Envy

I think I'll be spamming my little World a lot today just because I got no one else to talk to. Kudos to me for staying awake with all these flus and stupid sore throat. Guess I'll either report to work late or don't show up at all. 

Wing asked me, "Why do you want to be in the same relationship after it failed you so many times?" To get married and multiply. Seeing couple like them who been through similar problems like me and yet manage to fight it off just because both sides are willing to compromise. Seeing that Jovan is willing to change and endure Wing's insecurity for more than 2 years and storms after storms touched me. 5 years of relationship and yet insecurity took up 80% of their time and yet they still want to be with each other. This is true love. Looking back at my case, perhaps he never love me to the extend of willing to fight of anything just to be with me. He gave up after each storms and therefore 7 months marked the end of our journey.

And so, happy that this couple is getting engaged soon :) They will be able to welcome the moment that I always wanted to embrace. Sometimes I think to myself, perhaps I would be a better wife rather than a girlfriend. Getting married means everything will be sealed and I won't be afraid that my husband will leave me. Sucks to know that every relationship will have to go through the process of dating which I failed completely. I need a more secure environment.