Friday, September 30, 2011

Surprise

Hello Peeps, talk about surprise. I love surprise :) Thank God for sending wonder people in my life who would care to surprise me. I was quite down yesterday after knowing that all First-izens will not be free and we will have to cancel our usual Friday meeting :( Nevermind, maybe God is giving me a rest. As i was happily watching drama and surfing the net, 8.30pm comes and i heard my door bell rings. Whoever could it be? I was expecting NO ONE. Like literally, NO ONE! I was surprise to see the boys and Dawn. For your information, they were suppose to be at Desaru, having fun.

See!!How sweet they are...trying to give me surprise by saying they are not coming but turning up at my doorstep :) I appreciate it. Still, i manage to surprise them fully by telling them our meeting has been cancelled. What fun....we ended up having connect group after all.. and yea.super duper awesome time!!
 Alrighty. These people were shock by my mum's generosity. We had like so much left over food. Satay was awesome :) I love these people.
THE BOYS!!! Talk about being a leader.... i got influenced by them and their "Coning". We ended up driving from Maccas to Maccas, grabbing ice-cream. Oh my, i don't want to be blacklisted from Maccas. I still want to go Maccas :)

It was fun though, hanging out with these people. Brand new experience, brand new feeling. My God is awesome <3

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Cold blooded

My heart is getting colder and colder. Not towards God but certain people. Why? Why am i like that? I don't want to be so cold. I dislike this kind of feeling. Still, nonetheless, i am not gonna let you bring me down. I am as strong as anything :)

PS: I know my recent posts are kinda short. I am not in the mood for a long post yet :) Ciaozzz...

Monday, September 26, 2011

Don't stop believing...

I wanted very much more than anything else in this World is to stay happy all the time. Being happy is easy but staying happy is a very challenging task. I could have been the most happiest girl in my life. Yet, i always let those unworthy thoughts to conquer my feelings. That's how i became the DEMON Viola. Take away the D and N and it becomes EMO.
Grown up version of us. We had good memories with one another. Although we have grown up and a lot of things couldn't possibly remain the same, but they are always my dearest sisters.

Happy? How should i stay happy? I am definitely not in a good mood now. So many things happened. Trying my best to stay positive and yet it is hard. I want to escape but i know He is not done with me yet. What now? DON'T STOP BELIEVING.... and hold on to the feeling....

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

My Lullaby

I am LAZY...and i really don't wanna do anything. I am sleepy....zzzzZZZ

PS: I am sure i found my answer to the question which i have been seeking for a long time. You are just so awesome :)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

i...i...i....

I just love being in the presence of God. I love the fact that my God always have His own ways to touch my heart no matter how hard i tried to be cool. He is awesome. You touched me deeply today :)

I have problems. And i know i am facing tonnes and tonnes of them :) Yet, i can feel the joy whenever You are with me. I just wanna say "Thank You".....and i love you :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

As time goes by...

Hey peeps, i have to admit that i am a poor planner. I couldn't even manage my time well. To say i have done a lot of things, that's not true. And yet, i am not doing nothing. So, complicated yea...

Well, it has been a while since i last thought of you or even to browse through your page. To say i don't miss you, that's a lie. To say i don't feel anything, that's a lie too. I am not contradicting myself. It is true that i have already let go and lay down all these completely. Still, it is a fact that you are the one who inspires me throughout everything. I compared all these politics with the ones i had in ZPH. It is more or less the same and yet, there is always unity among the church members there. I would have given up long time ago if it weren't because i visioned your perseverance face. I am not the only one facing problems. All of us were....

I don't think i will erase your memories completely until i manage to find the right person :) Call me stubborn but i am not someone who will let go of something easily. I miss you...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

:(

Hey people, i am back :) The only thing that is worthy to be happy is the fact that i still remember my blog. Other than that, i am really moody and to be exact sad. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have no idea why am i so down. Eversince the day i have made this decision, i know i am so gonna feel like that. If you know me, you'll know that i hate (Sorry Alph, but i got to break this rule for once because i really cannot stand it) to be absence from Church. You know the fact that i hate to be left out for anything. If possible, please don't let me know what i have missed out. If not, i will think a lot :(

I guess nobody really understand me. Thank God i still have this little space where only my besties will care. If you know me, you'll know that i am a person without confidence. Yes, i may look like a person with full confident but i am not. Not to say that i am 100% weak but i have the weaker side of me. Don't think i am a superwoman. I am just like anyone of you. I have emotions too. Please respect that. I am not saying that i need people to thank me or appreciate what i have done. But please note that a normal girl like me will appreciate a little bit of help if i do need one in future.

I don't think people will like or accept me for who i am. That's why i appreciate every single friends or people that i met. It is just that why is it i am the one who has to leave after trying so hard to bond everyone together? Sorry, this is just a random post. I guess i am too emotional right now. It felt as if i have just been slapped hard on the face. It is always the same in every situations. Leo club was one, then College, then Perth and even RIGHT NOW. Maybe this is my calling and i don't even know it. Maybe i were meant to be alone all the time. I am not trying to indicate anything but this is how i felt. When i am needed, then i'll feel useful. But when i am not needed anymore, nobody will ever remember me. I am sorry to say all these...

