Speechless =.=!!!

Hey peeps,

Please stay away as far as possible. This is gonna be another *venting out* post. I am so sorry but i guess this is the only way to make me feel alright again.

Sometimes, i really don't know what i should do to ensure that i am doing something "RIGHT". I mean, i carried out orders. I am being obedient and do what i ought to do. It is just that in certain areas or circumstances, i really cannot follow blindly what i am being asked to do. I have my ways to handle all these and i felt peaceful after doing what i am suppose to do. And yet, i am being known as "Un-teachable" if i don't 100% follow orders.

Again i wanna say, sometimes, no feedbacks doesn't mean i don't know anything. There are things which i didn't say but doesn't mean i don't care. I know what i should say and what i shouldn't say. People trust me with stuffs and i do think i have the right to protect what they shared. It might sounds like gossip but we do know how to repent. I am not someone who could help others to decide where they wanna be or who they should be with. It is only God who could do that. PS: I am not indicating anybody. It is just one of my random thoughts because i really *dislike* politics. It just makes me feel super duper uncomfortable.

I am not even trying to compete or whatsoever. I don't need to clarify or make known to the whole World what i am doing and all. People can think whatever they want of me. If people can like me for who i am, they can *dislike* me for who i am too. I don't need people to understand me. I know what i am doing and i know i have a faithful someone to guide me all along the way. Someone asked me once, "Don't you feel tired at all? Don't you think you are a bit too strong and you needed a rest?" The fact is that, i cannot allow myself to be weak. Who will care? I have only ONE master whom i am serving.  What i am doing is just for the best of His kingdom. I need to step into people's World (without being one of them) to win them over. Please understand that all these cannot be done by forcing. It is the quality that matters...not the quantity. I cannot change a person's views or thoughts. I cannot help them to make decision. I cannot even ask them to do something which they do not want to do.

I am sorry that i sounded emo. In fact, i am just talking to myself. I think too much at times which makes me feel so bad and uncomfortable. That's why blog is my best friend :) 

All in all, i just wanna say, it is hard.....but i know things will be fine sooner or later. No worries peeps, the next post will be slightly happier. I had fun for the past two days. It feels so good to hang out with Murdochians. Good job, Raphy and Kel :D Oh well, I guess that little emotional part within me has risen again no matter how hard i tried to hide it.....