Defeated Queen

Hello World....exams finally over :) I am happily enjoying my so-called short break now. Even though it is only less than one month, but it is better than nothing right? Mummy said i got to help her out in factory everyday :( Still, what can i say? It is better to help out than to do nothing right? Morever, they are my family. Helping them out is a MUST :) I love my family.

PS: Don't worry about my random title - Defeated Queen. My silent and loyal readers will notice that i used this title before 2 years back :) Why did i re-use it again? *Big grins* My mummy is watching it now and of course i re-watch it with her again. It was awesome. I certainly don't want to be a "Defeated Queen".

 Sometimes, a small kind and thoughtful action can warm my heart :) Dearest Aunty Rosalyn knows i love chocolate and she kept some for me even though i couldn't be there during their outreach :) I love her so much and i told her that. She is such a dear lady...reminds me of my own grandmother. Too bad i don't have this priviledge to fetch my grandmother around anymore :( I'll keep all our beautiful memories in my heart.

V for Viola? I love this bunch of people :) Rewinding to the time when i first attended this church. That was after i left Perth...i was trying so hard to fit in. I always think that i am not the type of person which people will like or accept. So i have to try extra hard in every situations...especially when i have to reach out to people now. Sometimes i just wish that everything would remain the way it is. I am enjoying and loving every single moments which God has blessed me with. Yet, sometimes, things do change. No matter how tough life is, God always remind me not to underestimate the confident that He planted in me. He wants me to know that He created me just the way i am. No matter how i despite myself (during emo seasons), i am still HIS creation :)

I am not emo. I just feel like writing. People, my Fujitsu is dead :( Uncle Keith helped me to reformat it and i lost all my documents, even all my beloved written stories. I realized i don't have another back up copy :( Guys, i am sooooo sorry. It would take a long time before i have this inspiration to rewrite all my stories again :(

PS: It is really time to let go. What's wrong with me? I honestly and truly don't have any feelings for him anymore. I am leading a brand new life now and i am happy with my current life. All that i have to say will forever remain in once upon that december. Just let things remain the way it is. And yet why is it so hard for me to let go? I guess it is just this mind trick of mine again. After treasuring it for quite a while and for the first time, trying to achieve something which forever won't be mine, i find it a pity to let go of it just like that. But why do i still want to keep it when i know it will bring back painful memories? I won't stalk you like before or try to find out more about you for God has filled that place. Enough of all that, i don't know if you will read this or not, but all i wanna say is that i just hope you will be able to find your happiness :) And that i'll give you my greatest blessing. Thank you for being an encourager to me. I used to feel so inferior and i know i can only stand in the midst while you are like the brightest star shining from afar. Now that i am standing on the same line as you, i know you are just part of my memories :) Thank you....i believe i can really move on now :) God is with me....

Really people, it is painful....but nothing is impossible. I know i can do it. If you think i look emo or what these few days, i am so so so sorry :)