The sour feeling of my heart...right after Graduation day...T.T!!

Hmm...how should i start??...or i should say that this piece of blog should be written long long ago.but then..i was damn lazy to do so......and so..i ended up typing it yesterday.again(BUT).....something happened to my dear computer.........and everything was deleted.and so...i have to sit still infront of my computer today and typing it out once again........................
aiks...right!!back to the main topic...."Sour feeling of my heart"....
well..it all started because of "Graduation Day" or our school called it "Sejambak Kasih" which was held on 27th October 2007.!it was a tradition of our school.SMK SETA.to have it every year as a celebration for the form 5 girls.and to take this opportunity to express our gratitude to all the teachers.!i was the school photographer last year.so i was asked to witness this event.at first i don't see advantages and meaning of having this event.all i knew is that this is a silly event.wasting money and time.creating chances for those students to dress up nicely........having make-up all over,stepping into the hall.......receiving their certificates and souveniours...eating...!!of cause we think like that.cause the lower form will have to serve those graduating seniors.what bored.....

and so........this year........i change my perspective for this meaningful event.it is true that we gotta pay for it.but...............from the bottom of my heart..it really worth it.several days before this event,each form 5 classes were asked to make a video of our own classes.and so..we were all busy shooting pictures of each other.for the first time..i finally realised that i gonna say "good-bye" to this school soon....so i treasure every moment.go window shopping with my friends....deciding what to wear for sejambak kasih.it was really so great.
finally...it was the DAY!!the moment i stepped near my school...what a sight!!!everyone looked so gorgeous..........my goodness.i really must take their picture as remembrance...
our monitor took our attendance.although our class theme is known as "BLINK"..but i don't think any of us has actually follow close to the theme.there goes the same as 5A....with the theme"Glamourous".....
we were asked to line up in 2 rows....!why should 5B line up first whilst 5A were happily standing behind?we were shocked when those prefects asked us to take the lead first.we just followed blindly.as we stepped into the hall...gracious..i nearly cried.i can see all the teachers lining up...in rows..clapping their hands vigorously....just to welcome us.gosh...............we don't deserve these...!last year was not like that..!they treat us just like....hmm..just like TREASURE.!!
we sat infront right near to teachers.....then everything is just the same.speeches...,receiving cert..having great feast.just that..this year is totally different from the previous years....!!never did i appreciate our school hall as much as that day....and never did i felt so sad about gonna leave school soon.....!!we took as mny pictures as we can.....and the day ended like this...

now.......right after graduation day...i knew my days in school...are getting lesser and lesser....
so all of us stick together as much as we can.we treasure every moment together.taking pictures.telling jokes.planning about our future.it sounds so great.we ignored the facts that we might not have the chances to meet each other again....!!2 weeks in school right after graduation day...sounded so long and boring.but the facts is that i really enjoyed every single moment of all.

it lasted until monday,5th November 2007,which was our last SCHOOL DAY in SMK SETA.the whole day sounds the same.taking pictures.talking......and etc.until we were asked to go to the hall...for our last taklimat before SPM starts next week.when i found my place in the hall...whoaa...i was surprised to see my grandma(Hebe Ting)..sitting so near to me..yeah!!at least i won't feel so tension...!she was glad too.....wualalala....
Puan yeong gave us taklimat...!!and i was beginning to felt uneasy when i saw all the teachers who had taught us for 2 years sitting nicely in a row on the stage.........
it was 12++pm...when our penolong kanan,Puan Raziah gave us a short speech..then she asked us to go up on stage to apologise and to thank the teacher.i was beginning to feel sad.........

jing shan and vonne accompany me to look for our BM teacher,Puan Chan.she was the first person whom i wanna apologise to....for we really did her wrong.for eg...not paying attention in her class....,ignoring her....,upsetting her. by not doing homework...and a lot more.eventhough we creates troubles...but she is really the teacher that we loved the most...!!we saw her at a distance......then we crowded round her...!she shaked hand with us plus the word "All the best!".
i was holding back my tears...when puan chan suddenly say "Lee hong sudah nak nangis.jangan nangis"........just as that...my tears flow out automatically.Puan chan just hugged me close to her while consoling me.i knew she was holding back her tears.i am sorry teacher...but i just can't control my tears.........

