Pain and relief

So many things going on my mind today. Wanted to join in for the Evangelism activity but this weak body won't allow me to. Instead, I prayed for two hours. Crying out and pouring out to Him. I ask Him why? I know I shouldn't be asking Him because all His plans are perfect for me. But hey, this is my personal spot, so let me just pour out.

I don't understand why I should feel so empty and lost. I mean just three days off work and I felt as if my World has ended. I didn't want to sleep the day away and realize I should have done something better. It is no fun. I want to work and I miss the kids :( Please tell me Lord that I am healed!

Father, I really appreciate you sending all those sweet people in my life. I need to step out from my comfort zone I know. I know I can't always stay at the same place. But sometimes, I really wish to go back to those times again. To me, I am like someone who is on a mission trip. I am just so lucky that all my beloved ones are here. I have a memory lane which I wanted to go back to take a stroll. Yes, I want to forget everything that I am going through right now and to just take a stroll quietly even if it is just by myself. I told you already Lord, that I am not strong at all before You. You need to lead me and guide me. There goes a saying "How can you love someone when you don't even love yourself?" No.. that's not true. Alph and Jovan used to say, it is all about "JOY" - "Jesus, Others and You" I really like that!

And I learnt something. What's mine will be mine and what's not mine will forever not be mine. So there is no need for me to feel sad or sore about it. After all that You have showed me Lord, I know I shall not even hope or long for it. I shall not even try to seek for it. I know words are easier said than done. No doubt I am still trying :) You wipe away my tears when I broke down. You were there by my side when I need You. Please tell me that You would be there for me despite all storms. You are sufficient for me.

Heal me and You will see that I am ALL READY for the next level..

Under your wings

Sorry World for not updating much. I am lucky enough to get this virus called Acute Tonsillitis which makes me can't swallow, can't eat, can't sing, can't talk and many "Cant's". Worse come to worse, my infected throat makes my fever cling so close to me and I almost thought I might as well die. Oh well, thanks to those injections, I am feeling as if I could wallop up a tiger :) Mind you, the injections were superb painful. Trust the doctor has the cheek to say he has superb skill. I didn't cry but my eyes are teary. Being sick makes me can't do anything but sleep all day long. Can't eat either.. sighhh

Found this song while watching "Endless Love" and I was so blessed by it. His voice is awesome and he is really talented. I really love the lyrics.

Under your wings by Lin Yu Chun
when i was younger feeling small
when i layed my hands in yours
i felt the sadness fade ans disappear
when my heart would fall and break
i just looked up at your face
the smile you gave me
brought me back to you
the only place i knew where i was safe

under your wings i am forever
under your open skies i soar
because your love for me was everything
i needed to be strong
i'm always home
under your wings

in another place and time
how the memories rewind
back to my father
who held me in his arms
woah and i knew that i was loved
for who i was no matter what
the smile he gave me
we would never be apart

under your wings i am forever
under your open skies i soar
because your love for me was everything
i needed to be strong
i'm always home
under your wings

do you know from where you are
how grateful that i am
that your dreams will carry on
with me

under your wings i am forever
under your open skies i soar
because your love for me is everything
i needed to be strong
i'm always home( ＊3)
under your wings

Be blessed people :) 

My little Valentine

Right after that meaningful hang out and movie with my dearest ones, I decided to meet up with my favorite student, Li Ping. She is someone who touches my heart at all times. Always so faithful and so nice to me that I feel so bad if I don't meet her. 

PS: I learnt a lesson. Even though kids are younger than us, but still, we got to be responsible on the promises that we made to them. I was suppose to meet this girl earlier..but because I was busy with my own stuffs, this poor girl has to wait for me. I felt so bad. In the end, I couldn't take it so I drove straight to her place to take her out :) 

She is young but mature. I love talking to her because she is sincere. I was planning to treat her to BlackBall but who knows this girl foot the bill before I could even fish out my wallet. I wanted to pay her back but she stopped me and ask me not to treat her as a young child anymore. She said this is her only way to repay me for teaching and guiding her these few months. I was so touched by her and I made up my mind to take her out the next day.

I think I mentioned before in my old post that I sometimes am not a good friend at all. There are so many people and so many things out there for me to focus that I often cannot do a good job. I can't really balance well and divide the same amount of attention to each people. I am not a good friend :( I would like to use this opportunity to apologize to some friends whom I haven't been paying attention to. I will try my best.

