Mama I love you....

Hello World...i thought of not coming back to this blog for this whole week BUT...i just received a terrible news from my dearest BB Kelly.She told me "MOTHER'S DAY" is this sunday. Oh my god...what the heck am i doing?I thought i still have time to think of what to write or even decorate the card. Oh no.....i am such an unfilial daughter. Well, in order to make up for it, i got to come to this little world of mine again. And, i must compose a longer post as compared to last year's post.First of all, "Gambatte kudasai" to myself. I know i can do it =)

Mother's Day?What is the first thought that comes into your mind when you heard of the word "Mother's Day"?It is a common celebration for all the mommy's in the World. (Ps: No. It is a most wonderful celebration for all Mommies!) What did you do on this day? Did you just have a quick dinner with your mommy or just shove her a present or card? How many of us will actually appreciate this day?Do we know the real meaning of Mother's Day? Do we actually appreciate this special occasion? What is the role of mother in the whole family? Is she somebody who has to handle all house chores? Someone who has to serve you? YES...you, the kids!! Is she our servant? Don't ever dare to think about it. Mommies are the most wonderful soul in the world. They are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Mother's are amazing, for they were made up by emotions and love. They were priceless for they gave birth to us. They showed us love and care plus, they handle all our stuffs.


So right now people, let me tell you about my Mummy!!My mum is amazing!!Why?Because she gave birth to me. Yes...i felt so lucky and happy to be born by such noble mummy. My mummy is a tough woman. Working and doing house chores are her favourite. She don't mind sleeping in that montrous factory of her's. Once, she told me she thought of moving to her factory. Well, i totally disagree with that. She don't mind working for the whole week (that's when we are lack of workers)...yes..even on sundays. My mummy is not someone who wants to party all day long. I don't even see her hanging out with her friends. The only thing she care for is her career. Yes, that so-called montrous factory. My mummy has got the so-called "hygienic syndrome". She can't bear her house to be dirty even though it is not even dirty. She can't bear to leave her house unswept for "maximum" two days. I used put on my sulky face the minute she asked me to sweep the floor. I don't like doing house chores but yet, sometimes, i felt so ashamed of myself and i will do it eventually. People said she don't need a maid for she is staying alone in that house but i seriously do think my mummy needed one. Since she is working, so leave those house chores to the maid. Looking back, we haven't got a maid for quite a while. So mummy is the one who handles the whole house. No matter how tired she is, she is determine to keep her house spick and span. That's ridiculous...for i don't enjoy doing house chores, but she seems to love it. And often, i caught her humming while working. I guess, she really enjoyed doing all these. She used to love shopping but then, recently, she said money are hard to earn. And she said we should be thrifty. Once a while, she tend to buy something as a reward to herself. I don't mind her buying shoes, bags, clothes and all. I think she deserved it. So Mummy, just spend all your money on something that you like. Doll up yourself. Even if she wear a simple T-Shirt, i still think she is very pretty. Yes...that's her- My Mummy. Let's move on to more....

Christmas 2009

Did i ever mention that i am the only child?Yes...basically, i am the only child in my family but in reality, i actually have four elder brothers and one elder sister. My dad has two wives (what's so wrong about that?). I never felt that my life is unfair. In fact, i am glad to be born in this family. Why?I have all my close relatives and friends with me plus my wonderful parent's. I was never alone. NEVER!!Well..actually i did complain about my life before. Who doesn't?I used to grumble and complaint that i do not have a brother or sister. I ALWAYS WANTED A BROTHER OR SISTER. I don't mind if they are older than me or younger me. I just wanted someone who can keep me accompany so that i won't feel so lonely and alone. I used to confront my parent's...asking why they wanna give birth to me since they don't intend to give me any siblings. I was so alone and lonely during my childhood age. What is the use of having so many toys, soft toys and dolls if there is no one there who can talk to me?And hence, i tend to talk to myself creating numerous stories. Pretending i was a mummy carrying my daughter (dolls), pretending to be a teacher teaching my students (my soft toys), pretending i was a cook handling my restaurant and etc. I still talk to my soft toys now even though i am a Uni Student. Recalling back, i was really creative then. But...i still wanted someone to play with. I used to blame my parent's for the abortions. I want them to adopt a baby for me. My parent's told me i was the luckiest girl. I never really get what they meant until now...!!And i know i never will. So i tend to put all my love and passion that i saved to all my cousins and young kids outside. I used to think what is the use of having so much money if i have to be alone in the house with no one to talk to? I believe a large family can be as warm and merry even without money. It is the strong bond i envied..and not the supply of money. This is the thing they have which i don't HAVE in my life. But i know i can't blame mummy for that. That's because daddy is not always by her side and that she have to raise me up all by herself. If i were to have 2 or 3 more younger siblings running about, i bet it will be too tough for a woman. =(


Despite the fact that i looked ugly here, my mummy looks great!!=)

Mama I Love You, Mama I Care....
Mama I love You, Mama My friend,
You're my friend...