then we went up the stage and saw Puan Lee(bio),Puan Tan(add maths) and Puan Yeong(physics).again..we shaked hands...the teachers were telling us all those words again "All the best.....i will miss you all".and just as i was calming down..when Puan Lee pat me and say "Lee hong...don't worry la...you can do it...study hard ya"....!again i felt near to tears again.
then i saw our club advisor..Puan Thamil Selvi....!she exclaimed loudly " Lee hong...i really will miss you la..the best president...!oh no...and our leo club will really miss you too....all the best!!".
i don't know if i felt touched or what.....but this is the first time i ever heard such words from her...
finally i found my form teacher,Puan Siti Mahani.she hugged me close and whispered "Lee hong..Lee Hong...don't repeat the same mistakes again.good luck and all the best.."i really couldn't stop crying now.they were all good teachers actually.just that we didn't know how to appreciate them.
i can see most students crying now..!!we hugged each other while apologising........!i really hate all these kind of farewell scene.we cried while hugging each other......really can't bear to leave them.............................
our eyes were swollen by the time the bell rings for dismissed......!!i was like pretending not to answer kelly and vonny when they called after me.sorry.........i just hate this kind of scene.....
but they manage to catch after my bus.and i gave them each a HIGH 5.then i can't stop crying again..throughout the whole journey home...!!it was really a crying day for all of us.

there is one thing i never say..not because i don't care.although i might hurt anyone of you unexpectedly..but i really appreciate the times when we had been together...sharing all our joys and happiness as well as all our ups and downs....!we are friends forever...i really love you guys.....thanks for being my friends........

to my S.H.E(selina bear,hebe ting and ella hong)members....we are sisters forever...!sorry if i ever hurt anyone of you...!!you guys know me.....!!we will always be S.H.E forever.eventhough gonna leave this freaking school soon.but still...we are the best.....!too many thing to say...but don't know how to put it in words...i only can say..........All the best...and may our friendship last forever...

to my P.L.K.N(pan,loh,kwan and ng)members....we will always be the fantastic four that sticks together.without you guys...my time at 5B will never be as fun as this...!!never forget all our happy moments in class and as well as all our jokes....!!may our friendship last forever too.

to all my buddies and friends...fang,yng,soo hui,sultan,cousin brota,jasmine,all 5B girls and as well as all my friends/tuiton friends or anyone...............you know who you are...(unless you don't treat me as your friend).
thanks for being my friends.and thanks for being a friend too.some has become my advisor.some has become my listener.some has seen the weakest side of me.some has been standing up for me.i really appreciate all these.thanks for spilling all beautiful colours of rainbow into my life....!!without you guys...my life would never be as colourful as this...

to my dearest dearest LEO's....vonny,kelly(baobei) ,fishy and as well as all my members....!thanks so much for being a leo.you guys has really earned my respect and my urgeness for pinning high hopes towards you.eventhough i never praise you guys openly and never seem to care much for you guys,but all i wanna say is that "I REALLY,TRULY DO FEEL PROUD OF YOU ALL"..................you guys did marvellous jobs.EXCELLENT!!thanks for being so patient and tolerating during my undertaking for year 06/07.i can't thank you guys enough.without you guys....Leo will never be the same.carry our leo flag high and do it proud.serve the community with true and sincere heart.gaining award is an honour for our club.but that should come in second.eventhough it is important...but we must at least serve with sincere heart before we think about awards stuff...!!this is the only advise that i can give you all.shine out your eyes and be alert towards the surrounding.what other says is none of our concern.the matter is..we knew who we are....and we knew our strength and capability.nevermind about how others look upon us.the facts is that...we must all bond together and trusted in ourselve.you know why i chose you..that is because i knew you guys can do it a million times better than i do.the conclusion is...you guys are the best and you did better than i do.so keep it up....ROAR!ROAR!ROAR!

