country or city??

hmm...don't know why??i felt that i suddenly have a change of my mind and thinking.last time...erm..like back in a few years back,i used to hate going back to kulai.thats where i grew up until i move up here in johore.kulai is also a place where both my grandma and grandpa and nearly all my close relatives stays.it was a kinda boring place.for it was like a country side where not much entertainment they had there.
but eversince 15dec2007,i suddenly felt like i am missing that place like hell.i hesitated at first when i heard that we are going back.i brought ah shuan,ah mei and miraculously,ying ying along with us as we are celebrating my cousin's 1 year old birthday.congratulation.we went to factory first.after lunch,dad suggested that he took us back to kulai as mum has got work to do.
so we went.we were quite sad when we arrived at OLD HOUSE which we called in chinese LAO JIA..!!we were far too early as the party starts only at 7pm.nobody except my grandma was at home.the house has been so much quieter eversince grandpa died this year.T.T!!my uncle has not arrive.
anyway...as this was the first time ah shuan ,ah mei and ying ying step onto kulai,so i decided to take them out for a short walk.in kulai,people were assured to leave their gates open big and grew beautiful hibiscus along the fence.we plucked those flowers as we walked along.grandma told us a short route to get to the nearest playground.i decided to take them to it.grandma told us to becareful of the bridge.bridge??i was surprised at first for i never never heard of a bridge being built there.
we walked accross some muddy roads.oh my god?my clothes were new then.and i wasn't wearing sport shoe but slippers.who cares?i wanna play all the same.when we arrived at the so-called "bridge",we were shocked!!!!!!!!!for it was only a piece of wood.rather soft too.and i was certain i will fall over as i could hear the sound of crack.it was climbing down the hill or much clearer...sliding down.true enough we slide over and got ourselve really muddy.it was a nice experience though...!at last...we managed to cross the "bridge".to our great surprise,our destination is still a step away.we need to climb something like a hill.my gosh.the hill was so slippery.and so.......i gotta pull them up..!!someone slide down though..haha...!!we arrived at last.what a touching side.everything is so clean and pretty.there is a big pond there.everything is so green and beautiful.the air is so fresh.never did i breathe in such fresh and clean air in johore.in johore,everything is so dusty and polluted.aiks...forget it...

coming back to the playground....!i was delight to see it.for i loved playground.it consist of 6 swings and other stuffs that are so so so so nice to play with.we don't have to fight for swings like we do here.and i felt so great swinging on it.everything is so nice and new.nothing is spoil.brand new...............!we were swinging and running so freely while breathing in fresh air.the garden was so beautiful........and we could actually see couple of people fishing by the pond.i am not exaggerting,but it is really a wonderful place for me...and i felt like a QUEEN while swinging on that swing.we shouted all along as we swing high up in the air.ah shuan they all too....enjoying themselve.and i was proud when they told me that...they loved this place as much as i do.we walked around searching for....hmm..a type of plant.haha....you know...the one that will closed up their petals as soon as our finger touches it.i don't know what is it call.but we did find it.then we headed back.and once again we gotta pass through a great obstacles.just now we were climbing up the hill...now we gotta climb down.and this time.......all of us slide down.all of us has got one of our best clothes on.but we don't care.the matter is we enjoyed ourselve...so we don't care a slightest bit if our clothes are dirty.but it was a bit over.. for i get my clothe torn.goodness know what my mum will say if she saw my clothe.
hahahahhahaha.....
but we were shocked after we climbed down from that hill...for someone has pushes our "bridge" down...and we can't climb up.we really don't know what to do for we don't know the other route back to my grandma place.anyway.....i have an idea.i suggested to them that we will use the same route...but this time..we really gotta CLIMB up the wall.hehe...they were real shocked.for this is the first time they ever had this kind of experience.and this kind of action reminded me of YES camp.the only different is that this place is much better.anyway...i climbed up first.then helped the rest.i can see they really enjoyed themselve.i smiled silently to myself.

the sky looks dark and i feel that its gonna rain soon.still we were damn hot.so i decided to take them to the nearest shop to buy an ice-cream.in this country sort of place,we don't need a transport at all.the only transport we had are both our legs.haha....we almost arrive at our destination when......it started to rain.my goodness....we rushed back to my grandma place only to find that my uncle has long arrived at my grandma place together with his wife,his 1 yr old son(birthday boy of the day) and both his mother and father in-law.we were happy...as the house was lively now.honestly all of us admire my uncle.for he was really a man who is worthy of it.he showed us a DVD that he made for his son.what a nice piece of work!!!!!!!
uncle decided to take us out to grab a bite.although it is raining,but all of us were hot.so i suggested that we go to "HAPPY LAND" which is the most famous restaurant that served AIS KACANG and ROJAK.all 5 of us enjoyed our meal damn much.and i told ah shuan that they were damn lucky for they managed to gain so much experience on their first trip.

recalling back,i once took my friend ,kai lyn to kulai too.to stay overnight Loong's place.that is also another sweet experience that i ever had.for Loong's house has got a big balcony.and through that balcony,we can climb up to the roof and lie up there.i remembered that the 3 of us(Loong,kai lyn and me) were lying on the roof looking at the bright sky(for kulai's sky were full of bright and shining stars) while chatting.we chatted till late at night but still were able to wake up early in the morning for breakfast.roti canai.....!!yummy yummy!kai lyn was like one of our family.she too....enjoyed herself very much.it was really a nice and sweet memories.kai lyn also spoken to me about this memory when we meet up last time.our mind do change as we grow older.

after eating,uncle brought us to TITAH(a kind of supermarket) to get some stuffs.we joked along the way.ah mei told me that she had never enjoy herself so much in one day.they were so so excited.haha...me too darlings.not you only.we went back to grandma place.uncle taught me how to grab a nice picture.he even lend me his precious camera.so i took many pictures of his precious son.i knew he will love that.not long after...mum and aunt has arrived.mum bought so many packets of balloons.and we have to blow.although nuisacance..but enjoyable.we blew nearly 100 balloons.it was raining.and my 3 aunt pray out loud to my grandpa to stop the rain.miraculously,the rain stops.haha..i knew grandpa will help us.afterall.....grandpa likes everything to be lively and noisy when he was alive.
all my cute and young cousins arrive.and my relatives too.i misses them.ying ying has found her friends at last.hahahahaha..normally we won't play with her...for she was far too young.so she was happy that she found her friends.ah shuan and ah mei simply loved my old house.we bathe and the party starts.old house is really lively and noisy that day.some of us were playing mah jong while some are eating and chatting while all the young ones were running around.hahaha..i love all these.ah shuan and ah mei were curious to know more about my family.so i told them everything while pointing out and introducing each of my relatives + aunties and uncles to her.i even told them stories and good stuffs about my wonderful old house and family.they were envy of it....!we chatted all night while watching the kids running about.
the last event was singing birthday song to my dearest cousin.the enormous cake cost RM98.but it is worth as it brought smile to everyone's face.i really love all these moments.never did i enjoy myself so much in a day.

we were all sorry to leave.but i had make up my mind.I WILL BE BACK.....together with ah shuan and ah mei....yes..back to my lovely country side...!this time we will stay overnight just to gaze at the lovely and bright sky which is full of shining stars.and whats more...my best best friend,Jennifer is staying in kulai.we can meet up together.maybe all of us will stay at Loong's house again,haha,climbing up the roof.or we can go to the playground again...climbing up hill and sliding down.

it will be great....really...it will!!missing it so much.conclusion...i must added that COUNTRY is indeed better than CITY.country rawkzz..

i miss you...............

baobei,me and vonny during our last day in sch

hehe...i just say mentioned on the previous blog that i ought to be hardworking and update my blog everyday.but...i was simply far too lazy.no choice....this is ME!!

