my God has done for me but i shall keep it until the next leader's meeting :) I enjoyed the whole concert with Shannie. It was crazy and we were shouting all the way. Yet, it was touching............ i still loved the times when they still remain as 5 instead of 2. It is okay, i will always keep the faith and keep on believing. Why? I do that....just because i am a Cassopeia :)

You are too awesome Lord............You are giving me what i DON'T deserve. That makes me see you as a really merciful and gracious God :) I want to be just like you..

Symptoms of addiction

Hey people, i am counting days now. In less than one week's time, i am gonna be FREE :) Can't wait to meet up with friends and i can't wait for Christmas. It is TOMORROW D: I am having my LAW. Don't know why, but i had bad feelings about it. Still, i agreed with what Mel said, ask God and He will give me what i want. I am blessed today. Just when i need some serious advise, my ex-zone supervisor came to talk to me. He gave me some really good advise which again planted that "confidence" within myself. I really enjoyed talking to him :)

PS: Dear God, i am not gonna turn myself away from you. So please keep my faith strong and rekindle my flames of passion within me all the time.

 I always loved it when everyone can worship God together. It is the greatest feeling ever when you can feel the presence of God....so close. Like really, soooooooooo close to you. It is always good to worship Him and He deserves it. Today is really a blessed day for me. I can't help singing

"So blessed i can't contain it. So much i got to give it away...."

Why? I wasn't planning to go to TheEdge Conference even though i paid for it. Why? Because i don't like the awkwardness and being in a place where i don't know anyone. It is just so uncomfortable. And yet, i decided to attend the night rally which is really amazing. Pastor Rich Wilkerson JR. preached about the "Symptoms of addiction" which really hits me. I am glad i went. As our life goes on, we often forgot all about our first love. Why are we troubled over all those trials when God is ALWAYS with us?? We are the ones who forgot the existence of God. We were asked to fix our eyes on God and be an addict of God. An addict doesn't need anyone to help them to be high. We will get high ourselves. We don't need anybody to tell us to read our bible, pray and do devotion. We will do it without any reminders.

Our God is an awesome God. And yes, He is my strength :) After sorting out all these emotional stuffs, i realized, i haven't been very addictive to God for these past 2 weeks. He don't deserve all these. Thank You for pulling me back in such speed. I realized that immediately. Nope God.. i am not doubting You. I just don't like all these politics. Still, i know you have a way out...and i know You want to bring me higher from where i am now. I know i am addicted to You when i am willing to pay all price to fix all problems :) You are indeed an awesome Father, Provider and Deliverer. You are my friend, my listener, my lover and best companion. Without You, i wouldn't be who i am today :)

I love You Jesus <3

Mixed feelings...

Heyyyyy World, i have no idea why i am here when i am suppose to study. I am feeling really horrible and terrible now because i am worried. I really want to pass this stupid law. Ishhh.. stupid darn chickenpox which caused me to miss my mid term and now my 30% will have to be carried forward to my final. Even my lecturer also "shake head" at the difficulty of passing. Tell me, where can i find mood to go conference when my life outside conference is just so messy and complicated? Maybe it is very irresponsible of me to back out at the last minute. I don't care whether you are happy or not, but you just gotta understand that life still goes on outside Conference. Sigh...

 Nicole and myself. She was my classmate since last trimester but i only get to know her this trimester. What to say? She's fun to hang out with :) One smart girl!!Been seeing her a lot these few months and my whole university life has changed so much. When i think back, i am always alone during the last trimester. It is more on my own thoughts and doing things alone. Not to say i don't have friends, but everyone has their own life. Perhaps God hears me, and things has changed so much. I am beginning to love school and lessons :)

I still can't forget "Giddens' " smile during her wedding. It is so natural. Like really...so natural that he has succesfully caused me to be in tears. I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks the moment i saw that smile. In the first place, Giddens was cursing the bridegroom and planning how to make him look ugly during the wedding. But the minute he saw his "apple" walking in, he forgot all about the cursing and plans, and gave her the best smile ever. I like the way where he can be so open-minded about it.

我錯了。


如果你真的很喜歡一個女孩，

當她有人疼，有人愛，你會真心真意的祝福她。
永遠幸福，快樂 - 那些年，我們一起追的女孩
 
 
PS: There is only one question on my mind. Why aren't there anyone like Gidden during my primary school life, college life and even university life?? Life is always fair..... :)