You are the E.V.E.R.L.A.S.T.I.N.G

You..will always be the same
Your love will never change
You are the Everlasting

I will put my trust in You
Forever to be true
You are the Everlasting.....

Herrowz World...i feel a need to update this post. To be honest, i was so sad and vexed for the whole day. Why? Because of assignments? Definitely NO! Did i ever mention before that Viola Ng will never feel stress over her work? Not to say that i am very productive but i always know that i will be able to get it done before due dates. So what i am stressing about? Yes...it is none other than P.E.O.P.L.E! Whenever i am stress, it always has something to do with people. Why are humans so complicated? Human is always one of my weaknesses. A fact which never fails to bring me down. I don't like to see people getting angry. I don't like people to have issues with me. So you can actually guess what happened right?

Well, i confessed that it is my fault and very irresponsible of me. For i know i should manage my time well instead of saying "Oh i need more time to do research and to absorb all these informations!" She is right!Due dates won't be waiting for me to get done with my research. It is afterall my own work and responsibility. No one can help me if i don't manage my time well. There goes the same for my family and the Lord's tasks for me. Instead of saying "I am busy and tired", why not i say "Well, let me just sacrifice my sleep or maybe eating time!" I can't sacrifice the Lord's tasks for me and i can't sacrifice the time i need to spend with my family. I don't even have time for them already so i can't possibly hurt them by saying i don't want to come back for the weekend. Even though i haven't been sleeping much but that few little hours of sleep is more than enough to produce something. I really don't like having conflicts with people. I know i am not the one to judge and i know i don't have the power to change a person's thoughts. People can like me for who i am and yet people can hate me for who i am too. Though it hurts,but what can i say? What can i do? I can only be humble and able to confess my sins :)

This case is tough. Not only was i being judged of being someone who is not me, but i was given a totally new impression which is 360 degree different from who i am now :( It hurts. It really does. But i don't want to dislike anyone since i know this is partially my fault. The Lord told me not to dislike anyone too and to be able to forgive and forget. For it is a group project and i should be ready anytime even though due date is still far away. I really don't need her to understand my situations. I don't want to make any excuses for myself. All i know is that i need to be responsible for this group and project. So the only thing i could do is to say "I am sorry!" And really repent over it. I have been thinking and mourning over this for one whole day. And i came up with a conclusion that it is best for me to stay humble. I don't want to bear any hard feelings within me and i also don't want to have any conflicts with anyone.

I prayed hard to God this whole day. Whenever i had chance to be alone, i'll just pray. Hoping and hoping that by faith, He'll guide me through all these. My heart sunk when i received her cold reply by saying that we should bring this matter to our lecturer. I mean it was me she is having problem with. We don't have to bring the rest in. Though we all knew there is something going on but i really don't want them to be involve. We can actually solve all these between us. "Lord, why have you forsaken me?Don't i deserve a chance to be forgiven?" This is the first thought that popped into my mind when i realized that my conversations with her are getting worst. I know the Lord has already forgave me the first time i seek for His forgiveness but you can't help having such thoughts when you are being put into that kind of situation. What did i do? I decided to let the holy spirit to do all the textings. Whatever came to my mind, i just typed it all out and sent. I was really losing hope while sending the final message by saying "Don't i deserve a chance to be forgiven?" I mean just because i have done something wrong, don't i deserve any chance to be forgiven? It is not like i did not confess my sin. I did! I even realized that i was in the wrong, and humbly, i apologized. I reached the state when i was so devastated. I began to lose hope and I didn't expect any miracles to happen already. I was figuring out how should i explain to my lecturer that i have got a lot of disciple-ing to do and also travelling in and out takes time but i kinda can imagine what his answers would be like. Just then, i received a reply from her saying that she is willing to END all these. Imagine that!! T.T!!!! The Lord is so good to me. I really appreciate what He has done for me. And i thank God for her understanding towards me. Even though i know things will never be the same again but i really believe our project will turns out well. Lord, please guide us through all these..............

You know what? ONE experience is MORE THAN ENOUGH for me. I don't want to repeat the same mistake again. Like NEVER. Whatever it takes to complete my part, i am willing to sacrifice all of it. I am so afraid of human beings right now. But i really appreciate the fact that she is willing to be honest with me and just shoot out everything. It is so much better to hear the truth than to be backstabbed from behind. I am glad i texted her to say "I am Sorry"...at least i feel the need to do so....

See that? Being humble and willing to confess is one of the best solution to everything. I learnt my lesson. I hope you guys won't face the same situation like i do. Advice to all - MANAGE YOUR TIME WELL. It is good to serve the Lord but your responsibility is very important too for we are the living testimony of Christ.