based on the title above,of cause this will be a piece of blog about missing somebody.yeah...that's true....i can't believe that i had actually graduated for nearly one month.time really flies...and without realizing,i had wasted one whole month.really don't know what can i do?alright..back to the topic above,"i miss you....." hmm....i really misses my all friends.it is like...we lost touch of each other ever since we leave school.i hate this kind of feeling.eventhough some live very near,but still...it was like far away.anyway..this wasn't what i meant to write about.i want to write about me two goody-goody and most treasured juniors......Kelly Ong aka Baobei and Vonny Tan aka Yvonne Tan as i have promised to write in the previous blog.

the word "junior" definitely means that they are younger than me without judging on their looks and all.yup...true enough..both of them were a form lower than me.they were climbing up to form 5 next year while i have already graduated.loads of lucks for you...my dears..!anyway...why are they so special?haha...that is because they were soooooooooooo cute.true enough they were plump and rather big size.but so what??people might laugh and make fun of their appearance..but i do not.in fact what so big deal about having a slim and perfect figure when deep down inside you weren't a perfect person.anyway...i wasn't trying to spite other people.it is juzt that i can't stand it when people were making fun of their appearance.it simply get on my nerves.i am sure you guys out there knows how hurt it is to make fun and look down on other people.appearance were cause by nature...whether you are pretty or ugly.so...don't judge people by appearance.

yup..indeed they were cute.they have the best personalities that i can ever imagine.i say like this maybe because their personalities were same like me.i enjoyed being noisy don't even care what kind of event or condition it is.we can even shout out loud and laugh like mad in cinema whenever we like.and most importantly....we acted natural......!we don't like to fake round while trying to please others.NO WAY!!that is not our character.

of cause...they were LEOs.thank god for sending them to me.they were the best leos.now..i knew kelly aka baobei while i was in form 2.that is when she first entered SMK SETA.she was in the same bus as i am.again...i knew she will be in trouble.for people like to make fun of her....mocking her...laughing at her for her big size and appearance.i don't really remember if i did help her out or not?but i really hope that she can stand on her own feet and stand up for herself.in secondary life...unless you really have a sincere and loyal friend,if not....you gotta stand up to defend yourself in every aspect.i wasn't really close to kelly aka baobei eversince i transfer to morning session.i know i will join leo.i had always wanted to join in that club eversince i was in form 1.but they only accept morning girls.so.................i was a leo then.doing great there.so active that it affected my studies.i have to admit that because of LEO...that i couldn't score well for PMR.who cares?that is already the past.

kelly went to YES camp too.during year 2005.that is the first time she joined leo activities.of cause i knew it was like a new surrounding.for everything is new to her.netherless....it was a whole new experience for her.i,myself was like a helpless white mouse....when i first joined in leo forum in penang...together with seniors...and no one else.everything is like a dream.

i get to know baobei more during my undertaking as the president of fiscal year 2006/2007.

it was then..our journey starts....!

about vonny aka yvonne,i always known her as one of the prefects.although she is as plump as baobei...but she was pretty.she has a sweet look with two rosy cheeks.don't really know her well at first until she entered leo too.she too..went to YES camp.i remembered vividly that she once said to me "goodness..i don't even know you are from our school until i saw you personally in school."hahaha...what a joke.to think i have been in the same school with her for nearly two years.and she had never seen me before.

both vonny and baobei were firm friends.they stood up for each other....cried together.,consoling each other.sometimes it really touches me.i envied them of their everlasting friendship.anyway...both of them were of different characters too.baobei is strong and has hard temper.it will be hard to push her down unless you say words that really hurts her.but i knew she has weak side too.she is rather soft actually.you have to be soft with her...for she,like me,will never never take the hard side.if you are hard to us, we will definitely fight back.and i don't think i will lose.haha..

for vonny...she is a real,soft hearted person......!!she might say "NO NO NO!" to you at first.but after a while of persuading,she will gradually say " okay la..."...hahaha.but soft hearted is also one of the weakest side of her.i am not saying that this is a negative character.but sometimes,in certain circumstance,you gotta back up yourself.you can't always rely on others.so...be strong,vonny.no more shedding tears easily.i believe you can do it well.that is why i choose you...the president of fiscal year 2007/2008.and with the guiding of boabei...i am sure TOP will be yours.i have great confidence in you all....gambateh.

juniors as they were...but to me..they were great friends.friends for life i think.sometimes i really wish to go down to a form lower to join them.for they really stood by me whenever i am down or whenever i faces troubles.i am not saying my friends and buddies are bad.it is just that sometimes they were inconsiderate and they do not understand me.whenever i wanna find them and talk...they will just say "Aiya...you Leo is none of my concern.i am not a leo also"...!so i rather just kept quiet and keep everything to myself.it has become a habit of mine.and i must add to it...."NO ONE UNDERSTAND ME!" nobody will know the real me.

as you know...being a president is a real nuisance.i nearly crash my brain because of it.full of troubles and troubles.and one thing lead to another too.when this trouble is gone,the next one will arrive.but they stood by me when everyone is against me.sometimes i really feel that all form 5 students are childish.jealousy is always about.when you achieve higher post,then rumours will goes round talking bad about you.really ridiculous and childish i called.what is it so great about having higher post????so now...you can guess what great pressure you have while holding on to the post.but thank god...both of them stood by me.i trust them.they did not back stab me like other people do.even my best best friend ever does that.but they did not.i am sorry that i wasn't always nice to you both.for sometimes i can't control my bad tempered..so i flared up easily.but still you guys tolerate me.thanks and sorry for everything.memories shall last ever........as long as we remember it.

we enjoyed our time together.went shopping,went YUM CHA,having meetings.have been sharing all ups and downs.it was really great.the last trip we shared was the trip to penang.we attended leo forum.and that is when we achieve TOP.such great fun....all these unforgettable memories will last forever..!25 August 2007 is not a day to be forget of cause.it was the day that i officially retired from my post.and the new BOD were installed.baobei and vonny cried.don't cry.i have yet to say "congratulation" to both of you!!!promise me that you will do our club proud.SETA LEO SPIRIT shall last until the end.

time flies.it was until the last day that we spent in school.i was touched.vonny starts to cry.baobei was having a sad look.i wanna cry too.but i held back.no..it wasn't right to cry like this.there will always be a time that we gotta say "good bye!".but sadly my time comes first.

thanks for the great outing that day.really appreciate it.

i will miss you guys lots.no matter where you are.....my greetings and blessings for you guys will always be there.don't worry.....true enough i have leave you guys.but the joyful feelings and happiness will always be there for you all.it will not leave you like i do.so cheer up and enjoy what there is for you.YES camp rawkzz this year.i am sure you guys will have an everlasting memories.cheer up and don't feel sad anymore.i pray that you guys will always be blessed with joys and happiness....

to baobei....do not be lazy next year.gaining award is an honour.but studies determine your life time.so study hard even if you don't like it.don't give yourself too much pressure.serve your president well...just like you guys serve me.thanks a lot.i wanna hear good news from you all.gambateh..

to vonny...do not give yourself too much pressure.study hard too.do not be too soft.gotta stood up for yourself.no one can lead you in the near future life.i wanna hear good news from you too.gambateh...

once again....SETA LEO spirit shall last forever..

SETA ROAR!

SETA ROAR!

SETA SETA SETA

ROAR ROAR ROAR!!!!

