Not around :)

I was browsing through You Tube earlier on and I feel like listening to music covers made by Kelvin :) He is really talented and I love all his songs. 

They music rhythm of "Not Around" might sounds cheery and bubbly but when you take a good look at the lyrics, it is heart wrenching. Take a look at the lyrics and you'll know why. It came straight from him and he even made the music :)

NOT AROUND LYRICS

I try but I just can't
I remember the first time
I saw your face into your eyes
There's something
About the way you look

As time passed
I'm missing you
Said the love we shared is real
Fall to my knees make it right again
I'll do everything to be with you

Cus Baby
Now you can't get out
When Baby
Now she's not around

You took my heart and you played along
You wanted more so I gave all
My heart is cruising on an empty
I know I'm lost in time

Maybe love's never there
Maybe it's foolish to know
Girl I've been waiting long
For another chance
For another day
To make it brand new from the start

Cus Baby
Girl you know what it's all about
You've fallen into a million pieces
And now you can't get out
When Baby
Every time you tear my heart out
The girl I used to know my love
But now she's not around

I love this music cover because I was involve in it too... together with both Raphy and Kelvin. For the first time I realized being a media student is not easy. It took lots of effort and courage to be a media person. Looking at how we forced Kelvin to pluck up his courage and to roam around Orchard central has taught me - "If you want to achieve something, first, turn your attention to God and you will definitely succeed!" I don't have to try to be successful, but with God around, I AM ALREADY SUCCESSFUL :)  

You are for me

Late night = late thoughts. I know it is unfair to Father Lord because nasty emotions never fail to cause me to spend less time in prayers. It is funny though, because in times like this, I should be confessing all my burdens to Him. 

My beloved aunts who has been with me since I was a baby :) Thanks for watching me grow and loving me whole-heartedly. At times, I just wish I were a kid so that I can tag along with the adults all the time without having to think of anything.

I am helpless Lord. I am weak Lord. This feeling is just killing me. Lord, if this is really what You intend and want, please guide me. I can't do it on my own. Really I can't!! Yet, at this moment, there is always a song to rescue me. All thanks to "You are for me" by Kari Jobe.

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses
I know that you have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

Sometimes I just had to remind myself that "God, You are for me". No matter how down and how torn I am, You will never forsake me in my weaknesses. Father, I am not giving up because I trust in You :)

.....

Dearest God,

You know me from the inside out. Surely You can spot that feeling of insecure deep down inside. Please assure me that everything is gonna be alright. This is Your work and I have no power to change my destiny. You either just take it away or leave it alone. I know my heart couldn't withstand it for long. I just feel soooooo insecure and evil inside. And I don't intend to hide it. Save me O'Lord and revive me from this storm. I can't stand feeling like this anymore....

Sincerely,
Me

Late thoughts

I am old again!!One year older and yet, I don't think I am mature enough yet. I dislike the feeling of insecure though I am trying my best to subdue it. I won't let it to affect my making of "Tomorrow".

Blessed to have everyone around me :) I really have so much to update. Guess I got to start making plans now. Don't want to forget every single bits of memories in my life. Dee has been really sweet to write me a Birthday post XD I love you Dee and I want you to know that I am missing each and every single one of you daily.

Praying for a greater day tomorrow :)

Ding dong....

My life seems to have lose all its passion :( This trimester is gonna be a tough one. But I am not going to be the first to admit defeat. If anyone has to lose, it will be the devil himself :P Father Lord, please ensure that my journey will be a smooth one. Please please and please...

Kelnice and myself :) She is forever complaining that we stay so near and yet, wanting to see even my shadow is hard, let alone meeting me face to face. Actually she is exaggerating, I am always so near yet so far :P (PS: I know she won't be reading this, so I am free to write whatever I like *winks* )

Father Lord, You know my desires and needs. Provide them all if I ever missed out any of them. You know I can be slightly forgetful in prayers :) Bless us all......I love you Lord...

Random thoughts - Waiting

Fell asleep last night without knowing. Oh gosh, since when I can start having the intention to NOT sleep with my laptop in front of me? As usual, I was quite tired this morning but it is all worthy. God is good!! You answered my prayer before my aunty went in for her exam :) She passed!! Hurray!

Nicole and I at Pastamania on the first day of school :) That's before all those unhappy encounters took place :P Anyway, while sitting in school waiting for Melissa, I had this random thought. W.A.I.T.I.N.G!

I really dislike waiting unless it is for a very good reason. Anything can happen while you wait. The result might not be what you want or it might become worse. It is long and enduring (Which constantly reminds me of the flooding phrase Nicole made) I guess for me, I dislike waiting because I'll feel insecure. Patience? Maybe it covers a small percentage of it. But compare to being impatient, I dislike the feeling of insecure more. My definition of "Waiting" could be of anything. For instance, waiting for results, waiting for someone, waiting for an answer, or waiting for anything... and etc. I mean, I can't predict the outcomes. And I am born with this genetic of having no confident in whatever I am waiting for. The mixtures of various emotions like worry, insecure, anxious, anxiety, fears, and unexpectedly, the gentleness to show concern all wraps around me and I can hardly breathe (True story) Therefore, I seriously have no idea how on Earth could anyone waited for years for the same thing? How did they even do that? Hmm....

So what now? I don't want to wait anymore T.T!! Thousands of apologies if I seems to sound harsh... but waiting could be painful and tiring.