I honestly think that maybe my time is up and i got to move on to another chapter of my life again :) My time is up and i am no longer needed anymore. Maybe this isn't the right place for me at all from the start but it was my stubborn-ness who makes me perserve on. I should have left long ago. Why did i stay on? It is too late now. I can't leave just like that. I need to do something. Lord, all i ask of you right now is to show me the path. Lead me to the next stage.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sweet moments

Woohooo..i am back to update again :) So..what is so special that i have to set a title like above? Sweet moments? Yes, indeed i had a sweet and fulfilling week. Why? First of all, last week was my last week of holiday. I started my trimester 2 on Monday (5/9/2011)...boring to the max :( Second, BB Kelly is back. Nono, i should say she WAS back in JB last week but now she went back to KL. Third, i had a good time with her. Wanting to spend more time with her but couldn't because time is short. I hope she will come back again.
 We had fun disciple-ing. Or rather, i should say, we ENJOYED chatting. Disciple-ing BB Kelly is one of the most excting thing because, in front of her, i can totally be myself. As in, i don't act in front of my other disciples but it is just different. I can lie down, or sweep the floor while asking her to attempt to those questions herself. All in all, i just have so much confident in her walk with Jesus that i don't have to stay with her throughout the whole lesson to watch her. That's what i called - Relaxing :) I am sure BB Kelly wouldn't want me to sit and watch her all the time. We'll rather have some Tutti Frutti instead :)

Church was cool too :) Lunch with Aunty Rosalind and the rest was awesome too :) I realized i just felt so comfortable when BB Kelly is around. So sad that she went back already. I am not saying i don't feel comfortable with this church. I have already accepted the fact that i am so gonna be alone all the time except during moments when i serve people. It just feels so different when you have somebody who knows you well there :) Oh well, i guess i gotta wait for another few more months before BB Kelly will be back to join me again :) Come back soon. Remember our lesson for that day? Always learn to forgive and forget. Things are perfect even though it didn't seem to be. Sorry if our connect group meeting wasn't up to your expectation. I promise you that it will be way better the next time you comes back :)

Korean cuisine with BB Kelly and my parents :) MA SI SO YO :) We are so addicted to korean dramas and basically Korea, that we just want to have korean cuisine all the time. I guess it is time for me to pick up another brand new language :) before i can officially say "Na wa se yo" to Korea again *winks*

School has started. I was praying to God earlier on that i hope history won't repeat itselfs again. So far, i am fine with everything. It is gonna be a hectic trimester because i am taking something called L.A.W. What on earth? Why is it my core module? I can't afford to fool around or slack this trimester. I don't want to repeat any of the modules. Results are out!! So far i am happy with it except for the marketing management. I've appeal for my paper to be remark again. Hopefully it went well :( With this, i decided to do something about it. Stay away from me Chocolates, sweets, junk food and those nasty nasty ice cream! I need to pass this test God has for me... No matter what the outcome is, i am willing to except all that God has in plan for me :)

PS: I don't want to stumble anybody with my Christianity life. But so far, it seems as if all my beloved ones has different opinions toward me.  They said i am too engrossed in Christ that i ve forgotten that i have a family. Sometimes, it is not that i don't want to talk to them about it. They don't even want to listen. Sometimes, i choose to be silent but that doesn't mean i am trying to hide my guilt. It is just that i know you guys will never understand God's visions for me and you'll never be able to understand why am i doing all these? So please spare me.... i can't just back out now. And i don't want to. I have been desperately trying to achieve all those visions and everything goes according to what God has planned. I don't want to lose God...

To prevent this situation from getting worst, i made a decision........

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Dreams??

Herrow World, i am back again :) Don't worry about my title. I just had a long talk with a friend of mine and we talked about our future. Future seems so blur to me now. As in i really don't know what i want to do. It is either, i further on with my master in bible studies or early childhood education, or i pursue on with my biggest dream - enter the field of media. Or worst come to worst, take over Mummy's career. I love languages and if possible, i would really love to master the languages that i loved and make full use of it :) Nothing is impossible ey? Fight the way....
I received a parcel from Jo and Ms Foh all the way from Perth. Honestly, i am touched. Seriously!! They knew me so well and i could see their effort into preparing my birthday gifts :) Thanks girls. I miss you all heaps. There are a few stuffs in the box but i'll just show you one first. Look at this T-Shirt. It was the Boombox Tour 2011 shirt. I wanted it so much and Ms Foh decided to give it to me. On it were signatures by Mr Ryan Higa and other youtube celebrities :) There are also other stuffs which moves my heart and it brought back lots of memories too :) I'll show you guys again next time...

Time flies :( My break is ending soon. I have to go back to Singapore again next week. I ve been spending time with Mummy. I am sure she will feel lonely when i goes back. Nobody accompany her to watch korean dramas for the timebeing :( I don't want to. Call me weirdo...but i do admit i am a Mummy girl. I remember i used to drag her along when i go dating last time :P I am not emo. I am just thinking. What should i do to take a step closer to future? I guess i need to start planning now. To master my lover no 1- The Violin? To further on my Japanese language? To pick up Korean Language? To dream big for the sake of my future? Lord....speak to me. Speak to me....