PS: This sounds so familiar. 3 years ago, I was feeling sad because I felt myself being neglected and thrown aside just because my leader didn't care or even show me concern like before. When I face problems, I will swallow it myself until one day when he noticed that I was no longer cheerful. We had a super powerful talk which is why I am who I am today. He cried while telling me exactly the same thing I spoken above. "I am sorry Viola that I focused too much on other stuffs that sometimes you might feel neglected. I will try my best to give you the same amount of attention now. Really, I will!" And this is what I want to convey to all those friends which I have accidentally neglected. It wasn't intentionally.

I know exactly how it feels like to be neglected and not having people to listen to you. It is not good at all..

My Love, My Valentine :)

And even if the sun refuse to shine 

Even if romance ran out of rhyme 

You would still have my heart 

Until the end of time 

You're all i need 

My love, my valentine 

When BB messaged me last Friday, I could tell that she really wanted to come and join in the surprise attack for Terence but due to timing problem, she can't make it :( I was so EXCITED when I knew she's back in town. Been wanting to meet her for ages and I really look forward to it. I was so disappointed every time when our timing is just not right.

Finally we managed to find a time to meet up, which falls nicely on the 14th February, the so-called Valentine's Day. I am just so happy for her and her dreams and I pray that she will be able to fulfill it. Honestly speaking, I admire her boldness and her strong-will to dream high. I wish I had such characters too. Knowing that she is striving hard, it makes me realize that I, too should work hard on whatever I am doing right now and do my best to whatever that is being tasked to me. I CAN DO IT!!

BB, YOU ARE THE BEST! I doubt that you are still reading my blog but I want you to know that, you will always be the No 1 fan for my blog :) I keep it because I want to show it to you when we are in our old days to remind us of whatever that we have been through :) I love you BB Kelly *hugs* All the best and may God bless you evermore..

I love them :)

New year were meant to be spend with the family. As quiet as it seems, but I did enjoy spending time with them. 

 Look at all my cute aunts, cousins and friend!! I am sorry that I don't have the strength to upload each pictures but I shall just choose from whichever I think consist of most people..

My bestie since 14. I love her. She is always sincere enough to come and spend time with me. Even though we only hang out once a year but surprisingly, I don't feel awkward. I enjoyed every moments with her. We went shopping at JPO, chit-chat and eat all the way. It was so very very meaningful and precious for us.

Thank God for them.

XD

According to those superstitious people, this year is "Water snake" year, that's why it keeps on raining. I actually don't mind it to rain except that I don't enjoy going out during rainy days.

I am happy :) Like seriously...you will soon know why *big grin*

Happy Chinese New Year :)

I know I will definitely update a lot of posts at this time of year. Why? Simply because I am too free and there are many things which I want to keep track of. I am a "Memory Keeper" remember? I always wanted to laugh when my buddies for life, Shawn and Sufee said how they are NOT going to invite me  to their wedding because they are so afraid that I would go up to their wives and say something like "You know what, many years ago....." How I misses them :( 

 I am working with these cool people. They are funny, joyful and fun. I enjoyed their companions and it makes life easier and more laughters. I don't care what goes on behind the scenes. All I know is that I prefer the way things are. God has a way for me...I know..

My new best friend :) She is young but she is very very nice. I like her sincerity and there are not many young people out there who is like her. We had so much fun and I hope I can maintain the friendship with her. Thank you Father for everything. I will strive for the best..

Upfront

The beginning of a brand new month, February!! Many things happened but I am glad that God is still faithful. To say I am not happy, that's a lie. To say I am truly happy, that's a lie too. I like things to be simple and yet meaningful. At the same time, I want my life to be thrilling and perhaps colorful so that I'll know that I am actually growing and learning. 

PS: I really love this girl. She is always smiling and always so adorable. Praying that she will grow up to be a good kid :)

You know, sometimes I really dislike dramas because it always come to me. There are differences between being in a drama and standing by to watch a drama. As much as I tried avoiding it, but it still came to me. I won't appreciate it if you have opinions but you choose not to tell me. We all yearn to improve ourselves. So I will be really thankful if you can be upfront to me. I am talking about my work place here :)

Thank God things are fine now. I am accepting a new challenge and I know things will be good. If I want to set my heart to something, I will not rest until I see it done. Yet, it is annoying when I am gonna  pass my current duty to take over another person's job. It is such a mess. Again, God taught me a lesson. When people don't treat you well, treat them the other way round. Be EXTRA nice to them :)

Series of events

New Year is coming and I totally have no mood for it. Wanting to start off with my series of "Walking into the past" but there are so many things happening that makes me feel so moody. Well, I could only hope for the best. God will put me in series of trials to test my faith and I will prove myself to be righteous before you. 

I am really glad that I am serving an awesome God. Wouldn't it be greater if I could just get closer to God each day?