to all my primary school mates./sisters./buddies........shi hui,sophia,kai lyn,irene,christine,siew wen,soobrinah,raechel,swee yee,paul,jiken,yue jing,bernard,victor,andrew,jaya,asrul and..................!!you guys are my best best tomodachi ever.......the best gang....the best class(6 ORKID),.greatest memories...!i really love you guys....remember how we once stick together when troubles occurs??......we never leave anyone of us...!i can never forget all our jokes and sweetest memories that we all created and shared.all this will goes on forever.i misses you guys lots....!we can never predict what will happen in the near future,but what i can predict is that our miraculously friendship will last forever and ever......................love you guys..muack... LONG LIVE SSU....and LONG LIVE 6 ORKID....

lastly...to my dearest dearest gua gua club.....i really love you guys....!!every single one of you..
you guys are the best.....ah shuan,ah wa,ah mei,tee hong,tee hui,tee en&....!thanks for creating happiness in my life.life has never been dull without you guys.i believe we will stick together for life...............!!jia you...you are all my dearest brothers and sisters.......!!i will miss you guys lots...!!

to all my tomodachi....all the best in the near future...may god bless you guys with joys and happiness as well as leading you to his path of glory....!!take care everyone...!!to all the SPM candidates...best of lucks...gambateh...we strive till the end.........................

omg.......i really hate you...

hmm.....according to my title above....for sure...this is another piece of my so-called "VENTING ANGER" blog.
so...if anyone can't stand it or hate to see any violent/vulgar words.............then i warned you to get away as far as possible......!!for i am in a real foul mood right now.....!!i really must vent out this anger from the bottom of my heart......
actually i was in a very very good mood today....but WHY do you have to let me see that SUCK up face of yours?
i ve been tolerating you for so long.for your ridiculous + emotional mood and characters.as i mention in those previous blog..when you are happy...you expect people to be happy too no matter how sad or angry people are...!but when YOU,yourself is in bad mood..........then you expect people to be as moody as you.what the hell is this????bloody shit la!!you,yourself hate those guys then you hate la..!why do you have to ask people to hate them along with you?you always put me in a very bad spot.
FUCKER..........who do you think you are??i gave in to you just because we ve been friends for so long.when you flares up ridiculously and ignored me for nothing,.....i apologised not because i admit i was wrong.that is because i know you are not rational enough to think positively.
but lately....you ve been treating me like your dog.as though i am a real,live dog and you are the master.always ordering me to tag behind you.only you are the one that can be angry while others can't.and only you are the one that can be angry with others.you can offend others but other people can't offend you.what kind of idiotic law is this??and who are you to expect me to obey this kind of fucking law?i don't remember i have got any relationship with you.
and then you will always tell others that i am ignoring you la...always look angry...!MAHAI la......yes.it is true..!i always look angry.and i don't wanna talk to you.but so what??please find out clearly about the cause first then only you make those LAMEK conclusion.
you are always treating people like invisible...!!when your friends are gone only you will come..rushing...smiling...and being friendly with me..!I HATE YOU....I HATE YOU...!!why do i have to know you?you were not like that during primary school times...
i know you are under a great pressure.maybe study stress or what.....
but can you please be considerate a bit???
stop treating people like invisible.....!if it is so hard...then just say so....i can disappear in front of you!!stop making people feel bad....and then acted innocent somemore..!what the hell??mother fucker....
i really can't stand it anymore....to think i thought you are very considerate and caring...and thoughtful.bullshit........................you are not the same person anymore.....not now..and not ever....
don't try to spoilt my last few weeks in school........!!and i won't have you spoiling my greatest moments of all..
so just bear in mind that....i won't be the one to say SORRY or start the conversation first whenever you start that ridiculous mood of yours.........but allow me to mention one more time.....I HATE YOU..........!!!....

okla...i ve finished venting my anger...feeling much much better now.......SORRY....although i ve been writing about things that are definitely not nice to read or to hear.....but seriously...i don't mean it..!i don't mean anything at all...just wanna let out that miserable feeling of mine....since i can't tell it straight to that person.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
trust me....that person above is still my friend and buddy...........and always will be....friends forver.......

friends..........if you guys ever read this piece.........just read it silently will you??
never speak about it to anyone eventhough you guys might guess who is it....thanks a lot...