S.E.T.A...SETA LEOs A PERFECT CLUB!WE'RE PERFECT~YEAH YEAH!!WE'RE PREFECT!

with love,we serve....

singing When you're gone...by Avril Lavinge..

song of the day.

great outing

lalalalalalala...i had a great time at jusco today.first of all...Happy 13th birthday to my dearest dearest sister,kelsey aka ah shuan.time really flies.i still remembered that we celebrated her birthday last year at jusco.the same place too.hahax.

well....congratulation to all the form 5 students.we are all officially graduated today.the last paper is ended.congratulation.....

hehe...today....we celebrated ah shuan's birthday at jusco,Vivo.i loved that place.because i like volcanic chocolate and blueberry pizza they serve......yummy yummy.and so....i brought along ah mei,both my cousin Qian yi and Qian ying,as well as Wen leng.i asked vonny,fishy,cai ying and baobei(kelly) to come along too.but they came late.Hebe Ting and her sis also came late.actually...we agree to meet at 1pm to watch "The Golden Compass".but i was too excited...so i hurried my dearest kiddies.....and we reached there at 11 plus...damn early.nevermind...we shopped around to find my bracelet.too bad...only found one..i can't find the black one..T.T!!!

then ah mei is complaning that she is hungry.so went down to vivo...and ordered a great deal.ah shuan paid the bill.....thanks ya...my dear.we ordered a great deal and ate a great deal.we joked,chat and fool around as we ate.enjoyable..by the time we finished,we were stuff full.but still we wanna eat popcorns.lalalala...then fishy came over to meet me.hahax..misses her damn lot.i miss vonny and kelly too.so i was eager to meet them.but still...they came late.hahax...it can't be helped.then Hebe Ting and her sis came......maybe because her sis don't know us well..so they walked mostly on their own.

we shopped round after eating.all 6 of us took neoprint together.but sadly...didn't have a chance to take with vonny,fishy and baobei.nevermind...still got chance.we bought tickets.yeah...still available.haha..very excited.then baobei arrived just before the movie start.misses her damn lot......was so happy to see her.haha..can't blame me..they really helped me a lot during my time in school.so of cause i will misses them.they stood by me,being my official partners,care for me..,accept the true me,and most importantly,they were as "CRAZY"as me.but that is another story.i will write a special piece about them next time.

yea...anyway...they hardly believe that i ve already graduate.hahax..i was as childish as ever.

they can't stand it.i love to annoy them.again...ah shuan paid for the bill.she bought a whole lots of popcorns and drinks for us.pity her.....hmmm...

in the cinema...we were damn noisy.laughing when everyone was busy watching the show.throwing popcorns at each other.talking loudly.hahax..i am sure most people will chase us out.still..we enjoyed ourselve during the whole show.

after the show.....we were determined to get ah shuan a birthday cake and to sing song for her.and we chooses a most wonderful place,Lavender.oh my god.damn regret now.

well..it started like this.we headed to Lavender after shooting pictures at the christmas decoration.then we asked ah shuan to choose the flavour for herself but she can't make up her mind.so we choose for her.a RM55 cake with the yam flavour.quite beautiful looking.we decided to celebrate at lavender itself since they provided a cafeteria.since we are a big group of 12 people,we get to sit at the largest table.as the cake is served with candles lighted up,we sang as loudly as we could.we sang a happy birthday song with 2 version.english and chinese.then we asked shuan to make a wish.haha.....it goes well at first.we joke around as we cut the cake.nobody have any idea how to cut that cake as the shape looks weird.so i cut it.everyone was laughing and complaining at my terrible ways of cutting that cake.hehehehe...but too bad..they gotta eat it up all the same.i put some cream on ah shuan's face.just as we were enjoying ourselve,.....i think the supervisor of Lavender came and say to us "Can you all keep quiet?"................oh my god....what the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i felt myself beginning to boil.everyone felt like that.we were truly mad at him.can't he just say the word "Excuse me and Please"???if he talk to us politely,we won't be that mad at him.doesn't he had any idea that CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT?it doesn't mean that we are children and we deserve treatment like this.so what if we are young?we don't deserve this kind of service.

in anger....vonny handed a marker pen and a piece of paper to me.they asked me to write a note of ocmplaint to the manager.with that i written "MANAGER,NEXT TIME...PLEASE ADD THE WORD "EXCUSE ME" BEFORE YOU APPROACH US.YOUR ATTITUDE IS DAMN POOR"..................how they cheered when i finished my sentence.we left the paper on the table.then vonny shouted"BILL PLEASE!".....

the supervisor came with a black face as he handed us the bill.as the money were incorrect,baobei said to that guy"please go away first.i call you here when i ve finish counting"....hahahahahahahahha...cool job.that supervisor looks even blacker.......!!actually the worker there knows that we were real angry and unhappy with their service.so a lady came personally without me calling.and i just say in a cold voice"PLEASE PACK THIS CAKE".she did it out of sincerity.so i respect her.............................!still...we were really unhappy with their service.i hope that this will be my last time visiting Lavender.....what the hell.........

then we hang around at food court waiting for Selina Bear.she was at red box.i wanna go..but no money.so gotta wait till next time...........then it was rather late.so at 5.30pm...we left jusco and went back home.had a great time....!!i misses baobei,vonny and siyu they all lots..!!

but sadly...something terrible happened just now....!aiks.....will write it in the next piece of blog.anyway...thank god for granting me with a nice and enjoyable day.

a new life???

it seems like ages since i last updated my so-called covered full with spider webs blog.recently i have been reading a particular person's blog.and i find it really useful to record everything like my days,my experience and everything.it was such good idea.
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha...my spm finally ended on the 26th november 2007.yahhhoooooooooooooooo...damn happy...but still i can't help worrying about my results.what if i can't enter singapore??T.T.........honestly..i am not confident in it...but i leave it all to fate then...afterall..i have got such long holidays waiting ahead for me...

now...about that particular person......actually she was my friend.one of my primary school mate.
we weren't really close.but all i know is that..she comes from a rich family.very very rich indeed.due to this..she always got what she wanted.she is pretty.plus with the fact that she is good at dressing up herself,doing make-up.and altogether she makes herself looks realy gorgeous and pretty.amazingly pretty.honestly...i envy her life.still...i prefer my life best.

well..looking at her pictures makes me feel....WOWW...!amazing.plus the facts that she is studying abroad.in my dream country too.that's why i envied her.....................aiks.....it is not that my family can't afford to sent me abroad.i knew it quite well that my family are well-afford to sent me even to the best country.it is just the fact that my mum don't want me to go too far.she just doesn't speak out her mind.i knew it.aiks.....afterall..i am the only girl she has.but someday i wish that i,including my family can migrate off to other country.i will bring them along with me.this country,Malaysia is
really not a place for me.i don't like it here.lol....maybe because i study in english school since young.....that's why all my thinkings and thoughts were all set by english cultures.it is not that english country sounds high-class to me..although it is the fact,but i really like it there....

imagine myself..staying at Melbourne..my gosh....IRENE,CHRISTINE..i really envy you guys.
hahax..i am going crazy just like what Christine said.Anyway...i am glad that Irene will be back from Melbourne soon.i gonna drag her out.....yes...both her and Christine.Michelle is coming back soon.actually she is already back in Malaysia...i guess.sob sob....
Kai Lyn will be flying off to Perth next February.it seems like everyone is leaving soon.but again...this is life...........

as for me........mum wanted me to stay here for another 2 years......then decide again whether to fly off to oversea or what.seriously i really hope i can fly off to oversea.migrate there too if i can.but mum has got business going on here.and my dearest Ah ma ting aka Hebe Ting has predicted that i gonna take over their business one day.no la...please lar...ask my mum to start off another business at oversea...hahahahaha...this is only my own wishful thinking.

hehe....now i began to care more about my looks..maybe because exam is already over.don't know why...but i feel like wanting to break the rules...just to annoy my teachers.afterall...i ve been sticking to those stupid school rules for so long.only this year(2007)...i kept on breaking rules...wear multiple earrings,wearing bracelets that aren't allowed to,keeping spiky hair,bringing forbidden stuffs...lalala...and so on.but it wasn't my fault lar..those prefects didn't catch me also...so of cause i will continued bringing it.i have the thoughts of dyeing my hair into green or white colour....then walk a few round infront of my teachers...let them get a shock...hahaha....i know..i know..it was bad of me.but this is me...nobody can change me..

haix...now i am under a training session at my mum's factory.she wanted me to learn paper work and help her out at her office.A.J(my aunt)is training me.but her ways of teaching are too fast.often i feel it was hard for me to catch up.still i can managed.too bad..my aunt was on leave today.and she expect me to do all her jobs..what da......!busy and hectic day for me.and i was so afraid that my mum will yell at me or anyting......for she is always serious in her work.and serious person will always lead to having a foul temper.

by the way...finally,at last.....i can change my hp.....yeah..love ya lots..dearest mum..goodbye Samsung..i can finally throw you away....after being complained so many times by Hebe Ting.
i wanna watch lots of movies.then go shopping with my friends.....i misses my girls,Hebe Ting and Selina Bear lots.they are having exams tommorow.wish them lucks.and good luck to my other friends too...

all the same.....what i wanna do is just to enjoy myself for this long holidays.....travelling abroad,go shopping,buy lots of things esp clothes,shoes,bags,make-up set and...bla bla bla.
but my money running out...aiks.. but most probably i will be going for a holiday with family,and dearest neighbours for christmas.christmas is coming soon.yeah....can't wait for it to come.
i really thank god for blessing me with such great lifes.thanks for answering my prayers.

anyway..gotta go now....i won't have mum yelling at me for typing this at her office..tata...misses my friends lots....

