Homecoming!!!

Hello World, in less than 24 hours time, i will be back to my Home Sweet Home. How i miss everything back there and yet i don't wanna leave Perth =( Complicated huh?

Anyway, there are many things which i wanna share but i guess it would take me a while. So please allow me to retype this blog post again when i reach home =))) To cut the story short, i love the life in Perth and i ve learnt a lot from the F.A.M.I.L.Y that i came to know. God is indeed awesome to me =))

Will see you soon ya My girls in JB =)) Can't wait to fly off....

PS: Sorry if i scare you off but i guess this is the only way to express myself. I did struggle to make this decision. I do want to give up but in the end, i chose not to let myself regret over it. I am so so so sorry. Do not feel pressurized or anything....just be yourself =))

I love Miracle......=D

Hello People, I am back. Having a slight sorethroat and fever now due to consuming too much NANDOS. I seriously not gonna touch any of the peri peri chips anymore (well, at least not for the timebeing). Well, i promised Machi Zhi Xian that i will approve her creativeness. Well done Machi for inventing such a creative name for me -Viola Berry Huang (although i don't like the sound of it). Special thanks to you Machi! But in future, please please please don't change my name =P
Murdoch service has finally came to an end for Year 2010. I can't believe that i am actually lucky enough to be part of the team and to witness the first Murdoch Live. Without God, we can never achieve all these. Through trials and blessings, God is the only one we can turn ourselves to. Alright, i do admit that sometimes i still feel out of place in this team due to my super lacked of confident. But i do consider them as my F.A.M.I.L.Y. You'll never know how grateful i am to be saved and all. Thank you guys for being there for me during my emo nemo time and during the time when i was so devastated over my decision to get baptized. You guys are great and i do enjoy serving alongside with you. I believe that all of us can grow faithfully with HIM each day. Continue to keep up the hard work as we aimed for a better 2011. HWAITING....

PS: Our theme for the finale is "Attack of the Nerds" or was i wrong? Anyway, we did have fun =)) Goody goody job =))

I met up with Datuk and Datin Tan that day together with Shermaine and Theodore. As we are too free, i thought of "WRITING" on their walls via BlackBerry. Towards the end, we ended up spamming each others wall. Obviously i lost because they are four against one. Sorry people who has to suffer because of our spammings. It was fun XD. Should try it again next time!! Thanks for spamming guys...

After serving for weeks, i finally manage to lay back to enjoy the sermon today. It was great. Even though i was listening to the same sermon, but you'll have different views towards it. God is indeed awesome. Things didn't started off well today but i experienced a full miracle from God today. Thank you Jesus =) And thank you guys for brushing up my confident =D I am not going write down what happened today. But i'll share it if you ask me to. Truely, God will always watch over us despite of the big mess we made. Here we are, always complaining of the things that happens in our life. We are not satisfied. We are not happy. We felt as if God is abandoning us the minute bad things occur. Instead of blaming God and asking "Why me?", we should always remember that all that happens to us is working for our good.

Miracles do happen!! ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH!! It could be your turn one day =)

Time to buck up and to fight for the last 2 papers. Wish me lucks...=D

Why do i care?......Because i DO!!

Hi World, as much i want to stay away from the computer, but i can't. I have to finish up all the internet quota before i fly back home. Hopefully i can settle all my stuffs before i leave Perth =) Things has changed a lot within these few days. I don't know, i really don't know. No need to bother about me people, for i am typing nonsense again.



Sometimes, i really want to be myself but why do i always care about what people think of me? Since when i care about what people think? I know words are easier to say than done. I can say that i am only living for myself and for God. So i don't have to care about anything at all. But...sometimes, it is really hard to avoid all these. It is like, you still care about how people think of yourself and you mind what people said about you. Why can't i just do it without having to think from so many different aspects? It is not like i can't take critism. I can. Just that sometimes, these sensitiveness can really brings down my confidence and makes me discouraged. I know i always have complicated thoughts. I am always afraid that people will dislike me or can't accept me for who i am. I always fail to do what i want because of the thoughts i had. People always say, "Sometimes you don't have to trouble yourself with all these thoughts. Just do it!!" Oh ya, by the way people, i am not emo. Just some random thoughts. Why can't i put things in a simple way? People, please save me! Teach me a way to make my thoughts simple again. Teach me a way to chase that devil out of my mind, so that i won't worry for all unnecessary stuffs. I know, the only key to unlock all these is the key of "Simple". What i can do is just to make my thoughts simple and try not to be so sensitive. Sometimes, i always believe in my own predictions that i almost forgot that what i predict might not be equivalent to what other people think. Recently, i have a lot of uncertainties towards some decision which i have to make. It could have been so much simpler as i only got to say "Yes" and "No". But because i am afraid of the outcome, and that i am afraid that people around me will get affected and stuffs like that, and thus, i find it hard to make my decision. See? This is what i mean. Sometimes i really hate myself for all these. Why is it so hard to be who i am?