may lord jesus bless you guys a great day.............AMEN.....

what's wrong with me??

aiks...nowadays..i really don't know what has happened to me?
i am not like myself lately...!!don't wish to talk....gets irritated easily...
i don't think it is because of exams...............for i don't usually have exam stress..

friends??hmm..maybe "THEY" are the cause...
hmm...nowadays i really gets so fed up with lots of people telling me "hey...how ar?exam leh...i DID'NT even touch the books.." or something like "oh my god..i am so stupid...arhhh how?i can't remember a stuff "
well..all i can say is that all these are RUBBISHES,EXCUSES AND FIDDLESTICKS!!
how can anyone be so clever without working hard or studying?
all rubbishes and excuses??i hate anyone telling me that...........why can't you just be honest and said "yes..i did study at home.i worked so hard!".........
hey...do you guys know that by making excuses like that will make people feel bad and small?after saying "din study lar" or "i am so stupid",then you produced excellent results!!fiddlestick!!!!!i am honest.if i say i DIDN'T study means i DID NOT.at least i am not as dishonest as you.and yet....some of them are so selfish.they actually know the ways of studying....and have got tips for it.yet....they refuses to share it.like afraid that people might surpass them.my gosh....can you guys have some common sense?
we are born to compete with ourselve....and not others...
i am not even dreaming to compete with you...come on la..i know my limit ok?

and my friends?lately i felt as if i am drifting far away from them.....from the gang i used to hang out with...............!!maybe because we are lack of topics or what.i don't feel like joining their conversation.sometimes i can't even connect to what they are talking about.so i pretty much leave them alone.sad to think of it.i don't really want things to be in this way......but i really can't help saying that...you guys make me like this.and i don't want to deny that i treat this kind of situation as "you guys are ignoring me!"
guys...i really don't want to think like that.
but it can't be help..!!the facts is that i can't connect what you guys are talking about.
and for other purposes...or i can say...my other gang of friends...hmm...worst.i felt as if like i am a ball being push around.or in clearer way.....when you feel like talking..then you talk to me...and when you are in no mood,then you ignored me..as if i am the cause to make you in such state.please la..i am really tired.i am a human too.i don't have to please you or go according your ways.i feel as if i am a DOG........having to follow your orders.....listening to your commands,have to please you..,tolerate your craziness + ridiculous ways...!!NO WAY...iam tired of it......

and please let me say it our of ANGER...... I HATE YOU GUYS..I HATE YOU GUYS...ARHHHHHHHHHHHHH..
i feel like stranggling you all......arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

okok...now i feel so much better after pouring everything out and venting my anger..
though it hurts.......but we are still friends...the BEST gang ever..WE RAWKZZ...!!!!forgive me for this piece of blog....but i just feel like typing it out..
whenever i feel sad...i will think of my old classmates.......!they will never never treat me like this...
i really,truly misses you guys.....friends from SSU...especially 6 ORKID..!sometimes i wonder..if all of us did not leave SSU,then perhaps we will have real fun...and i can GUARANTEE that this kind of situation will not occur.i really missed you all.............sob sob....you guys are forever in my heart....the best TOMODACHI ever!!and our best gang of 6 ORKID-sophia,shi hui,kai lyn,irene,christine,soobrinah,raechel,siew wen,paul,ji ken,andrew,pang,asrul,jaya,swee yee,victor,bernard,yue jing and of cause ME...
we are the best...we are the best.....................love you guys..muackzz..
yeah....i am HAPPY again............

life is really cruel...!

many things can happen in just one day.......................!!to me,i always tries hard to think positively in whatever condition!!but recently,i feels tat life is getting worst!!people were asked to relax and be optimistic ..
but sometimes,in certain condition,you just can't do it.this is how tears are formed...................!

