I found my way back home

Hello World, i am back. Finally i decided to blog after neglecting my blog for super long. Funny right? Remember i used to promise you, my friends, that i will update frequently even when i am in Perth. Yes i did, for the first few weeks. You know why? Because i thought i will be someone without friends and most importantly, after realizing how boring Perth is (And yet, i love Perth the minute i set my foot on it) But surprisingly, i don't find this place boring at all right after i started my uni life. I thanked Lord for all the things that happened in my life and the way he blessed me. When i think back, i used to complaint a lot aye, envied of people's life, always thinking my life is not perfect enough and i don't know much about World outside. I have thought of becoming bad. I meant not exactly bad but trying hard to fit in people's life. But it is just so hard. I am not daring enough to step into a club and neither do i have the courage to pick up smoking. Come on, i don't even have the courage to drive. My friends complaint that i can't drink and that i will go crazy and high after taking the first sip. And yet, all my friends were so sociable. I am always being emotional, thinking and hoping to end my life but never have the guts to even pick up a knife or to even cut myself with blades. Come to think of it, i guess this is the way God tries to signal to me that i should love my life and appreciate what i ve got. I accepted him in my life somewhere around year 2007 when HE solved the problem between me and Puan Mahani. Anyway, i am not a good student =)
My super super awesome cell. These are the people who are always there for me whenever i needed them and of course my dearest girlies. I couldn't mention all of them here for it takes like forever to recall what they ve done to impact my life. I thought being a Christian is just to believe in HIM and that's all i can do. Oh ya..and pray. So naive right? I didn't even know that God has been calling me all these while and i ignored his call. I didn't even know that there is so much to do and learn. God open his door for me when i came to Perth and that is when i found my faith back. I don't think i even deserve all these as i really did swayed away from him for more than 2 years. You see, i didn't even attend church. I only attended it for less than 10 times (including the time when i served in National Service) and yet i can't believe i have the cheek to tell people i am a Christian. Bible? I have one but what is the use of proclaiming a bible when i don't even understand any of the verses nor the teachings in it. And what is the use of having a bible when all i do is just to chuck it beside my bed and let it be covered with dust? God is patient with me. He forgives me despite all the sins i have commited throughout my life and during the time when i dare to call myself a Christian but without learning his words. He showed me that life is not easy without his words. I am glad God still sees the potential left in me and he decided to show me the way back home =)

Flowers and cards of encouragement from my awesome family =) Indeed, it is not easy to write or even to read out our own living testimony because there is so much to tell and yet so hard to compose it on a piece of paper. It is a major sin if you ve done something that causes people to stumble. I hope my testimony won't stumble anyone. I know i am old enough to make my own decision but still i want to respect my parent's decision. As i said, i don't need them to give me consent of what i wanted to do, but all i want is just their blessings towards the direction and route which i am heading to. I know my situation will take longer term but i believe, as long as i surrender myself to him, i know he will handle the rest. Just like how he calls out to me, got me saved and bring me back to where i belong. All the while i thought the whole family is against my decision but now, after having a talk with my uncle whom i respect the most, i realized he actually support my decision as long as i know what i am doing. He asked me to try to understand the true meaning behind my mum's over-reacted words. I guess i am like a patient that needs to be heal immediately. There are many sides of me that needs immediate healing. I am bad-tempered, impatient, gets jealous easily, was once a hypocrite, jumping to conclusion without even bother to hear the exact explaination, and etc. Hey, who can be all perfect without any flaws within them? It is hard to change but i believe as long as i have faith in him, i can. The minute he calls out to me, i know i am willing to leave behind my past and to follow him for the rest of my life. I am glad he show me the way back home and people, I FOUND MY WAY BACK HOME.

This is my testimony but it is from a more personal inner description =))))) Will update soon...