The sour feeling of my heart...right after Graduation day...T.T!!

Hmm...how should i start??...or i should say that this piece of blog should be written long long ago.but then..i was damn lazy to do so......and so..i ended up typing it yesterday.again(BUT).....something happened to my dear computer.........and everything was deleted.and so...i have to sit still infront of my computer today and typing it out once again........................
aiks...right!!back to the main topic...."Sour feeling of my heart"....
well..it all started because of "Graduation Day" or our school called it "Sejambak Kasih" which was held on 27th October 2007.!it was a tradition of our school.SMK SETA.to have it every year as a celebration for the form 5 girls.and to take this opportunity to express our gratitude to all the teachers.!i was the school photographer last year.so i was asked to witness this event.at first i don't see advantages and meaning of having this event.all i knew is that this is a silly event.wasting money and time.creating chances for those students to dress up nicely........having make-up all over,stepping into the hall.......receiving their certificates and souveniours...eating...!!of cause we think like that.cause the lower form will have to serve those graduating seniors.what bored.....

and so........this year........i change my perspective for this meaningful event.it is true that we gotta pay for it.but...............from the bottom of my heart..it really worth it.several days before this event,each form 5 classes were asked to make a video of our own classes.and so..we were all busy shooting pictures of each other.for the first time..i finally realised that i gonna say "good-bye" to this school soon....so i treasure every moment.go window shopping with my friends....deciding what to wear for sejambak kasih.it was really so great.
finally...it was the DAY!!the moment i stepped near my school...what a sight!!!everyone looked so gorgeous..........my goodness.i really must take their picture as remembrance...
our monitor took our attendance.although our class theme is known as "BLINK"..but i don't think any of us has actually follow close to the theme.there goes the same as 5A....with the theme"Glamourous".....
we were asked to line up in 2 rows....!why should 5B line up first whilst 5A were happily standing behind?we were shocked when those prefects asked us to take the lead first.we just followed blindly.as we stepped into the hall...gracious..i nearly cried.i can see all the teachers lining up...in rows..clapping their hands vigorously....just to welcome us.gosh...............we don't deserve these...!last year was not like that..!they treat us just like....hmm..just like TREASURE.!!
we sat infront right near to teachers.....then everything is just the same.speeches...,receiving cert..having great feast.just that..this year is totally different from the previous years....!!never did i appreciate our school hall as much as that day....and never did i felt so sad about gonna leave school soon.....!!we took as mny pictures as we can.....and the day ended like this...

now.......right after graduation day...i knew my days in school...are getting lesser and lesser....
so all of us stick together as much as we can.we treasure every moment together.taking pictures.telling jokes.planning about our future.it sounds so great.we ignored the facts that we might not have the chances to meet each other again....!!2 weeks in school right after graduation day...sounded so long and boring.but the facts is that i really enjoyed every single moment of all.

it lasted until monday,5th November 2007,which was our last SCHOOL DAY in SMK SETA.the whole day sounds the same.taking pictures.talking......and etc.until we were asked to go to the hall...for our last taklimat before SPM starts next week.when i found my place in the hall...whoaa...i was surprised to see my grandma(Hebe Ting)..sitting so near to me..yeah!!at least i won't feel so tension...!she was glad too.....wualalala....
Puan yeong gave us taklimat...!!and i was beginning to felt uneasy when i saw all the teachers who had taught us for 2 years sitting nicely in a row on the stage.........
it was 12++pm...when our penolong kanan,Puan Raziah gave us a short speech..then she asked us to go up on stage to apologise and to thank the teacher.i was beginning to feel sad.........

jing shan and vonne accompany me to look for our BM teacher,Puan Chan.she was the first person whom i wanna apologise to....for we really did her wrong.for eg...not paying attention in her class....,ignoring her....,upsetting her. by not doing homework...and a lot more.eventhough we creates troubles...but she is really the teacher that we loved the most...!!we saw her at a distance......then we crowded round her...!she shaked hand with us plus the word "All the best!".
i was holding back my tears...when puan chan suddenly say "Lee hong sudah nak nangis.jangan nangis"........just as that...my tears flow out automatically.Puan chan just hugged me close to her while consoling me.i knew she was holding back her tears.i am sorry teacher...but i just can't control my tears.........

then we went up the stage and saw Puan Lee(bio),Puan Tan(add maths) and Puan Yeong(physics).again..we shaked hands...the teachers were telling us all those words again "All the best.....i will miss you all".and just as i was calming down..when Puan Lee pat me and say "Lee hong...don't worry la...you can do it...study hard ya"....!again i felt near to tears again.
then i saw our club advisor..Puan Thamil Selvi....!she exclaimed loudly " Lee hong...i really will miss you la..the best president...!oh no...and our leo club will really miss you too....all the best!!".
i don't know if i felt touched or what.....but this is the first time i ever heard such words from her...
finally i found my form teacher,Puan Siti Mahani.she hugged me close and whispered "Lee hong..Lee Hong...don't repeat the same mistakes again.good luck and all the best.."i really couldn't stop crying now.they were all good teachers actually.just that we didn't know how to appreciate them.
i can see most students crying now..!!we hugged each other while apologising........!i really hate all these kind of farewell scene.we cried while hugging each other......really can't bear to leave them.............................
our eyes were swollen by the time the bell rings for dismissed......!!i was like pretending not to answer kelly and vonny when they called after me.sorry.........i just hate this kind of scene.....
but they manage to catch after my bus.and i gave them each a HIGH 5.then i can't stop crying again..throughout the whole journey home...!!it was really a crying day for all of us.

there is one thing i never say..not because i don't care.although i might hurt anyone of you unexpectedly..but i really appreciate the times when we had been together...sharing all our joys and happiness as well as all our ups and downs....!we are friends forever...i really love you guys.....thanks for being my friends........

to my S.H.E(selina bear,hebe ting and ella hong)members....we are sisters forever...!sorry if i ever hurt anyone of you...!!you guys know me.....!!we will always be S.H.E forever.eventhough gonna leave this freaking school soon.but still...we are the best.....!too many thing to say...but don't know how to put it in words...i only can say..........All the best...and may our friendship last forever...

to my P.L.K.N(pan,loh,kwan and ng)members....we will always be the fantastic four that sticks together.without you guys...my time at 5B will never be as fun as this...!!never forget all our happy moments in class and as well as all our jokes....!!may our friendship last forever too.

to all my buddies and friends...fang,yng,soo hui,sultan,cousin brota,jasmine,all 5B girls and as well as all my friends/tuiton friends or anyone...............you know who you are...(unless you don't treat me as your friend).
thanks for being my friends.and thanks for being a friend too.some has become my advisor.some has become my listener.some has seen the weakest side of me.some has been standing up for me.i really appreciate all these.thanks for spilling all beautiful colours of rainbow into my life....!!without you guys...my life would never be as colourful as this...