sometimes,,i wonder if...GOD really do keep on watch over us??why must misfortune falls on someone who is kind and innocent?it is really too bad.such tragic should never ever happen to someone like that.HEAVEN is so unfair...........!!i know i should look on the bright side that GOD wants her more......!but still i really cant accept the fact.Yu Min is always one of my greatest buddy.she is one of the most gentle and sweetest girl.always wore a smile on her face........and is nice to everyone.I know her since form 2...and got closed with her in form3,where we were both librarians.she is really a good friend.never involved in any misunderstandings and quarrellings.i know that she had a strong bond between her and her mum.she used to say that she can't bear to leave her mum even for one night,whenever we asked her to stay overnight for a late gatherings.it is getting near SPM...all of us have planned to go for a trip together.surprisingly,yu min has agreed too.but why?why must all these happened?i know i can't change the outcomes..........but it really hurts me to think that yu min will be alone without her mum beside her.she is still a child to her mum.she hasn't really grown....................!!i know she will be hit very hard.i really want to help her.but what can i do?

Dearest,Honourable Lord Jesus,
ive come to pray upon you sincerely with all my heart.please say that you will listen to my prayer.before i go on,i thank you whole-heartedly for sacrificing yourself for all the sins that we've done.
Honourable Lord,believe in GOD will grant us an eternal life.i am sure you have a good reason for everything decision and arrangement that you ve made.i am willing to trust you......................
Yu min's mum,aunty chua,is a nice lady.she is as cheerful as yu min.always wore a smile on her face.she is a nice lady to chat with.i met her during form 3 time.it was raining season..................and heavy rain falls just before we can go pass the school gate.and there was aunty chua,who was a helpful lady,said to me"oh my..aunty really can't bear to see you walking in the rain.come on up...i can at least send you to the bus-stop,"..
i was really touched.and so i gladly got onto the car.but still,heavy rain pours outside........!!all along the way,i realised that aunty chua is really a nice person to chat with.without realising,she has sent me back to my home eventhough she lived so far away.i was feeling grateful............!and so,she has always left me a great impression..and i always known her as a"kind and cheerful" lady.
i never thought that wednesday,26th september 2007,was the last time i can see her.tragic falls upon her.i can hardly believe thats such a nice lady will leave just like that.
Please...Lord....if you are listening,,,........please grant her an eternal life.i know you have a good reason for all these arrangement......!!please grant that she wil lead a real,happy life in heaven.what's more,please do say you will watch over her family...and may they stay strong for their future life.....from now and always.....

this was a prayer said by the name of Lord Jesus....AMEN....

the story of her life....

