PS: Tender soft is a tissue paper brand. No special than "Royal Gold" of course but this is the only brand that i will use. People have been asking me why as this is not a special brand and it is definitely no better than any other brands. Why??Of course there must be a reason for me to do so. I think i have mentioned it before but nevermind, in order to satisfy your curiousity, i will say it again. Remember about a guy whom i admire in my tuition class? Yes...way back during my high school time!That's when i was rushing in and out from Omega Tuition Centre (a famous tuition centre where most JB students will go). Yea, he was the main role in my diary of "Secretly Loving You". Okay, to cut the story short, i was facing some problems on that day and i cried. What else can make me cry? LEO of course....!He was sitting behind me and normally he would have disturb me or make fun of me. But on that day, he was extremely quiet and solemn. He just passed me a packet of "Tender Soft" tissue paper and asked my buddy not to disturb or question me. I was so touched at that moment that i didn't know what to say. Silly of me right? But eversince that day, i only used one type of tissue paper. Yes...Tender Soft!!
Anyway, i'll stop crapping. What will i do? I love the lyrics. Here it goes:-
I'm not really sure of the words to say
If only you knew that i feel this way
I wanna give my heart to you
Show me the way that you want me to
This post will be about my journey before i officially joined the World of Christ. Why? Because HE changes my life. I still remembered the days when i was still a free thinker. I used to ask my mummy "Mummy Mummy, why don't we join the christian? We can go to church every week!" My mummy always said i am crazy for she never thought of becoming a Christian. I never really sat down to sort out why would i have such thoughts. Maybe because i was being looked after by a Christian family for a while when i was a baby. Yes, my Godma Lucy No 1. For your information, i have two godma. Both their names' are Lucy. I'll tell you more about my Godma someday =)!!So yea...my mummy said i was being influenced by that Christian Family. I don't know why, but since young, i fancied all types of cross. I love the sight of church. You know those churches in olden days? A house-like building with a big cross above the it? Yea, i love it!!I always wonder what is in there. Will there be people singing? To me, church is a sign of "Peace". I can still remember the first time i stepped into a church. I was like "Wow". My mind was so peaceful and relaxed. Listening to their songs can set my tears rolling at times. I am a sinner anyway...
I was being possessed when i was 10 years old. I was sick for one whole month and have consulted more than ten doctors. People told her i was being possessed. My mummy was so worried that she went to temple. And yea..believe it or not, i was really being possessed. I don't know the reason why that lady who held 3 joysticks on her hand will rush up and down, in and out of my house, shouting and screaming at some languages which i don't even understand. All i know is that i was being asked to drink something. Gradually i got better!!Since then, my mummy became a Buddhist. Still, i wanted to be a Christian so i never wanted to touch those joysticks and any of the praying materials. Honestly, i don't like the sight of it. It was both eerie and scary. I just don't like it. Okay, i don't want to comment too much about it. I just assumed that i have no fate with these kind of things.
I don't know what makes me have the urge to become a Christian. Anyway, i had a talk with my Machi Zhi Xian for i know she will understand my feelings. She is superb holy. She was so glad that i believed in Christ so she brought me to her church. That was the first time ever i stepped into a church. Everything was so great and the feelings are so much different from temples. My machi tried to convert me into a christian but without forcing. She gave me a little booklet asking me to read the prayer ONLY when i have decided to accept Lord Jesus into my life. I remembered myself having to sneak out to church without mummy knowing. I have to create numerous excuses for i was so afraid that she might stop me from going. I finally decided to tell her the truth right after i ve got my first cross. Mummy was open-minded but daddy was not. All my relatives were trying to psycho me with the disadvantages of being a Christian. I don't deny that i actually have the thought of giving up and not becoming a Christian. First is because of mummy. Second, is because i don't want to be a Christian who don't go to church every week.
Many things occurs during that period. To simplify it, the affair between my Chemistry teacher and i in the year 2007 makes me becomes a Christian officially. I was so devastated at that moment when i finally caught sight of the little booklet my Machi gave me. I followed every instructions in that booklet and hence, i became a Christian. But things don't always go your way. I was being challenged by all obstacles and problems. *sigh* Relationship problems and everything.
I always had this cross around my neck. Why? Because it represented HIM. Yes, my mighty Lord. I only know the real meaning of Christ when i came to Perth. At here, i get to attend church every week. At least, i know God is with me. HE gave me strength when i was feeling so down. HE is my comfort to everything. Even though i have to give up on something, but i know i have made the right decision. Thank you Lord for everything. Right now, i am "Serving to Lead". I serve because i want to..... !!I believe this is what i learnt throughout the days when i was still a "Leo". With love, we serve. I guess it is the same thing for everyone. =) I am glad i am a Christian after all.
This is the end of my testimony. I know it is rather brief but i really don't know how to put it in words. Anyway....you know what, i realized that sometimes, we don't need a reason for "something". When you are craving for something, that's it. You don't need a reason for that. Hmm..i'll define more on that someday. My mind is totally blank right now. Lack of sleep i guess. I will end this post with a note dedicate to my dearest BB.
PS: BB...i used to complain why i was born as a girl. I hate being a girl for a girl is always the one who gets hurt. I was being hurt too by boys. This is why i chopped of my long hair. But i never thought of being a transexual. JUST BE YOURSELF. You know BB, you don't have to dress up or doll up yourself just to impress or to grab boys attention. Why?We don't have to. For we are fearfully and wondefully created by God. WE ARE WHO WE ARE!!Prove to yourself that you can be a Shero. I know you are craving for someone to be there for you. Who doesn't? Despite whatever decision you make, i know you are still my purest and most natural BB ever. Remember that i will always love you....and i will be there for you just like you are always there for me. Remember....dare to dream, dare to accept!!!Your dreams will come true....=)
Good Night World....
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