That was so long long time ago. I finally decided to accept my destiny to be the "ONLY CHILD" in my family. Aiks....lonely as i was but i'll grow up isn't it? During primary school, every young kids are so pure and innocent and they don't even care how many siblings you have. But as i entered secondary school, i was stupid enough to mind what people said. I don't even dare to admit that i was the only child for i don't like hearing comments like " Oh my god, you belong to the rich people group. You don't even know how poor we are. Plus you are the only child....etc etc etc". I am afraid that i might have no friends. So i tend to keep my background "Private and Confidential". I think only my true true friends knows the real story of me. I never explain or tell my story to people unless they really wants to know. Yes....i was given a set of key when i was in primary school. Why?Because my mum is so busy working that there won't be anyone else in the house to unlock the door for me. I have to wait for her to come back often. Always remember myself as a kid, waiting at the door to look out for the purple nissan or my dad's Pajero. But their time is not always constant. Sometimes, she came home in the evening but sometimes, she came home late at night. I don't blame her for working too hard. I really don't!!I don't mind being left alone in the house. For this is how i learnt to be independent!!But i was too young to understand the reason why she works all day long. I always thought she is so in love with her career. I never even realized that my school uniform is so much different from the rest. My neighbours all were studying in government school and i was the only one who get to enter a private school.

As time goes by, i tend to grow up too with my own circle of friends.From primary school mates till secondary school mates.......i'll tell her everything. I never kept anything from her. She'll never never controls me over whatever decision i made unless it was risky. Only child i was, but my mummy never spoilt me. She hates lying. She'll canned me terribly if she knows i lied. Never underestimate her ways of canning. The more you run, the more you'll get!!We used to have like 3 to 4 canning stick in my house. It is everywhere....!!=)

As i am always alone in the house, i tend to pick up a habit "wanting to stay in the house always". Whenever she ask me to go out, i will always decline. So i hadn't been spending much time with mummy during that age. I know it was bad of me but i hate to step outside of my house for even one second. I was given the best education!!I can remember seeing Mummy feeling so happy and proud over my UPSR results. I thought everything would remain the same for i enjoyed going to school. I was proved wrong for secondary school is totally different from primary school. Students there are definitely less friendly (even though i attended an all girls school). Still, i manage to find my own place in that school. Thanks to LEO club. I am able to open myself up. I tend to go out often, joined in numerous activities, stay up late at night, and all. I was an active member. My mummy was surprised to see the sudden change in me. She reminded me not to neglect my studies but i did. I remembered i came home late one night when i was a Form 3 student, due to some Leo club function. I came home at around 2am in the morning. Mummy called me more than 5 times to ask where i was...and her tone was like turning from soft to irritate and finally flared up. I didn't know she was worried. I even think she controls me too much...not giving me any freedom. She even threatened me to quit LEO..but i did not listen to her. I finally found my place at school....and i will NEVER give up. I climbed so high to get that post......and i can see that mummy and daddy were both solemn when i was finally the "President of Leo Club". They expected all these....but knew they could do nothing to change my decision. I am sorry to say....but Leo Club really affects my studies. But this is where i found my friends and courage and all. It was priceless to me. I was proud to be a LEO. I remember her asking me to study account and yet, i refused to. I even asked her to get me into Science class. I thought i would be able to handle both my studies and Leo well. But......things are not as easy as you imagined it would be. Sorry mummy ..if my results makes you disappointed. This is not the end of my life yet....i can still work hard for my future!! The back view of my parent's. I love the back view of mummy. From behind, i can see that she is a tough and superb career woman. Well..at least to me, she is!!

Even when i was about to enter college, mummy still have to settle everything for me. I wanted to go overseas but she don't allow me. I was quite sore and angry but i always wanted to experience life outside. My aunt told me to give in to her...but sorry, i did not!!I never thought of giving in to her and this makes her flare up even more. My mum used to say that, physically, i inherit nothing from her but what i inherited fully from her are her characters- bad tempered, don't want to lose and all. I am determined to be a strong girl. When i was serving in the camp (National Service), she spend a lot of money buying me food and all. She settled everything for me. I should have felt bad for spending so much......

I thought i will be strong when the day comes for me to leave my home and to go up to KL. I know my life is about to change. I never even cried when she left. But when night time comes, i was feeling so alone and i can't believe i actually did cry. Never had i realized i actually miss my home so much. I am sorry that i always make you worried. She is a superb mummy. I only called to tell her about the terrible condition at my new hostel, and during the following week, she drive up to KL to settle all my things again. I know i should have study really hard when i was in college but i make things worst by getting a boyfriend and being in a relationship. Luckily all these does not affect my results. I can see mummy was feeling pleased with my results after all. I used to think that i'll never be able to experience outside but she surprised me one day by saying "I think you should study in Australia right after your foundation!" I was amazed.

