Unlocked the enclosed piece of my diary....(Secretly Loving You)

hey hey...well..don't know why?maybe because my days in GreenField Resort are so damn boring,so i am so so so in love in drafting or writing nowadays!but i won't write about NS stuffs anymore.cause i ve got something better to share with you guys.well...during my days in camp,i ve brought along with me this piece of diary.and goodness know where did i get such a big courage to show this piece to my friends and buddies there.i thought i will be laugh by them...but surprisingly,they enjoyed reading it and has given me good comments.thanks Sister Lam and Rainbow as well as my other camp friends. And thanks a lot too...Ting...for reading my stories each time.well well...as i have permitted the others to read it...so why not i post it up to share with you guys. actually i did written about this person in my wretch blog...but i didn't mean to tell anyone who is it...and i just used the word "HE".many has tried to guess this person but failed.ENCLOSED piece of my diary.and now i am UNLOCKING it.!!enjoy it...

Secretly Loving You....................

It started on the 29th of December 2006, Friday,2.30pm,in Mr Charm's physics tuition class in Omega. I don't really remmeber or know how i started my conversation with you. All i know is that i had never seen you before in my life until that day.

You sat in front of me...and next to a malay good friend/buddy of mine, Sufee!You are quiet at first. You talk softly to Sufee.I don't find you interesting or handsome. Just know that you have a pair of beautiful eyes. You turn out to be extremely smart. Answering every single questions that Mr Charm asked. I was impressed. I remembered my friend, Li Fang kept on praising you. But we don't know where you come from. It was until Mr Charm took the attendance, then i knew your name is "Shawn". You did talk to me. But mostly because of tuition work.

The 2 hours in class passes quickly. Don't know why, but i felt so unbearable when 4.30pm comes and i have to say Goodbye.That's because i realized you are taking the next chemistry class too. Due to the late registeration, i can't get to enter Mr Lim's class. So i have to say Goodbye somehow.

In school, according to Li Fang, you were still excellent in that Chemistry class. It makes me feel like wanting to know you more. Mostly because i don't want to be left out. So in the second week, that's when school has started, i don't know that my other friend, Wey Yng will come into the same class as us. So i was left sitting alone behind. Soon i got fed up,so i moved infront of them and sat just behind you and Sufee. I get to know you more and found out that you are actually from English College (EC). Oh my god!!!I can't believe it. As usual, Fang began to change her behaviour towards you after knowing you are from that school. You seem uncomfortable seeing our reaction. But was still friendly towards me.You are always laughing at my terrible drawing of graphs. Because of you...Sufee tends to make fun of me too.You are ready to share all news with me. We did have a good time that day.

Then miracle comes, for i manage to enter the next Chemistry class. HURRAY!!!I can stay together with my friends without being left alone and most importantly, i can get closer to you. I don't know what's wrong with me. But i hate anyone to be close to you. I even asked my friend about you.He is just getting annoyed. Maybe because there is a reason for me to do so. I admit that there were motives for me to get close to you. And that is to find out why EC guys hates SETA girls so much.And why must EC guys talks so badly of SETA girls. But...i never know that....one thing will lead to another. I get to know you more and realized that you are actually a friendly and talkative person. I realized that we gets along well...especially when it lefts the 3 of us (Sufee, You and Me). We did have a good time together. But i knew you already had a girlfriend.

I don't even know when did i start having special feelings towards you. I don't even know if it is a feeling of admire or friendlike or that i really like you? Maybe this feeling comes naturally without knowing it.It is until Valentine's season, i forced you to buy dedication from my club. You hesitate but i won in the end. You were troubling whether to let me know your secret or not. But you did in the end. And i am the only one who knows it.You asked me not to tell anyone....and of cause i won't.Do you know how happy i am to be able to earn your trust?Even Sufee also don't know anything.And because of this, we were able to exchange phone numbers. I was like damn happy.Then slowly, i realized i do like you. Not because of your look.Your personalities makes me like you. Shu Jun is really lucky to have you. I envied her without feeling jealous of her.

Our friendship has blossomed tremendously. We becomes good friend,buddies and brother.But Fang and Yng still dislike you. And of cause i can't tell them about my feeling towards you.I ignored them and befriended you all the same.You are very understanding.Remembered vividly during a day,somewhere around march 2007......i cried because of I.U Day's stuffs.Too much problems occurred that time. You did not question me any further but handed me a packet of tissue. You tried not to question and asked Sufee not to disturb me. I was touched at that moment. Thanks a lot Shawn!You are a great friend.Tell me...how can i bear myself to hate you?How can i bear myself to ignore you?

I am always hoping to see you. Every Friday has becomes my favourite day of the week. The usual lazy me has suddenly became so hardworking. And it is all because of YOU!Really hope to tell you my feeling.But i care too much of our unexpected brotherly-friendship already.I believe friendship's are rare to find.So i rather sacrifies my special feelings towards you.

SHAWN!!!!Can you promise me one thing?If one day, i mean if one day, you found out my feelings for you, can you promise me that you will not avoid me? Can you promise me that you will still be my FRIEND?I really don't want to lose our friendly. I hope you can understand. If my confession means the loss of our friendship,i would rather sacrifies all these.I know i can only maintained this "Secretly Loving You" feeling...and i believe i can get use to it. Soon.....this feeling will fade....just like it comes naturally and face naturally...!!But promise me......that you will never avoid me!!Please say that you will be my friend forever.....and ever..........

THE END.....OF MY DIARY....................

haha...i don't think it is "Secretly Loving You" anymore.....for i ve unlocked it!!since there are not much people who knows about this blog...so i am relieved.for i know my loyal readers won't betray me...hahax..

ps: to Baobei aka kelly.......narhhh...this is what you would want to know.still remembered how you shout out his name last year?at omega??you make me felt so embarassed.didn't you know there were 2 person with the name SHAWN??and you ve called the wrong person.ishh.......it is SHAWN TAN that i admire...not SHAWN CHNG!aiyerr....a lot of SSI students thought i like SHAWN CHNG lor...eversince you shout that time.whack you arr....ANGRY-ING...!!!anyway...i will show you the real S.T if got chance.so that you won't call out the wrong person again.haha...

ps: to Star aka Yong Sin...for your information...i did update my blog.and twice too eversince i comes back.of cause you would like me to come back faster...so that you won't have to leave me so many comments right?haha....well well..thanks for your comment lar...you are really a nice friend.and thanks for your concern towards SETALEO.we are forever in your debt.will pay you back nicely.thanks for taking care of baobei and vonny during the time when i was away.haha...i know you guys enjoyed it.!!add oil......