Once,there is a girl who has just entered her secondary life.She used to be in an Over-protected school,where everything is done for her.There goes the same at home.She does not have to bother herself about house chores,school projects not done,homeworks not done,or having no transport back home or whatever is it that most human will usually bother about.She lead a happy life and spent a happy 6 years during her primary school time where she met her friends,her crush and everything.Though she met problems like quarrelling with friends,fighting over silly matters............but all these problems are consider silly and minor if we compare it with other school's students who are not that fortunate.This girl has hard tempered too.That is the only worst point of her for she is not the one who can controls her temper.She will flare up unnecessary..and she is an easily jealous person.She can be mean...!she can be kind and good too...if she wants to.Nobody knows the real side of her.Not even her real good friends and family.She doesnt want anyone to know the real HER.Overall,she did gained a good and sweet childhood memories,during her primary school time......!she treasured friendships..too....!And it can't be deny that she is really having a good time in her primary school life.The spirit of harmonious can be found in students.And no matter whatever problems or conflict occurs,a word of "SORRY" can solved everything.
She is just a girl of age 13,the one who has a straightforward and naive thinking.She was naived to think that secondary school life will be just the same as her primary school!And thus she wasnt prepare for all the things that might occurs.She lefted all her primary school friends and came into a world which is totally strange and unknown to her.And then she realised that in this monstrous school,everything has to be done by herself.She has to have courages to defend for herself when troubles falls on her.For friends in secondary school is totally different from friends in primary school."SORRY " and "IT IS OK" is not the solution to those problems any longer.Friends in secondary school are definitely less friendly.She is not having comfortable school life like before.For once,she has to take school bus to school,that she has never try before in her life.Of course the feeling is not as comfortable as her high class van that used to be her only transport to school.Slowly,she has got used to her secondary life.Her characters has changed.She becomes stronger and even more independent.Then she began to notice the things around her.
Her eyes wandered off....and it met a pair of eyes....the one which she will never ever forgets.She met his eyes.It was such a beautiful one........................!!She got to know this guy.......!And she knows that her life has started to change.Did she run away from it?Nope.She fight this war herself.She has met lots of people and faces conflict.Still..life is going on.She is not falling down just because of this.It can't be deny that she is happy to have met him...but she admitted the pain that she has gone through.
HE??He is a guy of cause..!!He is a popular guy and extremely smart.He has good look.An angel outside if you do not know the inner part of him.He too...is similar like her....where nobody knows the real and true side of them.She does not know him well...for he seldom talk about his stuffs.He wanted her help to chase a friend of "hers".That is how they got to know each other.She can feel his sincerity towards her friend.This is why she agrees to help him.But she doesn't know that being kind in this aspect doesn't bring her good.Infact,she tortured herself by falling for him.It pierced her heart when she sees the pain in his eyes after being rejected by her friend.But all she can do is just to console him and advice him to move on.She doesn't know if it this method works or not.All i know is that she has never tell him how she feels towards him.She has kept this forbidden feeling for long.Nobody knows it.She has hope to tell him.But her heart doesn't allow her to.
A year passes quickly.A new year begins again..!She is entering her 2nd year of her secondary life.She met him again.This time,he is like a total stranger to her.She doesn't know him at all...!!She is even sadder when she finds him changing into another person.The usual him is no longer there...........!!He has turn into a play boy.!!Chasing nearly every single girls that he could get hold of.He is turning into a beast too.......!It breaks her heart.But what can she do?......He totally ignore her....forgetting that she has been the one that is willing to help him...and the one who trusted in him although many people are against him.She was leading her own life while he was leading his own life....................!They both go separate ways.....just like they had never met each other before.She tries to forget all about him.........but how can this be done so easily?He has changed completely.He broke the heart of many girls.But he always gave her a sorry look.....
It was until a day when the boy finally confessed to her.It was a day which she has been secretly hoping for long.She hesitated for a while.And then she finally accepted him.It could have be a happy ending.But this doesn't last for long.For she can see his characters even clearer.Everything goes well at first.He cares for er.After a few weeks,she found out that He is still a play boy after all...........!But she,being stupid,didn't want to admit it at all.She trusted him too much.And tends to cover all his mistakes.She believes whole-heartedly that she still meant something to him.She finally broke down when she received a message from him asking her to hide their relationship....saying that he doesn't want so many GIRLS to know it.Now,she knew that she doens't mean a damn in his heart.And yet,she was still as stupid as ever.........hugging her hp while waiting for his messages each day and night.His messages are getting lesser and lesser each day.Sometimes it was once in a week...and sometimes even worst,once a few months,and then none at all.She finally accepted the facts that it was time for her to move on.It isn't worth lingering over someone who doesn't care a damn for you.She has almost recover from her wounds when she received a shocking and hurting news from her friends that HE told them that it was HER who has been pestering him for long.And that he doesn't care a damn about her at all...!What a news..!!!It broke her heart for long........!!
But all the same,this has taught her a lesson.She won't trust boys that easily now.She is getting stronger and yet she does feel stupid whenever she thought of how she has been fooled by him before....!SHe is leading a happy life now as a new person............


The story has come to an end.....and i am not ashamed to admit that I am the stupid "SHE" mentioned above.
This experience has taught me a lesson.And you will be glad to know that i ve gotten over this long ago.And i am leading a satisfactory life now....full of happiness and friends....!It is just the kind of life that i want..

i m back again..

...HIHI...i am back again to my world of dark parade...
a great friend of mine,Sufee says that my blog is full of spider webs..................!!so that is the reason why i am back again....!for a spring cleaning lo....muahaha......

well well..life is damn miserable....!because trial exams are still going on.......!i hate all those 7 letter words subjects. for eg....S.E.J.A.R.A.H and B.I.O.L.O.G.Y..............ewwww...i totally hate memorising...!i wonder can i study just Chemistry?then maybe my results will look good..................!