To my dearest dearest Kelly BB, i don't know what i can say to make you feel better. For i don't want to be that kind of person who is good at saying and consoling and yet, i don't set a good example myself. It is like, i am teaching you methods on "How not to be emo" and yet, i am always feeling emo myself. I want us to be happy and cheerful like before. To be the crazy us who don't mind shouting out loud in front of so many people, running around in the shopping mall, sitting by the streetside, doing crazy stuffs, crying and laughing together and etc. We grew up so much eversince we stepped into the World of Leo. I believe everything happens for a reason. There must be a reason for us to meet and there must be a reason for us to lead the life of who we are today. I know that you are facing lots of problems and you can't overcome your stress. Always know what you are doing okay? It really breaks my heart to see my BB in this state =( You know what, you make me realize that all these while, i am always worrying for nothing. The things that always bring me down is NOTHING. You need help BB. Always remember that you are beautiful both inside and out. Do not care about what people think. Just because people don't appreciate us, it doesn't mean that we are not worthy to be love again. At least you did try to fight for it. It is not within our strength to control what people think. I hope you'll stand up again. Whenever you are tired, just stop and look behind, and you'll find me walking behind you. Love can be both hurtful and beautiful at the same time. BB, love is not really that bad. It is just that we haven't meet the right guy. That's all i can say. Don't lose faith in love. Right now, from this very minute, i don't want to let my thoughts to conquer my emotions again. I want freedom and happiness back. And what's more...i want my confident back!! BB, YOU HAVE TO DO THE SAME!! YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND WORTHY. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. Thanks for being there for me whenever i needed you. And now, i'll do the same for you. Stand up once again. Hwaiting...

You troubles and complicated thoughts, please stay away from me! Jesus taught me not to hate or dislike anything or anyone. So troubles, i am not hating you. In fact, sometimes i am glad that you exist and thus, it makes me grow! Thanks for stopping by my life....=)) but i am not gonna let anyone of you to bring me down again. Especially YOU,COMPLICATED THOUGHTS. My life would be so much easier if i know how to influence you with simple thoughts. Life is meant to be simple..........just link everything with God and the word of "simple", things would be so much better.........

Unpredictable...

Hi folks, i am not emo. Hmm, maybe i am but not RIGHT at the moment. Am i confusing you guys? Well, then let it be. I am determined to be the usual crazy me again. The girl who wouldn't care of what people thinks of her. The girl who will always pursue her dreams. Wait, that's not me. I don't always pursue what i want. At least not ALL of them. Then i'll mourn over it. It is like "Crying over spilt milk". I can't stand it anymore. I don't want to be emo all the time. I don't want to be so low confident. At least let me be like before, during the time when i was so into "The World of Leo".

Taken at Jus Burger. I was happy to see toys. People told me i really should stop buying toys. It is like a waste of money. But but but.....toys are fun =)) I don't mind bringing Cute Bear Bear or Mumu the deer everywhere i go. My most current favourite toy is the Samurai Sword which i took it out from the Yellow Van when Alph drove me out to collect our ZPH signboards around our campus. It was fun bringing that sword to Utopia and scare some of the workers and customers there =)) I am crazy i know. People said i should grow up but i am already a grown up girl. Everyone can play with toys. It doesn't matter how old or how young you are...as long as you loved them =))

Sometimes, we really can't predict what will happen in the next second. Life is full of uncertainties. Sometimes, we may complain about it or even feel that life is unfair. You know, always entrust all your problems to God and always believe that he has his plans for you. Have faith that HE has his reasons for all trials and blessings in your life. Sometimes, it is best not to question or doubt Him when you are facing uncertainties. Sometimes, it is better not to know anything at all. The less you know, the better of you are. Believe in Him. ....He'll handle the rest =)) When i say surrender everything to God, i really mean EVERYTHING. Sometimes i doubt Him when it comes to "love". I asked him why do i have to be so lack of confident and a nobody(someone who is not worthy or good enough). Just when i thought i can never find my confident and courage back again, He saved me. Thank God for sending people to tell me that i am not hopeless. And i realize we are all special because everyone is of different personality. To Him, we are all equal. So do not be afraid to be who you are. Shine out your personality and be proud of who you are. Always believe that we are valuable because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God will provide us with an answer to the question that we have been seeking and asking =)

I do believe in Him. When we think that things will turn out badly, it turned out to be likewise.

