I am NOT ashamed of the gospel

Hey People, i am back to update again :) Finally i am done with the so-called Marketing Management mid semester paper which worth 15%. Haha, i know i have to love this subject because if i "dislike" it, i won't be able to score well. Yet, i don't like it because this exam falls on Sunday which caused me to be absence from the House of Lord. Still, i am glad that God blessed me with an exciting experience.

PS: I know God is everywhere. But i don't know why i always have this kinda mindset that I can only feel God in my church (I don't own a church but i mean the one i am planted in). That's why i was so upset when i knew i have to leave Perth and to come back here because to me, i always think i will lose God if i don't attend my regular church :) Therefore, i was quite upset when i knew my exam falls on Sunday and i know i will have to miss church. Yet, He proved me wrong. He brought me to a traditional church where i can really felt His presence upon me. He even spoke to me, to the answer which i have been searching for so long :) GOD IS AMAZING <3

 Time flies. Without realizing, We (The First) are done with our second meeting. Although we are small, but i always felt so blessed that we are united. It ain't easy to keep a group peaceful and united but we made it :) All glory goes to God. I am glad that God taught me several ways to lead a group while i was in Perth. Worship can strengthen our relationship with God.

And i know i am weak
I know i am unworthy
To call upon your name
But because of grace
Because of your mercy
I stand here unashamed

Remember last year, around this time, i don't have a close relationship with God. I can't even feel Him. All i know is that i can't let my leader and my zone supervisor down. They have been so good to me and now it is my timeto repay them :) To serve more and to say "yes" to whatever they wanted me to do. I remember that was my second time leading worship but this time it was different. There were so many people standing infront of me. Much a bigger crowd than a cell group.  And i chose "Unashamed" as one of my worship songs. That was the day when i cried the most all along my journey in Perth. The pain and sorrows rises within me and i was so touched by the love and grace God has showed me. What's more, i felt the love from the zone :) I mean like, you guys don't even know me but still willingly laid hands on me to pray for me <3 We sang the "Unashamed" over and over again and i realized even though i am unworthy but God still allows me to call upon His name. I am not ashamed of Him. *Dance along with the kids. I am not ashamed of the gospel * This is HIM, my heavenly Father from above. If He can do this to me, He can do it to you all as well for our God is fair and just.......

I couldn't ask for more. For those who knew me before, they will know that i am not one of those who will easily express my love to others. It is not as if i don't love them but i just can't express it. But because i ve experienced God's love for me, i know i have to carry out His commandment and to do everything with love. Yes, i love you all. I just pray that God will continue to keep this group bonded and strong. Not only "The First", but all the other groups as well. Basically everyone...because i love you all. Oh nooo...God loves you more <3

Till here, i am too full to shower. I guess i got to forgo my sleep again tonight because i just had so much to do :) I felt blessed to have this little space where i can just express all my feelings and thoughts here.... :)

L.O.S.T

In a place so lost, i really don't know who i can rely on except for You. Well, you can't blame me because afterall, i am still a human being living a human's life.

All i know is that, i really got to be strong. Even if i don't feel like doing it or no matter how tired and sick i am, but Your will be done. I will do it all the same.

Lately, i have been so sick and tired that a lot of my schedules and plans have been pushed backward. Which menas, i will be super busy and tired these few days. I am NOT going to campus today. Why? Because i don't want to be heard coughing and coughing and be a disturbance to the rest. Plus, i don't have any classes today except for self-study. Going back to JB later to meet Kris. So sad that i can't stay back because i am pretty sure The Queen will kill me if she knows i come back for this reason :)

* I know that you are for me. I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness.....*

I simply loved the song "You are for me" by Kari Jobe. I ve been watching a Father's Day video tagged by BB Kelly. I was so touched by it especially when the background song (You are for me) reminded me of my days in Perth.But the main reason why i cried is due to the fact that i know My King is not young anymore. I should be doing my part and to spend more time with them instead of running around. And hence, i can't imagine the day when he has to walk down the aisle with me and i have to say to him "Ready when you are". I know i am thinking too far but seriously, 10 years passes like swift. Without realizing, i would be 30.