to my dearest dearest LEO's....vonny,kelly(baobei) ,fishy and as well as all my members....!thanks so much for being a leo.you guys has really earned my respect and my urgeness for pinning high hopes towards you.eventhough i never praise you guys openly and never seem to care much for you guys,but all i wanna say is that "I REALLY,TRULY DO FEEL PROUD OF YOU ALL"..................you guys did marvellous jobs.EXCELLENT!!thanks for being so patient and tolerating during my undertaking for year 06/07.i can't thank you guys enough.without you guys....Leo will never be the same.carry our leo flag high and do it proud.serve the community with true and sincere heart.gaining award is an honour for our club.but that should come in second.eventhough it is important...but we must at least serve with sincere heart before we think about awards stuff...!!this is the only advise that i can give you all.shine out your eyes and be alert towards the surrounding.what other says is none of our concern.the matter is..we knew who we are....and we knew our strength and capability.nevermind about how others look upon us.the facts is that...we must all bond together and trusted in ourselve.you know why i chose you..that is because i knew you guys can do it a million times better than i do.the conclusion is...you guys are the best and you did better than i do.so keep it up....ROAR!ROAR!ROAR!

to all my primary school mates./sisters./buddies........shi hui,sophia,kai lyn,irene,christine,siew wen,soobrinah,raechel,swee yee,paul,jiken,yue jing,bernard,victor,andrew,jaya,asrul and..................!!you guys are my best best tomodachi ever.......the best gang....the best class(6 ORKID),.greatest memories...!i really love you guys....remember how we once stick together when troubles occurs??......we never leave anyone of us...!i can never forget all our jokes and sweetest memories that we all created and shared.all this will goes on forever.i misses you guys lots....!we can never predict what will happen in the near future,but what i can predict is that our miraculously friendship will last forever and ever......................love you guys..muack... LONG LIVE SSU....and LONG LIVE 6 ORKID....

lastly...to my dearest dearest gua gua club.....i really love you guys....!!every single one of you..
you guys are the best.....ah shuan,ah wa,ah mei,tee hong,tee hui,tee en&....!thanks for creating happiness in my life.life has never been dull without you guys.i believe we will stick together for life...............!!jia you...you are all my dearest brothers and sisters.......!!i will miss you guys lots...!!

to all my tomodachi....all the best in the near future...may god bless you guys with joys and happiness as well as leading you to his path of glory....!!take care everyone...!!to all the SPM candidates...best of lucks...gambateh...we strive till the end.........................

omg.......i really hate you...

hmm.....according to my title above....for sure...this is another piece of my so-called "VENTING ANGER" blog.
so...if anyone can't stand it or hate to see any violent/vulgar words.............then i warned you to get away as far as possible......!!for i am in a real foul mood right now.....!!i really must vent out this anger from the bottom of my heart......
actually i was in a very very good mood today....but WHY do you have to let me see that SUCK up face of yours?
i ve been tolerating you for so long.for your ridiculous + emotional mood and characters.as i mention in those previous blog..when you are happy...you expect people to be happy too no matter how sad or angry people are...!but when YOU,yourself is in bad mood..........then you expect people to be as moody as you.what the hell is this????bloody shit la!!you,yourself hate those guys then you hate la..!why do you have to ask people to hate them along with you?you always put me in a very bad spot.
FUCKER..........who do you think you are??i gave in to you just because we ve been friends for so long.when you flares up ridiculously and ignored me for nothing,.....i apologised not because i admit i was wrong.that is because i know you are not rational enough to think positively.
but lately....you ve been treating me like your dog.as though i am a real,live dog and you are the master.always ordering me to tag behind you.only you are the one that can be angry while others can't.and only you are the one that can be angry with others.you can offend others but other people can't offend you.what kind of idiotic law is this??and who are you to expect me to obey this kind of fucking law?i don't remember i have got any relationship with you.
and then you will always tell others that i am ignoring you la...always look angry...!MAHAI la......yes.it is true..!i always look angry.and i don't wanna talk to you.but so what??please find out clearly about the cause first then only you make those LAMEK conclusion.
you are always treating people like invisible...!!when your friends are gone only you will come..rushing...smiling...and being friendly with me..!I HATE YOU....I HATE YOU...!!why do i have to know you?you were not like that during primary school times...
i know you are under a great pressure.maybe study stress or what.....
but can you please be considerate a bit???
stop treating people like invisible.....!if it is so hard...then just say so....i can disappear in front of you!!stop making people feel bad....and then acted innocent somemore..!what the hell??mother fucker....
i really can't stand it anymore....to think i thought you are very considerate and caring...and thoughtful.bullshit........................you are not the same person anymore.....not now..and not ever....
don't try to spoilt my last few weeks in school........!!and i won't have you spoiling my greatest moments of all..
so just bear in mind that....i won't be the one to say SORRY or start the conversation first whenever you start that ridiculous mood of yours.........but allow me to mention one more time.....I HATE YOU..........!!!....

okla...i ve finished venting my anger...feeling much much better now.......SORRY....although i ve been writing about things that are definitely not nice to read or to hear.....but seriously...i don't mean it..!i don't mean anything at all...just wanna let out that miserable feeling of mine....since i can't tell it straight to that person.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
trust me....that person above is still my friend and buddy...........and always will be....friends forver.......

friends..........if you guys ever read this piece.........just read it silently will you??
never speak about it to anyone eventhough you guys might guess who is it....thanks a lot...

may lord jesus bless you guys a great day.............AMEN.....

what's wrong with me??

aiks...nowadays..i really don't know what has happened to me?
i am not like myself lately...!!don't wish to talk....gets irritated easily...
i don't think it is because of exams...............for i don't usually have exam stress..

friends??hmm..maybe "THEY" are the cause...
hmm...nowadays i really gets so fed up with lots of people telling me "hey...how ar?exam leh...i DID'NT even touch the books.." or something like "oh my god..i am so stupid...arhhh how?i can't remember a stuff "
well..all i can say is that all these are RUBBISHES,EXCUSES AND FIDDLESTICKS!!
how can anyone be so clever without working hard or studying?
all rubbishes and excuses??i hate anyone telling me that...........why can't you just be honest and said "yes..i did study at home.i worked so hard!".........
hey...do you guys know that by making excuses like that will make people feel bad and small?after saying "din study lar" or "i am so stupid",then you produced excellent results!!fiddlestick!!!!!i am honest.if i say i DIDN'T study means i DID NOT.at least i am not as dishonest as you.and yet....some of them are so selfish.they actually know the ways of studying....and have got tips for it.yet....they refuses to share it.like afraid that people might surpass them.my gosh....can you guys have some common sense?
we are born to compete with ourselve....and not others...
i am not even dreaming to compete with you...come on la..i know my limit ok?

and my friends?lately i felt as if i am drifting far away from them.....from the gang i used to hang out with...............!!maybe because we are lack of topics or what.i don't feel like joining their conversation.sometimes i can't even connect to what they are talking about.so i pretty much leave them alone.sad to think of it.i don't really want things to be in this way......but i really can't help saying that...you guys make me like this.and i don't want to deny that i treat this kind of situation as "you guys are ignoring me!"
guys...i really don't want to think like that.
but it can't be help..!!the facts is that i can't connect what you guys are talking about.
and for other purposes...or i can say...my other gang of friends...hmm...worst.i felt as if like i am a ball being push around.or in clearer way.....when you feel like talking..then you talk to me...and when you are in no mood,then you ignored me..as if i am the cause to make you in such state.please la..i am really tired.i am a human too.i don't have to please you or go according your ways.i feel as if i am a DOG........having to follow your orders.....listening to your commands,have to please you..,tolerate your craziness + ridiculous ways...!!NO WAY...iam tired of it......