Okay, i think i am writing nonsenses again. Forgive me if this post doesn't make sense. My sleeping mode is on. Good night World...I wonder when will i start doing my revision =P

Emo-ing season

Hello World, The Princess is in one of her emo mood again. I really don't know why. I must either be too slack today or i slept too much. I should be studying. I know i should because i am so much behind time for all my lectures and stuffs. And yet, *sigh* we can't control our emotions right? Things always turn out unexpectedly. This minute you can laugh like crazy, the next minute you can mourn over something. Don't know why, but i just feel like typing out this blog post in Chinese. I know i am not good in Chinese but forgive me, dearest folks. I will try my best to use my very advanced Chinese skill to type out this post =))
We attacked this poor whiteboard during one of our combined cell. See? Murdoch people are very talented too. Go all the way!!!While watching (Hotaru no Hikari) today, this phrase caught my attention --“请好好珍惜好不容易坠入爱河的自己！”Let me use chinese.........

我不知道我最近在想什么。我只知道我把自己搞得非常情緖低若。因为太得空，所以想太多？ 最近特别想家， 也许是不想面对考试吧！我知道我这次的成绩肯定比上个学期还要差。我也不知道自己在干嘛！！我讨厌这样的自己， 一点都不像我！那个想要创造一个属于自己的“新世界”的我跑到哪去了？？？我只觉得梦想离我越来越谣远！我不要！！！！！我要实现我的梦想。你们都给我回来！！！

本来觉得对“他”只是纯纯的欣赏，因为我跟他本来就不熟，也称不上朋友。但，我没预料到，单纯的欣赏也会变成“喜欢”。虽然这并不是什么大坏事，但，这也代表着我“痛苦的开始”。因为害怕，因为不敢主动，因为怕被拒绝，所以把自己弄得很不开心。我很失败对吧？只敢单方面的寻找关于他的东东，一心想要更了解他。不过，真的很难！！我又不知道他在想什么。也不知道他到底有没有目标。通过文字是没办法深入了解的。人还是需要沟通才能了解对方的。我也曾想过要放弃。有人对我说，“你根本就不像我所认识的Viola。我所认识的你是不会那么轻易说放弃的，因为这两个字根本就不在你的字典里面”。 我真的不明白我何时变得那么胆小。也许是“他”害的。 因为“他”，我变得很不像我。因为想了解“他”，所以我每天都不知如何是好。我需要神的领导。神啊，请给我指导。请告诉我这条路该怎么走。我该继续走下去吗？所以我就说嘛，喜欢一个人很痛苦，尤其是你跟他不熟。 可能他根本就不知道你的存在也说不定。可能他已经有喜欢的人也说不定。不行啦！我不能每天都往坏的方面想。我以前的“自信心”都不见了！有个人告诉我 “幸福是要自己去争取的！你一定要拿出勇气来踏出第一步”。 我想这也是我唯一能做的。等到我哪天充满勇气时，我一定不会让机会白白流走。要好好把握机会！我不能再害怕下去了。

在每个人的生命中，要遇见自己喜欢的人是很难的。可能你所喜欢的只是表面上的他/她。要真心接受他/她的全部并不容易。也许你们会觉得不可思意，我怎么可能会喜欢上一个我完全不了解的人。不过，这就是事实！感情是可以透过很多方面来发展的。也会在不知觉的情况下慢慢延生。我必需把事情想得单纯一点。只是交个朋友吧了，不用害怕！要好好珍惜好不容易坠入爱河的自己。我要对那个“他”说，“如果你真的有了心意的对像，我会自动放弃并且祝福你。但，如果你没有，请不要阻止我。但，如果缘分不站在我们这一边的话，我要对你说，谢谢你让我再一次体会到单恋人的滋味。我曾经花了三年的时间才能完完全全的放下一个人。曾经的“他”和现的“你”的感觉很相似。两个人都是我在不熟的情况下，从单纯欣赏转变成纯纯的喜欢。谢谢你！” 虽然很谣远，但我还是愿意赌一赌。我相信总有一天，上帝会献给我一个美丽的安排 =）

我的“新世界”，我不会放弃追求它的。每一次看“One Piece” 的时候，Luffy和他的伙伴是我最大的动力。我很想拥有像他们那样帅气的格性。尤其是路飞那就算死也不会放弃的格性在不知不觉中，已成了我人生中最大的目标。我一定要创造属于我自己的“新世界”。我的人生已开始慢慢转变了。 你看见了吗？ 我不满足，我想要更多。。。。努力向前冲吧。。。

Whoaa..finally i am done. Composing a post in chinese can take several hours. I must think twice when i have the urge to compose my post in chinese again. It can't be helped. My chinese is bad.........=(

Long Talk......