*Huge Sigh* I miss you......(This is like a confession to the heavenly Father above) I just miss Your presence so much that all i want is for You to held me tightly in Your arms and tell me that everything's gonna be okay.

Okay...enough of that. Gotta get back to study before i start my journey. Everything's gonna be OKAY!!! I am sure of that :))

When the coast is clear....

Hello people, i am back to update again *evil laugh* I wish i am that hardworking in doing revision rather than blogging. But there are something which i really MUST share it here in case i forgets those precious moments. Know what, i was so super duper emo yesterday. Even though i tried to be cheerful during "The First" (That's what i named our connect group). FIRST connect group in Johor Jaya and Taman Molek man. Let's rock the World!! I realized i always think too much. I mean it can't be denied that all these happenings really affected my mood but it depends on how i handle my own emotions. If i chose to let it go, i wouldn't feel so uncomfortable and sad. But instead of letting go, i think and think of it. Obviously it doesn't makes me any better right? I guess i just needed someone to talk to. It is a very good and efficient way to heal my emotions. So yea...enough of that. I just wanna say the coast is clear for me now. I am happy again :)

 We had our FIRST CONNECT GROUP! I called it "The First". Thanks for those who came and so willingly take part in everything. Worship was awesome. Games was fun. Lesson's THE BOMB. Refreshment was fantastic! Fellowship was so cool. What's most important. We are filled with God's love and blessings. Even my house was filled with God's presence last night.

 It is not about the number of people who came but it is all about sharing His good news and saving souls. I am glad we are one big family. I would like to urge everyone to continue praying for JB and this connect group. Victory is on our side....XDD

Remember "THE FIRST". You guys made the best decision ever....!I believe we will grow. That's absolute!!!!

Things are fine
Things are fine
Things are fine..
Well...at least i chose to believe everything will be fine....
What now??

SMILE AND BE HAPPY <3 Love you all....

You are the E.V.E.R.L.A.S.T.I.N.G

You..will always be the same
Your love will never change
You are the Everlasting

I will put my trust in You
Forever to be true
You are the Everlasting.....

Herrowz World...i feel a need to update this post. To be honest, i was so sad and vexed for the whole day. Why? Because of assignments? Definitely NO! Did i ever mention before that Viola Ng will never feel stress over her work? Not to say that i am very productive but i always know that i will be able to get it done before due dates. So what i am stressing about? Yes...it is none other than P.E.O.P.L.E! Whenever i am stress, it always has something to do with people. Why are humans so complicated? Human is always one of my weaknesses. A fact which never fails to bring me down. I don't like to see people getting angry. I don't like people to have issues with me. So you can actually guess what happened right?

Well, i confessed that it is my fault and very irresponsible of me. For i know i should manage my time well instead of saying "Oh i need more time to do research and to absorb all these informations!" She is right!Due dates won't be waiting for me to get done with my research. It is afterall my own work and responsibility. No one can help me if i don't manage my time well. There goes the same for my family and the Lord's tasks for me. Instead of saying "I am busy and tired", why not i say "Well, let me just sacrifice my sleep or maybe eating time!" I can't sacrifice the Lord's tasks for me and i can't sacrifice the time i need to spend with my family. I don't even have time for them already so i can't possibly hurt them by saying i don't want to come back for the weekend. Even though i haven't been sleeping much but that few little hours of sleep is more than enough to produce something. I really don't like having conflicts with people. I know i am not the one to judge and i know i don't have the power to change a person's thoughts. People can like me for who i am and yet people can hate me for who i am too. Though it hurts,but what can i say? What can i do? I can only be humble and able to confess my sins :)

This case is tough. Not only was i being judged of being someone who is not me, but i was given a totally new impression which is 360 degree different from who i am now :( It hurts. It really does. But i don't want to dislike anyone since i know this is partially my fault. The Lord told me not to dislike anyone too and to be able to forgive and forget. For it is a group project and i should be ready anytime even though due date is still far away. I really don't need her to understand my situations. I don't want to make any excuses for myself. All i know is that i need to be responsible for this group and project. So the only thing i could do is to say "I am sorry!" And really repent over it. I have been thinking and mourning over this for one whole day. And i came up with a conclusion that it is best for me to stay humble. I don't want to bear any hard feelings within me and i also don't want to have any conflicts with anyone.