and please let me say it our of ANGER...... I HATE YOU GUYS..I HATE YOU GUYS...ARHHHHHHHHHHHHH..
i feel like stranggling you all......arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

okok...now i feel so much better after pouring everything out and venting my anger..
though it hurts.......but we are still friends...the BEST gang ever..WE RAWKZZ...!!!!forgive me for this piece of blog....but i just feel like typing it out..
whenever i feel sad...i will think of my old classmates.......!they will never never treat me like this...
i really,truly misses you guys.....friends from SSU...especially 6 ORKID..!sometimes i wonder..if all of us did not leave SSU,then perhaps we will have real fun...and i can GUARANTEE that this kind of situation will not occur.i really missed you all.............sob sob....you guys are forever in my heart....the best TOMODACHI ever!!and our best gang of 6 ORKID-sophia,shi hui,kai lyn,irene,christine,soobrinah,raechel,siew wen,paul,ji ken,andrew,pang,asrul,jaya,swee yee,victor,bernard,yue jing and of cause ME...
we are the best...we are the best.....................love you guys..muackzz..
yeah....i am HAPPY again............

life is really cruel...!

many things can happen in just one day.......................!!to me,i always tries hard to think positively in whatever condition!!but recently,i feels tat life is getting worst!!people were asked to relax and be optimistic ..
but sometimes,in certain condition,you just can't do it.this is how tears are formed...................!

sometimes,,i wonder if...GOD really do keep on watch over us??why must misfortune falls on someone who is kind and innocent?it is really too bad.such tragic should never ever happen to someone like that.HEAVEN is so unfair...........!!i know i should look on the bright side that GOD wants her more......!but still i really cant accept the fact.Yu Min is always one of my greatest buddy.she is one of the most gentle and sweetest girl.always wore a smile on her face........and is nice to everyone.I know her since form 2...and got closed with her in form3,where we were both librarians.she is really a good friend.never involved in any misunderstandings and quarrellings.i know that she had a strong bond between her and her mum.she used to say that she can't bear to leave her mum even for one night,whenever we asked her to stay overnight for a late gatherings.it is getting near SPM...all of us have planned to go for a trip together.surprisingly,yu min has agreed too.but why?why must all these happened?i know i can't change the outcomes..........but it really hurts me to think that yu min will be alone without her mum beside her.she is still a child to her mum.she hasn't really grown....................!!i know she will be hit very hard.i really want to help her.but what can i do?

Dearest,Honourable Lord Jesus,
ive come to pray upon you sincerely with all my heart.please say that you will listen to my prayer.before i go on,i thank you whole-heartedly for sacrificing yourself for all the sins that we've done.
Honourable Lord,believe in GOD will grant us an eternal life.i am sure you have a good reason for everything decision and arrangement that you ve made.i am willing to trust you......................
Yu min's mum,aunty chua,is a nice lady.she is as cheerful as yu min.always wore a smile on her face.she is a nice lady to chat with.i met her during form 3 time.it was raining season..................and heavy rain falls just before we can go pass the school gate.and there was aunty chua,who was a helpful lady,said to me"oh my..aunty really can't bear to see you walking in the rain.come on up...i can at least send you to the bus-stop,"..
i was really touched.and so i gladly got onto the car.but still,heavy rain pours outside........!!all along the way,i realised that aunty chua is really a nice person to chat with.without realising,she has sent me back to my home eventhough she lived so far away.i was feeling grateful............!and so,she has always left me a great impression..and i always known her as a"kind and cheerful" lady.
i never thought that wednesday,26th september 2007,was the last time i can see her.tragic falls upon her.i can hardly believe thats such a nice lady will leave just like that.
Please...Lord....if you are listening,,,........please grant her an eternal life.i know you have a good reason for all these arrangement......!!please grant that she wil lead a real,happy life in heaven.what's more,please do say you will watch over her family...and may they stay strong for their future life.....from now and always.....

this was a prayer said by the name of Lord Jesus....AMEN....

the story of her life....

Once,there is a girl who has just entered her secondary life.She used to be in an Over-protected school,where everything is done for her.There goes the same at home.She does not have to bother herself about house chores,school projects not done,homeworks not done,or having no transport back home or whatever is it that most human will usually bother about.She lead a happy life and spent a happy 6 years during her primary school time where she met her friends,her crush and everything.Though she met problems like quarrelling with friends,fighting over silly matters............but all these problems are consider silly and minor if we compare it with other school's students who are not that fortunate.This girl has hard tempered too.That is the only worst point of her for she is not the one who can controls her temper.She will flare up unnecessary..and she is an easily jealous person.She can be mean...!she can be kind and good too...if she wants to.Nobody knows the real side of her.Not even her real good friends and family.She doesnt want anyone to know the real HER.Overall,she did gained a good and sweet childhood memories,during her primary school time......!she treasured friendships..too....!And it can't be deny that she is really having a good time in her primary school life.The spirit of harmonious can be found in students.And no matter whatever problems or conflict occurs,a word of "SORRY" can solved everything.
She is just a girl of age 13,the one who has a straightforward and naive thinking.She was naived to think that secondary school life will be just the same as her primary school!And thus she wasnt prepare for all the things that might occurs.She lefted all her primary school friends and came into a world which is totally strange and unknown to her.And then she realised that in this monstrous school,everything has to be done by herself.She has to have courages to defend for herself when troubles falls on her.For friends in secondary school is totally different from friends in primary school."SORRY " and "IT IS OK" is not the solution to those problems any longer.Friends in secondary school are definitely less friendly.She is not having comfortable school life like before.For once,she has to take school bus to school,that she has never try before in her life.Of course the feeling is not as comfortable as her high class van that used to be her only transport to school.Slowly,she has got used to her secondary life.Her characters has changed.She becomes stronger and even more independent.Then she began to notice the things around her.
Her eyes wandered off....and it met a pair of eyes....the one which she will never ever forgets.She met his eyes.It was such a beautiful one........................!!She got to know this guy.......!And she knows that her life has started to change.Did she run away from it?Nope.She fight this war herself.She has met lots of people and faces conflict.Still..life is going on.She is not falling down just because of this.It can't be deny that she is happy to have met him...but she admitted the pain that she has gone through.
HE??He is a guy of cause..!!He is a popular guy and extremely smart.He has good look.An angel outside if you do not know the inner part of him.He too...is similar like her....where nobody knows the real and true side of them.She does not know him well...for he seldom talk about his stuffs.He wanted her help to chase a friend of "hers".That is how they got to know each other.She can feel his sincerity towards her friend.This is why she agrees to help him.But she doesn't know that being kind in this aspect doesn't bring her good.Infact,she tortured herself by falling for him.It pierced her heart when she sees the pain in his eyes after being rejected by her friend.But all she can do is just to console him and advice him to move on.She doesn't know if it this method works or not.All i know is that she has never tell him how she feels towards him.She has kept this forbidden feeling for long.Nobody knows it.She has hope to tell him.But her heart doesn't allow her to.
A year passes quickly.A new year begins again..!She is entering her 2nd year of her secondary life.She met him again.This time,he is like a total stranger to her.She doesn't know him at all...!!She is even sadder when she finds him changing into another person.The usual him is no longer there...........!!He has turn into a play boy.!!Chasing nearly every single girls that he could get hold of.He is turning into a beast too.......!It breaks her heart.But what can she do?......He totally ignore her....forgetting that she has been the one that is willing to help him...and the one who trusted in him although many people are against him.She was leading her own life while he was leading his own life....................!They both go separate ways.....just like they had never met each other before.She tries to forget all about him.........but how can this be done so easily?He has changed completely.He broke the heart of many girls.But he always gave her a sorry look.....
It was until a day when the boy finally confessed to her.It was a day which she has been secretly hoping for long.She hesitated for a while.And then she finally accepted him.It could have be a happy ending.But this doesn't last for long.For she can see his characters even clearer.Everything goes well at first.He cares for er.After a few weeks,she found out that He is still a play boy after all...........!But she,being stupid,didn't want to admit it at all.She trusted him too much.And tends to cover all his mistakes.She believes whole-heartedly that she still meant something to him.She finally broke down when she received a message from him asking her to hide their relationship....saying that he doesn't want so many GIRLS to know it.Now,she knew that she doens't mean a damn in his heart.And yet,she was still as stupid as ever.........hugging her hp while waiting for his messages each day and night.His messages are getting lesser and lesser each day.Sometimes it was once in a week...and sometimes even worst,once a few months,and then none at all.She finally accepted the facts that it was time for her to move on.It isn't worth lingering over someone who doesn't care a damn for you.She has almost recover from her wounds when she received a shocking and hurting news from her friends that HE told them that it was HER who has been pestering him for long.And that he doesn't care a damn about her at all...!What a news..!!!It broke her heart for long........!!
But all the same,this has taught her a lesson.She won't trust boys that easily now.She is getting stronger and yet she does feel stupid whenever she thought of how she has been fooled by him before....!SHe is leading a happy life now as a new person............