yesterday is really a bad day for everyone!!we started our sejarah 1 at 7.45am.i hate sejarah.so no matter what,i just won't read it.so i am well-prepared to do a bad paper.exactly sharp at 8.00am,i can see my friends all heads dropping on their table.haha........i wonder how in the earth they can study so lightly and efficiently.
aiks....i dozed off too.but of cause it is not that comfortable to sleep with your head on the table.....i can't wait for 8.45 am to arrive when my teacher collected all those freaking papers..................

then i knew i gonna die in my sejarah2...!and of cause i wan right....!i couldn't answer from the 1st question.and it was the PROUDEST moment for me.so i just scribble whatever i could think of.when i looked at the time,it was only 11.00am.oh my god...i got an hour and the half left to sleep.i really can't do anything about it.so i can just sleep....!everyone was not in a good mood after the exam.some were near to tears...and some were just feeling sad and moody.of cause i am one of them.but it doesn't last long..................!cause i ve invented a way of venting my anger.EATING FRENCH FRIES AND ICE-CREAM.......

then something complicated stuffs happened that makes me even more moody.wanna know what has actually happened?narhh...i lazy to type.i refused to talk to my friends in tuition.they are wondering what's wrong with me.i told them it is all because of my sejarah paper.but actually it was not.i am upset about them.but they will never know.....!!narhh...serve them right for it......!!

then i was happily..sitting in that old man class....trying to concentrate.!but my GOOD GOOD friends,sufee and shawn were both laughing at me for being selected to go NS..!!..whoaa...such great friends i ve got.so touched...muahaahaha...!thanks for bullying me ya...u guys......!!i will have it out with you guys some other day.after i am trained...to be even more stronger...
but i know they were joking...!so i just acted along with them...................!!

overall............i felt extremely happy....when Mr Lim came in....muahaha....!!it was time for chemistry....whoaaa....damn nice....!!

aiks...meanwhile...it wun last long...for exam is still on...and i hope i can last out till the last day of exam..before i can finally jump up and down....
till here........................

Why must life be so cruel?

A nice story to share..

Let me take you back to fairytale land................................those sweet and touching fairytales that everyone loves....
Once upon a time......there is a very very pretty girl who lives in a village.Every boys in that village had a crush on her for she was too beautiful and attractive.Although she is pretty,but she has a kind heart and is never proud of her good look.
One day...she found a strange mask on her way home.Feeling curious,she decided to wear it.Just to see how she look.After wearing it,she felt uneasy.She tries to take off the mask...but she can't.It was fastened tightly on her face.
She rushed home to looked at herself in the mirror.To her horror,she found that she has a horrible look.It was like a "FACE OF DEATH".She was not pretty like last time she used to be.People hates the sight of her for she looked terrible and horrible.And so,she was sad and lonely.Gradually,she got used to her masked life eventhough she still hates that mask round her face.
It was until one day,when a handsome boy comes to live in the village.All the girls worshipped him.Yes..including that GIRL.But all she could do is to hide away..and watched him silently.She felt sorrow and empty.Surprisingly,after watching him for so long.......he finally walked towards her one fine afternoon.She felt her hearts thumping fast.She tries to run away....but he caught hold of her nicely.He whispered something in her ear.Just at that moment,the masked which she has fear for life drops off miraculously.She felt tears of happiness running down her face as she hugged that boy.....

Actually can't think of what word is that?..................a real suspense....
OKOK...STOP......NOW..LET ME TAKE YOU BACK TO THE STORY...which i would like you all to share...