I prayed hard to God this whole day. Whenever i had chance to be alone, i'll just pray. Hoping and hoping that by faith, He'll guide me through all these. My heart sunk when i received her cold reply by saying that we should bring this matter to our lecturer. I mean it was me she is having problem with. We don't have to bring the rest in. Though we all knew there is something going on but i really don't want them to be involve. We can actually solve all these between us. "Lord, why have you forsaken me?Don't i deserve a chance to be forgiven?" This is the first thought that popped into my mind when i realized that my conversations with her are getting worst. I know the Lord has already forgave me the first time i seek for His forgiveness but you can't help having such thoughts when you are being put into that kind of situation. What did i do? I decided to let the holy spirit to do all the textings. Whatever came to my mind, i just typed it all out and sent. I was really losing hope while sending the final message by saying "Don't i deserve a chance to be forgiven?" I mean just because i have done something wrong, don't i deserve any chance to be forgiven? It is not like i did not confess my sin. I did! I even realized that i was in the wrong, and humbly, i apologized. I reached the state when i was so devastated. I began to lose hope and I didn't expect any miracles to happen already. I was figuring out how should i explain to my lecturer that i have got a lot of disciple-ing to do and also travelling in and out takes time but i kinda can imagine what his answers would be like. Just then, i received a reply from her saying that she is willing to END all these. Imagine that!! T.T!!!! The Lord is so good to me. I really appreciate what He has done for me. And i thank God for her understanding towards me. Even though i know things will never be the same again but i really believe our project will turns out well. Lord, please guide us through all these..............

You know what? ONE experience is MORE THAN ENOUGH for me. I don't want to repeat the same mistake again. Like NEVER. Whatever it takes to complete my part, i am willing to sacrifice all of it. I am so afraid of human beings right now. But i really appreciate the fact that she is willing to be honest with me and just shoot out everything. It is so much better to hear the truth than to be backstabbed from behind. I am glad i texted her to say "I am Sorry"...at least i feel the need to do so....

See that? Being humble and willing to confess is one of the best solution to everything. I learnt my lesson. I hope you guys won't face the same situation like i do. Advice to all - MANAGE YOUR TIME WELL. It is good to serve the Lord but your responsibility is very important too for we are the living testimony of Christ.

New Moon

Herrow World....had a great dinner?Anyway, forget about my title above. It has nothing to do with M.O.O.N!!It just so happened that the moon is superb round tonight...and i thought of New Moon *big grins* One word to describe myself currently..and that is TIRED. Honestly i didn't really sleep well. I always dozed off while i was in the middle of doing my assignments. The feeling was un-cool!I mean, who doesn't desire a good sleep? I won't collapse that soon because i know the joy of the Lord is my strength XD

 I wrote on my twitter that i love to watch babies sleeping. That's really true though but rest assured, i am NOT a paedophile. I just loved babies and kids. Look at my cute cousin. I have been baby-sitting him a lot. He is a real active baby. He is only 6 months and he wanted to stand up by himself. Amazing!! Creations of the Lord never fails to amaze me.

There are lots of stuffs for me to learn. Encounter has really does me good. It has given me a brand new lfie. Let's practice the fruits of the spirit together!!!

Father's Day is coming up soon. I was asked to prepare gifts and cards for "The Church" this Sunday. So while working on it, a thought strike me. I made cards for Earthly Daddies...but how about my heavenly Father from above? *Big smiles and grins*. So there you go....this is my card for Father Jesus. I won't show you the content though :P

Tired tired tired....but there is nothing i could do. What i need now is a cool bath and a real rest. Then i shall carry on my research. Awesome right? I love my life though. I have been trying to be humble. And i have to say, it really does makes me feel happier. I mean there are lots of things that ain't worth troubling and mourning for. So why make myself miserable? Look ahead and never once look back.

