Why do i care?......Because i DO!!

Hi World, as much i want to stay away from the computer, but i can't. I have to finish up all the internet quota before i fly back home. Hopefully i can settle all my stuffs before i leave Perth =) Things has changed a lot within these few days. I don't know, i really don't know. No need to bother about me people, for i am typing nonsense again.



Sometimes, i really want to be myself but why do i always care about what people think of me? Since when i care about what people think? I know words are easier to say than done. I can say that i am only living for myself and for God. So i don't have to care about anything at all. But...sometimes, it is really hard to avoid all these. It is like, you still care about how people think of yourself and you mind what people said about you. Why can't i just do it without having to think from so many different aspects? It is not like i can't take critism. I can. Just that sometimes, these sensitiveness can really brings down my confidence and makes me discouraged. I know i always have complicated thoughts. I am always afraid that people will dislike me or can't accept me for who i am. I always fail to do what i want because of the thoughts i had. People always say, "Sometimes you don't have to trouble yourself with all these thoughts. Just do it!!" Oh ya, by the way people, i am not emo. Just some random thoughts. Why can't i put things in a simple way? People, please save me! Teach me a way to make my thoughts simple again. Teach me a way to chase that devil out of my mind, so that i won't worry for all unnecessary stuffs. I know, the only key to unlock all these is the key of "Simple". What i can do is just to make my thoughts simple and try not to be so sensitive. Sometimes, i always believe in my own predictions that i almost forgot that what i predict might not be equivalent to what other people think. Recently, i have a lot of uncertainties towards some decision which i have to make. It could have been so much simpler as i only got to say "Yes" and "No". But because i am afraid of the outcome, and that i am afraid that people around me will get affected and stuffs like that, and thus, i find it hard to make my decision. See? This is what i mean. Sometimes i really hate myself for all these. Why is it so hard to be who i am?

To my dearest dearest Kelly BB, i don't know what i can say to make you feel better. For i don't want to be that kind of person who is good at saying and consoling and yet, i don't set a good example myself. It is like, i am teaching you methods on "How not to be emo" and yet, i am always feeling emo myself. I want us to be happy and cheerful like before. To be the crazy us who don't mind shouting out loud in front of so many people, running around in the shopping mall, sitting by the streetside, doing crazy stuffs, crying and laughing together and etc. We grew up so much eversince we stepped into the World of Leo. I believe everything happens for a reason. There must be a reason for us to meet and there must be a reason for us to lead the life of who we are today. I know that you are facing lots of problems and you can't overcome your stress. Always know what you are doing okay? It really breaks my heart to see my BB in this state =( You know what, you make me realize that all these while, i am always worrying for nothing. The things that always bring me down is NOTHING. You need help BB. Always remember that you are beautiful both inside and out. Do not care about what people think. Just because people don't appreciate us, it doesn't mean that we are not worthy to be love again. At least you did try to fight for it. It is not within our strength to control what people think. I hope you'll stand up again. Whenever you are tired, just stop and look behind, and you'll find me walking behind you. Love can be both hurtful and beautiful at the same time. BB, love is not really that bad. It is just that we haven't meet the right guy. That's all i can say. Don't lose faith in love. Right now, from this very minute, i don't want to let my thoughts to conquer my emotions again. I want freedom and happiness back. And what's more...i want my confident back!! BB, YOU HAVE TO DO THE SAME!! YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND WORTHY. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. Thanks for being there for me whenever i needed you. And now, i'll do the same for you. Stand up once again. Hwaiting...

You troubles and complicated thoughts, please stay away from me! Jesus taught me not to hate or dislike anything or anyone. So troubles, i am not hating you. In fact, sometimes i am glad that you exist and thus, it makes me grow! Thanks for stopping by my life....=)) but i am not gonna let anyone of you to bring me down again. Especially YOU,COMPLICATED THOUGHTS. My life would be so much easier if i know how to influence you with simple thoughts. Life is meant to be simple..........just link everything with God and the word of "simple", things would be so much better.........