The story has come to an end.....and i am not ashamed to admit that I am the stupid "SHE" mentioned above.
This experience has taught me a lesson.And you will be glad to know that i ve gotten over this long ago.And i am leading a satisfactory life now....full of happiness and friends....!It is just the kind of life that i want..

i m back again..

...HIHI...i am back again to my world of dark parade...
a great friend of mine,Sufee says that my blog is full of spider webs..................!!so that is the reason why i am back again....!for a spring cleaning lo....muahaha......

well well..life is damn miserable....!because trial exams are still going on.......!i hate all those 7 letter words subjects. for eg....S.E.J.A.R.A.H and B.I.O.L.O.G.Y..............ewwww...i totally hate memorising...!i wonder can i study just Chemistry?then maybe my results will look good..................!

yesterday is really a bad day for everyone!!we started our sejarah 1 at 7.45am.i hate sejarah.so no matter what,i just won't read it.so i am well-prepared to do a bad paper.exactly sharp at 8.00am,i can see my friends all heads dropping on their table.haha........i wonder how in the earth they can study so lightly and efficiently.
aiks....i dozed off too.but of cause it is not that comfortable to sleep with your head on the table.....i can't wait for 8.45 am to arrive when my teacher collected all those freaking papers..................

then i knew i gonna die in my sejarah2...!and of cause i wan right....!i couldn't answer from the 1st question.and it was the PROUDEST moment for me.so i just scribble whatever i could think of.when i looked at the time,it was only 11.00am.oh my god...i got an hour and the half left to sleep.i really can't do anything about it.so i can just sleep....!everyone was not in a good mood after the exam.some were near to tears...and some were just feeling sad and moody.of cause i am one of them.but it doesn't last long..................!cause i ve invented a way of venting my anger.EATING FRENCH FRIES AND ICE-CREAM.......

then something complicated stuffs happened that makes me even more moody.wanna know what has actually happened?narhh...i lazy to type.i refused to talk to my friends in tuition.they are wondering what's wrong with me.i told them it is all because of my sejarah paper.but actually it was not.i am upset about them.but they will never know.....!!narhh...serve them right for it......!!

then i was happily..sitting in that old man class....trying to concentrate.!but my GOOD GOOD friends,sufee and shawn were both laughing at me for being selected to go NS..!!..whoaa...such great friends i ve got.so touched...muahaahaha...!thanks for bullying me ya...u guys......!!i will have it out with you guys some other day.after i am trained...to be even more stronger...
but i know they were joking...!so i just acted along with them...................!!

overall............i felt extremely happy....when Mr Lim came in....muahaha....!!it was time for chemistry....whoaaa....damn nice....!!

aiks...meanwhile...it wun last long...for exam is still on...and i hope i can last out till the last day of exam..before i can finally jump up and down....
till here........................

Why must life be so cruel?

A nice story to share..

Let me take you back to fairytale land................................those sweet and touching fairytales that everyone loves....
Once upon a time......there is a very very pretty girl who lives in a village.Every boys in that village had a crush on her for she was too beautiful and attractive.Although she is pretty,but she has a kind heart and is never proud of her good look.
One day...she found a strange mask on her way home.Feeling curious,she decided to wear it.Just to see how she look.After wearing it,she felt uneasy.She tries to take off the mask...but she can't.It was fastened tightly on her face.
She rushed home to looked at herself in the mirror.To her horror,she found that she has a horrible look.It was like a "FACE OF DEATH".She was not pretty like last time she used to be.People hates the sight of her for she looked terrible and horrible.And so,she was sad and lonely.Gradually,she got used to her masked life eventhough she still hates that mask round her face.
It was until one day,when a handsome boy comes to live in the village.All the girls worshipped him.Yes..including that GIRL.But all she could do is to hide away..and watched him silently.She felt sorrow and empty.Surprisingly,after watching him for so long.......he finally walked towards her one fine afternoon.She felt her hearts thumping fast.She tries to run away....but he caught hold of her nicely.He whispered something in her ear.Just at that moment,the masked which she has fear for life drops off miraculously.She felt tears of happiness running down her face as she hugged that boy.....

Actually can't think of what word is that?..................a real suspense....
OKOK...STOP......NOW..LET ME TAKE YOU BACK TO THE STORY...which i would like you all to share...

Hmm...again..i started off with....ONCE UPON A TIME....there was a pair of lover who are very much in love with each other!!The boy was understanding and promising while the girl often thought she is very lucky to have him.They were in the same class and form from their secondary school up to high school.Although they will have misunderstandings and pickerings like normal couples do,but all these quarrels has made their relationship even firmer.They never thought of leaving each other.And can't even bear to imagine their life without each other.They did everything together and even attended the same college,same course.The boy was excellent while the girl was not bad too..!The boy achieved outstanding results......
It was until one day,when the boy received a letter urging him to go oversea to further his studies.Although unbearable,but the boy has his own dream.He promised her that he will be back in 2 years time asking her not to forget him.The girl hugged him with a smile saying "No matter where you are,i will always be here waiting for your return." They hugged each other for a long time..each bearing the pain at not being able to see each other for 2 years.
During the time he was away,the girl found it hard not to mind anything at all.She misses him terribly.They can only send their love through mail and phone calls.He misses her too.But still..they have to bear all these.
One day....as the girl was crossing the road,she didn't notice a lorry's moving fast towards her direction.She walked as her mind was far away."ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........" as the lorry crashes her.
When she regained conscious,all she could see was a dark dim light shinning welcoming her.Her face was wrapped with cloth.She felt pain all over.She walks slowly towards the mirror as she tear the cloth slowly off her face.....!!She found herself staring into a reflection of........a FACE OF DEATH.She had been disfigured over that terrible accident.She looks horrible...and ugly....!She sank as she sobbed miserably.Her family's and friends all gathered round to console her.Just then,a thought struck her.Her beloved boyfriend will never be able to recognise her now.He will hate the sight of her.He will never love her again.She sobbed away....
Her life is back to normal again........She hates the sight of her disfigured face.She destroyed all the mirrors everywhere around her.Yet it pierced her heart everytime she thought of her beloved boyfriend.How is his life now?What would he think when she didn't meet him up as they promised earlier?She didn't picked up his phone.She didn't even reply his mail.He sent her a message saying that he will return in a month's time asking her to pick him up at the airport.She was delight but she can't.She couldn't bear the thought of it..
Finally....the day which she feared has arrive..!!She watched secretly from a corner.She could see her boyfriend coming out.She felt tears running down her face..........she wanted to go near him...but she CAN'T.She could see him looking around everywhere to look for her.She felt sad....!!Just as she was about to leave,the boy caught sight of her shadow.A shadow which seem so close and familiar to him.He runs quickly towards her and caught hold of her.She tried to explain that he has got the wrong person........but finally...she broke down crying "I ve been disfigured.You wouldn't like the sight of me now....we better broke up"..
The boy hugged her "NO...I promised to stay by you forever.I'll never leave you.Sorry to have you suffering for so long!" The girl was touched.She wailed in his arm.From then...life went back to normal.Many of the girl's friend has ask her to go for a plastic surgery.But she refused thinking that the boy will still love her even with her disfigured face.The boy was doing great in his career.And often he has to stay up late to entertain his clients.Although he has swore that he will loved her forever,but the girl still felt uneasy.
She would ring him up every now and second making sure that he still loves her.One day...the boy finally say in an irritate tone,"I told you that i ve an important discussion with someone.Can you please wait till i come back?Please excuse me!" The girl sank as the boy hang up the phone.In a minute,she was up again thinking that the boy really had an important meeting going on.So she decided to meet him up in his office.On the way,she passes by a coffee house.To her amazement,she saw his boyfriend inside.Sitting next to him was a beautiful girl.She could see them talking happily to each other.She cried as she ran away......she was totally disappointed.She picked up her phone suddenly after sorting out her thoughts.She decided to go oversea for a plastic surgery.She left a message asking him for a break up.And she disappear......................
After a few months,she felt the cloth was being removed slowly off her face.As she opened her eye,she found herself staring into a pretty face.She was so touched as she cried.In a short while,she was back again to her own country!!!She did not see her that boy again.People told her that he has left.She was sad for a moment.But she was determined to start over a new life now that she has a new appearance.SHe soon found her own happiness and was married to a guy.She lead a happy life....forgetting all about that boy.
Several months later,she was back in the surgery clinic to do a check up.At there...she saw a man with disfigured face...looking sad and lonely.She clutched his hand saying "I know exactly how you felt.I ve been through this myself.I lost my love over this.But now i ve found my happiness.I wish you lucks for it." The man nodded and silent tears fell down....!The doctor asked"The technology is advance now.Would you like to do a plastic surgery and gain happiness like this lady?" He shook his head...and walked away.