You are the light of the World......You are the light of my life.........

Rain down on me

Lord, would you rain down on me? I want to be free in Your presence. Encounter was good!! But there are lots of things which i need to repent. I am amazed by how You touched my heart. Lord, winning souls are important but winning my family over is even more important. So i need Your strength Lord and Your direction. I need You to bless me with unity and understanding between my mum and dad. This is where You want me to be......i just wanna say "I'll obey You" and "I trust in You".......

Lord i am amazed by YOU....

I wanna dedicate this post to my Heavenly Father from above...

Lord, i am amazed by You
Lord, i am amazed by You
Lord, I am amazed by You
How You love me............

Indeed, i was super duper emo last night during our first Leader's meeting. It is not that i don't enjoy the presence of the others. I enjoyed every bit of it. I guess all these guilty feelings + tiredness + a little stress of rushing after time + quietness = E.M.O Viola
For the first time, i don't feel like talking. All i want is just to quietly worship God, enjoying His presence, amaze and marvel at all His wonderful works in my life. I just wanna be with Him. He never fails to delight me XD You know what, i woke up feeling fine. I am all pumped up, all ready to be on the battle field again. This time..i am so gonna pay attention in class. 2 more weeks to my Marketing Management test. Bring it on...not even afraid of you.. :b

Thank you Lord... I love You <3   

Busy like a bee

Herrow people......this is the starting of another brand new week. Tests are coming up. Assignments due dates are getting close. What am i doing? I really have no idea. It seems as if 24 hours a day can never be enough for me. I need MORE TIME. Well, serve me right i surpose for i did not manage my time well. I always spend most of time doing unnecessary stuffs. For example, where am i now? Maybe i should just stop blogging and get start with my assignments and revision =.=!!!

 Something to share. A picture of "We are ONE". God certainly has so much more for us....!Continue to keep the faith and strive for the more =)

The A.L.P.H.A gang. Though the course has already ended but the promise will always be there. The bond between us will never break =) Go alphaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......

Hmm...someone used to tell me that i ought to always insert pictures whenever i wanna kick start with a brand new post. According to that person, posts with pictures are more attractive :P Anyway, my purpose here is merely to prove that my blog is still alive. I miss my homie and bedroom. Although i am just a bridge away from home, but still, Home is always the best. I really felt guilty for not spending time with Mummy :( When i am free, she'll be busy or when she is free, i am always not around. Don't really want all these to happen but what can i do? I mean i have my own stuffs to handle and yet...i really don't know how to split myself into two or three. Sometimes, i wish Mummy has more children. Yet, i know this is a very selfish thought of me :( Raising me up is already a very hard task for her. Imagine if she were to have two or three more Viola running around in the house, shouting at one another....how can she take it?

I get to hang out with the sweet + loving couple= Li xuan and Kon yesterday *big grins* I am always happy everytime i see the two of them together because i am their C.U.P.I.D <3 All those joyful stories and new updates!Seeing them argued over silly stuffs makes me wanna smile. !Whooooo..i missed my foundation studies life in KL.  It is not about the place but You guys are the reason why i treasure all the memories. Thanks for being awesome <3

Been thinking a lot recently. It is good to be busy. Even though i often grumble and complaint over the fact that i am always having to rush after time and it seems as if i can never catch up with time no matter how fast i run after it. But secretly, i find myself actually enjoying every bits of my busy life. Busy-ness prevents my mind from wondering off to some forbidden memories. But there are times when my mind is free from busy-ness, that's when i started to think a lot. I mean.........i can't help it. I don't want to. But quietness always makes me weak. I felt as if i needed someone by my side....but why? I can pretty much be independent and not rely on people. This is what i called -Mind Trick. In the end, i just wanna say "I don't need that "You" by my side. I don't need that "You" in my life". I hope i am not lying to myself......