Hmm...again..i started off with....ONCE UPON A TIME....there was a pair of lover who are very much in love with each other!!The boy was understanding and promising while the girl often thought she is very lucky to have him.They were in the same class and form from their secondary school up to high school.Although they will have misunderstandings and pickerings like normal couples do,but all these quarrels has made their relationship even firmer.They never thought of leaving each other.And can't even bear to imagine their life without each other.They did everything together and even attended the same college,same course.The boy was excellent while the girl was not bad too..!The boy achieved outstanding results......
It was until one day,when the boy received a letter urging him to go oversea to further his studies.Although unbearable,but the boy has his own dream.He promised her that he will be back in 2 years time asking her not to forget him.The girl hugged him with a smile saying "No matter where you are,i will always be here waiting for your return." They hugged each other for a long time..each bearing the pain at not being able to see each other for 2 years.
During the time he was away,the girl found it hard not to mind anything at all.She misses him terribly.They can only send their love through mail and phone calls.He misses her too.But still..they have to bear all these.
One day....as the girl was crossing the road,she didn't notice a lorry's moving fast towards her direction.She walked as her mind was far away."ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........" as the lorry crashes her.
When she regained conscious,all she could see was a dark dim light shinning welcoming her.Her face was wrapped with cloth.She felt pain all over.She walks slowly towards the mirror as she tear the cloth slowly off her face.....!!She found herself staring into a reflection of........a FACE OF DEATH.She had been disfigured over that terrible accident.She looks horrible...and ugly....!She sank as she sobbed miserably.Her family's and friends all gathered round to console her.Just then,a thought struck her.Her beloved boyfriend will never be able to recognise her now.He will hate the sight of her.He will never love her again.She sobbed away....
Her life is back to normal again........She hates the sight of her disfigured face.She destroyed all the mirrors everywhere around her.Yet it pierced her heart everytime she thought of her beloved boyfriend.How is his life now?What would he think when she didn't meet him up as they promised earlier?She didn't picked up his phone.She didn't even reply his mail.He sent her a message saying that he will return in a month's time asking her to pick him up at the airport.She was delight but she can't.She couldn't bear the thought of it..
Finally....the day which she feared has arrive..!!She watched secretly from a corner.She could see her boyfriend coming out.She felt tears running down her face..........she wanted to go near him...but she CAN'T.She could see him looking around everywhere to look for her.She felt sad....!!Just as she was about to leave,the boy caught sight of her shadow.A shadow which seem so close and familiar to him.He runs quickly towards her and caught hold of her.She tried to explain that he has got the wrong person........but finally...she broke down crying "I ve been disfigured.You wouldn't like the sight of me now....we better broke up"..
The boy hugged her "NO...I promised to stay by you forever.I'll never leave you.Sorry to have you suffering for so long!" The girl was touched.She wailed in his arm.From then...life went back to normal.Many of the girl's friend has ask her to go for a plastic surgery.But she refused thinking that the boy will still love her even with her disfigured face.The boy was doing great in his career.And often he has to stay up late to entertain his clients.Although he has swore that he will loved her forever,but the girl still felt uneasy.
She would ring him up every now and second making sure that he still loves her.One day...the boy finally say in an irritate tone,"I told you that i ve an important discussion with someone.Can you please wait till i come back?Please excuse me!" The girl sank as the boy hang up the phone.In a minute,she was up again thinking that the boy really had an important meeting going on.So she decided to meet him up in his office.On the way,she passes by a coffee house.To her amazement,she saw his boyfriend inside.Sitting next to him was a beautiful girl.She could see them talking happily to each other.She cried as she ran away......she was totally disappointed.She picked up her phone suddenly after sorting out her thoughts.She decided to go oversea for a plastic surgery.She left a message asking him for a break up.And she disappear......................
After a few months,she felt the cloth was being removed slowly off her face.As she opened her eye,she found herself staring into a pretty face.She was so touched as she cried.In a short while,she was back again to her own country!!!She did not see her that boy again.People told her that he has left.She was sad for a moment.But she was determined to start over a new life now that she has a new appearance.SHe soon found her own happiness and was married to a guy.She lead a happy life....forgetting all about that boy.
Several months later,she was back in the surgery clinic to do a check up.At there...she saw a man with disfigured face...looking sad and lonely.She clutched his hand saying "I know exactly how you felt.I ve been through this myself.I lost my love over this.But now i ve found my happiness.I wish you lucks for it." The man nodded and silent tears fell down....!The doctor asked"The technology is advance now.Would you like to do a plastic surgery and gain happiness like this lady?" He shook his head...and walked away.

Do you know why?The disfigured man was actually that boy.Remember there is a part saying that the girl saw him talking happily with a girl in the coffee house?The girl was actually a plastic surgery surgeon.The boy was determined to donate his face(skin)to that girl.And he was disfigured.....

WHY?WHY MUST LIFE BE SO UNFAIR?