Do you know why?The disfigured man was actually that boy.Remember there is a part saying that the girl saw him talking happily with a girl in the coffee house?The girl was actually a plastic surgery surgeon.The boy was determined to donate his face(skin)to that girl.And he was disfigured.....

WHY?WHY MUST LIFE BE SO UNFAIR?

backstabbers?

well well..first of all...i gotta thank HONOURABLE LORD JESUS for blessing me with a wonderful day!!i slept late last night..so woke up not feeling very happy..!i thought i will fall asleep in sch..but i end up finishing all my works....except for ADD MATHS of coz....!really thank GOD for blessing me.

hmm..as for my day.....it was great at first...!but it turns likewise as my friend,bei bei,was feeling really sad because her friend has been misunderstanding her...and now they seem to hate her...!i know she is trying really hard to forget everything..and i believe she has succeed....!she has stopped crying......that's a real good thing....for i HATE to see my friend's in tear.
but TODAY......she is feeling sad all over again...for she has read her bestfriend's blog last night.........and found out that her friend has been secretly hating her for so long.and all those things she wrote in her blog definitely hurt her!!it was like......................................i really don't know what to say...all i can do is just to lend her my shoulder and try my best to make her LAUGH..........
and the best thing i can do is to take her to cs,MCDONALD....ordered big packets of frenchfries and burgers..
and all 4 of us sat there and started talking and crunching up french fries...........
we talked and talked until we came to the part of BACKSTABBERS.....

i asked my friend "Hey...u guys....tell me honestly..did u ever heard somebody talking bad behind me?anyone at all?"
then my friend said "Yes...i don't wish to tell u about that...but i feel u should know!"then she told me everything...
n my gosh.........those things they ve said behind me....it was like UNBELIEVABLE......(it wasn't a suitable word..but i could think of no other word)
well...actually i knew it right from the start what the others will say behind me....1st is because of me being the president of leo club....2nd is because they were JEALOUS....!
i am not boasting...but i can't help feeling it is TRUE...only those that were feeling jealous will CARI PASAL.for eg...talking bad behind ur back,pouring cold water,telling everyone that u can get higher post because some1 is helping you....I REALLY REALLY HATE THESE KIND OF PERSON...

luckily..i am still strong and has already got used to what those people will likely say....
i ve once been betrayed by my friend..hmm...and a good 1 too....this is the SO-CALLED good friend that i have....BRILLIANT...
still...i got my punishment......i VOWED never to trust anyone so easily again.........except for some very very good friends...................a friend whom will stand by me no matter wad...

once again...i thanks lord jesus for blessing me with a few good and reliable friends......
really feel so grateful to have them.........
let us all forget all our unhappiness and look forward for a much more better day........
may all my friends will stay happy and being blessed ever...
this is a prayer said by the name of honourable LORD JESUS....AMEN.......

yesterday.............

ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
My mood sucks today........really don't know what i should do........!Yesterday's memories is soo sweet to me..!
And i thought i could maintain like this forever........!!I ve forgotten all my troubles..and everything seems so far yesterday.Never did i thought that my 2nd day at school would be so depress and unwanted...i hate school!i hate tuition..!Usually..i love to go tuition..and always can't wait for my tuition day to come....but now...i HATE it...
it SUCKS......................................................................................................................................................
Well...i seem to lose feelings to that particular person whom i hold on for so long.I hate to let this feeling fade away eventhough i knew it very well that nothing will come out in the end.........!!And yet..now i feel nothing about losing these kind of feelings.What's wrong with me?What has happen to me?Has my heart changes?I am not so sure of it.....perhaps it has really change..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it a good thing afterall?But why do i feel so hurt everytime i think of him?It is like twice the hurt which i am afraid to taste.I m sick and tired of the taste.....yet...i know everyone in this whole will have a taste of it.It definitely tastes bitter and not at all nice......!But still...one taste of it will let you remember it for LIFE.
This is kinda a new feeling to me..i can't overcome it.Why didn't i let it grow in the first place?And why did i ignored it at first?If i let it grow in the first place...then all this wouldnt come to me now..

*but if i let you go..i will never know...what my life would be holding you close to me...
will i ever see...you smiling back at me...what will i know...if i LET YOU GO"...


to be continued...

darkness of my life...........

After sacrificing my tears,tolerating critisms from others,being back-stabbed,being scolded,and after so much struggling of hard work,......i finally got what i wanted.....the ALPHA TOP AWARDs....!!The feeling was not what i expected-Happy,joyful,proud,mad,crazy.!!In fact..i felt so empty inside..and all those unexpected feelings rises in me.Now i finally understand how that person felt when he gotten these awards last year.After getting the TOP awards for 3 years,we LOST it last year.We only got the OUTSTANDING awards which can only be consider as the 2nd best.I expect him to be happy for all his hard work has been paid off..and yet his face look sad..and i believe he cried too.
I remembered vividly what he told me before i becomes the incoming president.He remind me to work harder and to fight back the awards again.I was determine to work hard.This was my promised to my Outgoing president.It hurts me to see her crying and feeling so sad!And so...i began to work extra hard for my club after installation......i was determined to get back my TOP club award..
And this year...all my hardwork has been paid off....but yet...i don't feel happy at all..!In fact the atmosphere is so awkward.....!!I don't know how to face those who didn't get the awards.Now......i finally understand how he feels when we did not get the awards.......!!He is feeling bad for us too....and i believe he don't know how to face us....................................................................................................................................................
And so.....NOW...here i am sitting here...facing the same,old problem that he faced last year...!!I really,
truly felt sorry for those who can't get the awards.!I ve to admit...that i ve always aimed for TOP and not OUTSTANDING.It was a pressure that my president gave me.She pin her hopes on me...and i can't let her down.I really don't wanna the other clubs to think small of themselve...i want them to treat us like before...!A good friend to them.
Friendship means the most in my life............!!And i really don't want the TOP awards to ruin everything.
Now the award is like a monster to me...i HATE it...............!!Return me back EVERYTHING....return me my HAPPINESS...my SMILE.....and everything...............