Hello World, just a quick update this time, to show that i am still alive. Life has been awesome for me recently. I finally decided to be a hardworking student and to make library as my second home from now onwards till the day when i am set free =) I was so nervous this morning for i did not prepare myself for the oral exam. Thank you God for guiding me through this. Just a simple word of "よくできました" from Sachi Sensei can really motivates me to study even harder.　ありがとう、さちせんせい！らいねんの２Aもゆっくりがんばります。I love Japanese....=))
We had our cell appreciation last Friday. I was being a bit emotional but oh well, life goes on. I will miss this cell a lot. Thanks a lot cellies and our awesome cell leader. It has been a pleasure being in the same cell as you guys =))

Talking, talking, and talking. This is what we all love to do. I had a super long talk with someone. And apparently, that person makes me realized the importance and need for me to open my eyes and to look out for people who needs help. At times, i may be over dependent. Just because i know there are people out there who will always be there whenever i needed their help or when i am feeling lost. And hence, i am so used to receiving concerns and care from others that i half forgotten that, it is time for me to step out and to do the same for the others. There are so many people out there who needed help just like i do. And i think i have received enough blessings and help from others. Million of thanks to the dear "you" for trusting in me and giving me the realization that i can actually do something more instead of hiding at one corner to watch what people does. A simple and short sentence of "I can only talk to you" makes me realize that, the problem that has been haunting me from time to time is actually NOTHING. I guess it is time for me to move on. Good bye, my troubles!! It is time for me to leave you behind. Sometimes, i thanked my troubles for existing for it can makes me grow =) Thank you for teaching me this wonderful lesson.

Do i have enough courage to come and approach you? Well, i don't know. I guess, i am still as timid as usual......

A Beautiful Exchange..

I was browsing through folders to folders to find some really nice and relevant pictures for this title of mine but in the end, i was captured by these food pictures. Useless right? Always food food food and nothing else. Well, Kelly BB told me i must at least insert one or two picture in a post to make it more presentable.
Natalie and Shermaine are always craving for pasta. I only took them to try out once at Fremantle and they were addicted to it. And so, we ordered far more than we expected. The result is, we were so sick of it. Lesson learnt = Never be greedy. God always taught us not to be greedy and only to have our fair share. There are so many people out there who are starving due to the lack of food supply and here we are, eating like a glutton and sometimes, we wasted food too. This is no good =( Must change...

Back to my title - A Beautiful Exchange. I don't know what is going on my mind recently but i am like a pregnant lady with different emotions. This minute, i can laugh like mad, and the next minute, i can be super sad. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think i am crazy. By right i should be studying for exams, for i have not been working hard for this semester and hence, i don't expect a good result. But what on earth am i doing? I can stare at the same facebook profile for one whole day or imagining something hurtful and bad will happen to me. Oh man, i think i need to get a life. This has been going on for quite a while. Sometimes when i am sensible enough to think, i will feel that all these are pointless and why should i waste my time thinking of these useless stuffs. And yet, sometimes, i let the devils to take charge of my thoughts. I guess sometimes, we, as a human, tends to think in such a complicated way that it makes things harder for us. I admit i am that kind of person. I am always worrying for unnecessary stuffs. For instance, you feel like getting to know that person as friend. And yet, you don't have the courage to approach him or her, afraid that he or she might reject you for who you are. See? Complicated isn't it? What we can do is just to approach that person through whatever medium we have to get touch with that person. Whether is through msn or facebook, just drop that person a message and your job is done.

Then we will say "What if that person don't want to be my friend?" or "I am scare or shy" and etc. It is not for us to control or to judge a person's thought. As long as we ve done our part, the rest is not within our control already. In this century, we shouldn't put things in such a complicated way. Just a word of "SIMPLE" will do. Let me give you another scenario. For example, if i like someone, but i don't have the courage to approach him. The only thing i can do is just to try to find more about him and to feel emo all day long. You know he is not the kind of guy who will reject your friendship. Yet, you are afraid. What should i do? Isn't it silly? You see, since i already know that he is friendly, and won't reject my friendship, then why am i still troubling over these? Someone told me, "You already have a mindset telling you that, he is friendly and good and etc. So obviously he won't reject your friendship. Just approach him!! But if he did reject, means he is not as good as you think and you can just give up on this friend". Just be natural and keep it SIMPLE. As long as i have done my part, the rest is not my job anymore =))) We always let our own imagination and thoughts to rule our mind. We often mind how other people will think and react of us. But in reality, just keep it simple. Just do what you want. So what if he is a boy or if she is a girl? How and what other people think is not for us to decide =)

How true is that!!You see, all these while, i ve been worrying for nothing. Why do i have to make things so complicated? If we look back to our past, imagine us as a young child in school, meeting new people. How simple is it to just held out your hand to the other person and say "Hello, my name is Viola. Can i be your friend?" So why am i so afraid to make new friends now? Everything on this Earth is fearfully and wonderfully created by God. To HIM, we are all equal under the cross. We are no better or worst than any of our brothers and sisters. I've learnt my lesson for today =)) Have you? I am off to meet new friends and this time, i'll make sure i won't miss the chance. Who cares if i am being rejected? As long as i ve done my part...........=))