Bored

Hey peeps,

I don't have any ideas what to write *big grins*..but because i wanna achieve 100 posts by this year, i HAVE to update constantly :)

Random thoughts - A lot of things happened recently. Big matters, Small matters...they are all driving me crazy. I can't help thinking so much. Noise. I loved being in a noisy condition. Why? Because it prevents me from thinking too much. Yet, i can be in a quiet condition. That's when i am reading or doing other stuffs...so that my mind won't wander off. After writing a long post of myself, i guess i sort of understand who i am already :) One word - COMPLICATED :P

There is one thing i should be proud of. And that is i ve destroyed the last memory (That little mini guitar) I wanted to do it long time ago but don't have enough courage to do so. Why? I scare i will regret. I scare i will cry. i scare i will break down. Yet, when i see it, i don't think i am happy either. So what can i do? I don't feel anything at the mention of his name. I just want to let go completely. What did i do? I threw it away. Yesh...i got rid of that last memory yesterday's night (On my way back to JB). I won't tell you where i dump it :P Thank you Lord. I truly felt so relief and peaceful after getting rid of it.

Something which brightens up my day. Finally SHE is willing to open up to me :) I thought i will never be able to touch her heart when Jeremy assigned her to me. 2 hours of heart to heart chatting on the phone has given me a deeper understanding of her. I am glad she is positive. I know it is not my strength but HIS. I can feel it. Praise the Lord. You showed me the evolution of Impossible to Possible.

Sometimes, i don't know what i am doing. Sometimes, i may doubt myself. Sometimes, i am confused. Sometimes, i may doubt You. Sometimes, i may feel discouraged. Sometimes, i may feel hurt. Sometimes, i lose confidence. Sometimes, i dislike myself. Sometimes, i am weak. Sometimes, i cannot feel You. Sometimes, i let my thoughts and feelings control me.....!All in all, i just wanna say, i want to come near You, Jesus. Let me encounter You.....