PS: I am not indicating anyone. It is just one of my random thoughts. I am happily waiting for Mel right now because I am early :)

Headache

I was having a massive headache ever since my first campaign management's lecture. It lasted for quite a while until just now. I AM OFFICIALLY FREE FROM  HEADACHE. Praise the Lord :)

For some reasons, I felt that this semester is not gonna be easy :( What does it mean? It simply means I can't take things lightly anymore. It is a do or die module. Oh my goshhhh... There are lots of funny, weird and stupid things going on too which altogether contributes to this so-not-looking-forward trimester of mine.

I have lots of stuffs to update...but as usual, let me divide them by various posts :) Stay tuned..

My Partner In Crimes :)

Since this is a perfect timing to be emo and reminiscing, I shall continue writing :) I realized I never mention much about this guy in my blog. Or perhaps I did but I forgot. Since I talked to him for quite a bit recently, so he deserves a post from me :) 

 This guy - Alain Leong!!!! I dislike him to the core when I first met him around July 2010.  Actually I don't dislike him. I just finds him quiet and not click with me. You know this kinda situation when you are click with everyone except one particular person. In this case, I am the lucky one whom he doesn't click with. I just don't want to have anything to do with him and neither does he. I think of him as arrogant, proud, nasty, "zhuai" and high status. And he described me with exactly the same words (PS: It was kinda funny when we confessed to each other about it later on. He said I finally willing to come down to celebrities height and meet him face to face. Rubbish XD )

All thanks to Sean (Matthew), we got closer. That's when he first started opening up his heart to me. We shared endlessly and stick to each other closely. He was my partner in a lot of things. If only he stays in JB, I believe we would still be the best partner in crimes :) I realized he is fun to hang out with. It is a joyful feeling to know that people trust you with their stuffs. In this case, he shares a lot with me and likewise, me too. I wasn't prepared to trust anyone just then but I decided to give it a try. We created a lot of memories. I was the first person to sit on his car when he just got it. We always had mid night talk after cell group. I was the the first person in Perth to see him cried. We served as ushers in church. We went for meals. We went to his korean friends house. We always create stupid jokes. We hang out in Utopia, Maccas and loves Fremantle. We enjoyed going to the city and messed around in the LV shop. We enjoyed spraying perfumes endlessly in Myers. CK Eternity, Lady Million, Versace, Christian Dior, and Chanel is our favorite!! He always bombed me with, "Eh Vi, you are using a perfume called "Chance" but I don't see you giving anybody a chance at all!". We had endless memories :) He witnessed the first miracle that happened to me in my life and he helps me a lot with the WC's thingy :)

Apart from all the memories and fun, the scariest thing is we could read each other's thoughts. I could never hide anything from him because he knows everything that is on my mind. Even when we are not with each other, he could actually know my expressions and thoughts. Likewise, he always gets angry because  I could do the same too. Read his thoughts and knows everything that is on his mind. He always wanna slap me because we are too alike and he gets annoyed.

His message for me :) Even though we got stirred and disturbed a lot by the Murdoch family and friends, but we know there is really nothing between us. It is just friendship :) I came back to JB and he flew back to Kuching, but we still share the same thoughts and memories. Hoping to see him again one day for he is one special friend that I met from Perth. I am glad I did not let my feeling of "dislike" towards him to grow. If not, I wouldn't have met such a great friend who is willing to share all my burdens, listening to my rantings, and knew all my secrets :)

Thank God for friends :) If I can, I would want to write a post for each and every single one of them :)

HIstorical meeting :)

I've been abandoning my blog for sometime. Sorry Bloggie :( Initially, I had a lot to update but I just don't feel like coming here. Yet, I mustn't give up halfway. Come on, it is my life I am recording and not someone else. So I shouldn't be lazy :) 

 We had our connect group meeting again last Friday. For some reason, the atmosphere was serious and calm all the way. Maybe because our pastor was there? Still, I am glad he drops by. At least Alv won't become the one and only guy there :) I merely just name the title "Historical". To be honest, there is nothing significant and historical about it. Perhaps it was historical because it was raining and I was shouting my lungs out? Or perhaps like what Alv said, "The day Viola made nuggets and it doesn't suck".  I don't know.

I want every day to be historical even if it is just the slightest thing. Whether it is happy, sad, bitter or sweet, it is still my day :)

My pretty Selina Bear :) According to her, we are “越老越像". She is a good catch. To all the potential suitors out there, you need to get through me first before you can officially go after her :)

I have a lot more to update but I guess I shall update several posts again... :)

A place called here....

Haven't met Selina Bear for so long and I am just so glad that she's still the same (apart from getting prettier). Too bad, Hebe Ting is forever unavailable but don't worry, we still love you <3

After hanging out at our one and only Lavender's Cafe for YEARS, we finally decided to change our destination. "My Liberica" will be our new found love :) The awesome ambience, random and serious topics, lovable companion, delicious food and drinks, and the everlasting friendship spirit has made it all worthy. I will miss her a lot when she goes back to KL. I believe in your dreams and I believe you will find that "Him" soon *winks* All the best, my dear Selina Bear :) I shall see you soon.

SHE rawkzzz...

Raindrops

Forever loving the splattering sound of the rain...especially when the weather is hot enough to make me wanna kill myself. I love rainy days. It gives me a type of cool and gloomy feelings. If I want to reminisce over something, I would definitely wish that moment would be a rainy moment.

Running or walking under the rain is an awesome thing to do. Used to enjoy running under the rain a lot in Perth and sometimes in Singapore. Not because I want to hurry to the shelter but because it I loved it. I love that feeling of freedom where no one is stopping me from going into the rain and no one is shouting at me to not get myself wet. It's fun :) Trust me....it is.

I just love it when raindrops touch my skin. Dearest Rain, when are you coming to visit again? :)