Trust

I am just feeling lost and confuse right now. A big part of me still want this relationship badly and yet I am afraid that he is not gonna keep his words. Buddy told me, stop and skip all the "understanding each other's procedure" and just make my point straight. After talking to her, we realise that the root of the problem is that girl and my struggles in accepting the fact that I am a rebound. 

If he is not willing to oblige in the one and only thing that I am insecure about, it could only be one reason - HE DOESN'T LOVE ME (from beginning till the end) Yes. It is true that most guys find it difficult to stay away from girls, especially hot and pretty one. BUT loyal guys will be able to refrain themselves from it, just because they love each other too much and they are willing to forgo everything just for the sake to be with each other. Just like my buddy's boyfriend!! He is not dumb but loyal.

Even like right now, I am trying my best to trust that he didn't do anything behind my back and I hope he will stick to that. If not I will really feel that I am being used as a tool for him to move on or for convenience sake and I'll be ditch forever. I just want somebody to love me genuinely because it is not easy to give your heart away and not be appreciated.