So, that's where i am now...sitting here and typing out all these. She actually wanted me to take up business but i am so into mass communication. She wanted me to go Singapore but i wanted to come overseas. I have my way at last!!!But the feeling is not what i expected it would be. I am not as happy as i imagined. I am not a good daughter.I always make her sad and worry....and yet i am worried about her at times too..now that i am so far away. Sweet family

I know mummy doesn't want me to come so far. I knew it!!Although she said it is because of the qualification and standard and all..but i know she don't want me to leave her. I started realizing it when i was a college student. Since then, i always wanted to follow her wherever she goes. I want her to take me along whenever she wants to go shopping or even hanging out with our neighbours. I JUST want to follow and to take her along with me. We had endless topics to blabber about. I told her everything...well at least....i know what i can tell and what i can't tell. *winks* I make sure she knows all my friends.

Life is so unpredictable. I really don't know what will happen next!!So ...what i really wanted to do is to finish my course as soon as possible and try my very best not to let her worry about me. I am fine here...honestly. She gave me the best care, the best education, and the best in everything. She really fulfilled her task to be a good mummy. She is responsible in everything she does and as well as her concern and care towards me. She used to say she has nothing to give me..but what she can give me is "education". I remember myself still wanting to sleep with mummy even though i was 14. That's because daddy 0nly stay with us once a week. So i get to sleep with mummy with full of soft toys on the bed. Even if daddy comes, i will still pull a mattress into their room and was determine to sleep there.....

I was an idiot in maths. Calculations and sums can really put me to sleep. I studied really really hard just to pass my maths. Mummy knows it all. She said to me "Just do your best. Even if you fail, it is ok. Mummy knows you have work really hard for it!" Look at that!!She is the best mum isn't it? I was really crying at that moment!!!Not because i can fail in my maths of course but the things she said.

Dad and Mum...before they leave Perth....

As i grow older, i realized i had everything!!Yes...EVERYTHING!Family, love, friends and all. The best is...i have the BEST MUMMY ever. Despite the fact that i have to stay alone often....but i never felt that i was an unlucky child. I still love my family and life. I know my condition is rather complicated but who cares? I still love this family!And yes...the most important people in my life......

There is something which i never say, not because i don't care. Despite the fact that i am now 2437.89 miles away from you, but my soul and spirit will always be in the family!!!

To Mummy dearest:-

Sorry if i ever ever hurt you with my words!Sorry if i ever ever shouted at you. You know i have harsh temper. In future, just don't mind whatever i said. Sorry..because i chose to be a Christian in the end. I know you always wanted me to be a buddhist but sorry....i believe in CHRIST!! Sorry if i had mood swings sometimes, that's because i faces some problems which i don't wanna tell. I know you don't want me to be alone (you knew that i wanted to break up with him) but this is ME!!I know being single can be lonely sometimes but i chose to be single until i met the right person. Sorry for everything. Sorry if i ever make you sad. Sorry for making you sad during the time when i gotten the disease -BULIMIA. I know i ate like normal but in reality, i go straight to the toilet to vomit right after eating. SOrry for making you worry. I know you have been working hard to keep me at school. I know i shouldn't have spend so much. I felt so bad whenever i see you forking out a lum sum of money to pay for my things (clothes, accessories, school fees and all). I know you are feeling lonely at times. So i hope you can treat yourself better by not working too hard. There are things happening in the factory. I knew it all. I wanted to be there to share all your ups and downs. I want to help you out by minimizing your problems. I will do all the house chores for you i promised. I won't nag or grumble anymore. Please stay healthy !!Do take care of your health.Treat yourself better by hanging out with Aunty Ching and Aunty Swee Fern. Get Barry to stay with you sometimes. And most importantly, get yourself a maid. Don't overworked!!Stop working if you don't feel like working. Even if you tell me one day that you do not have enough financial to support me, i don't mind. What's the big deal? I can just quit school!!I am determine to go back right after i graduated from Murdoch. I don't wanna change your life for i know you won't want to leave your siblings and friends behind. I am determine to change my life and not yours. Don't worry Mummy. I'll be a good girl i promised. Don't worry about my studies at all. I know what i am doing!!You are a good mum and i am FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT!!I Just wanna say " I love you Mummy"....


To all the Mummy's in the world....i just wanna wish all of you a very "Happy Mother's Day"!!People, do appreciate your mummy!!They are the best soul ever.....=) Love them just like i love my own Mummy.