Giving up?

Final exams will officially start tommorow. And that means semester 1 is ending real soon!yippeeeeeeee...........this is the only happiest part of the whole process. I am feeling damn happy because...i can go home soon. HOME SWEET HOME.

and yet......to struggle for this whole week is not a nice thing to do so because........i am not well-prepared.NOW...back to my memories long ago....i hate to hear people saying" hey i am so damn scare because i didn't study at all!die lar..i don't know anything.or Oh my god...i fail for sure this time" AGAIN........i think of it as fiddlestick. Those who says that are definitely well-prepared and confident. Ishhhh...it really gets on my nerve to hear people say that. For in my opinion, those who dare to say that are definitely confident and comfirm they can score well if nothing goes wrong. Why can't they just be honest?aiks........it really does spoil my mood. For i can't stand people saying those thing infront of me then they score excellent results.Ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................and i don't think it is all due to lucks. for i don't believe in that.

back to me,..........i admit i did not make full use of the time i have. i didn't study much. and yet......i do not feel afraid.for me, i do not care whether i can get a High distinction or not as long as i do not fail in my subjects. That is enough for me. But the thing is...i am honest. if i did not study means i did not study. it is up to you whether you want to believe in it or not. fail or pass...is just another matter. if i fail..means all i have to do is just to re-take the subject and to work hard all over again. but there is another opinion or thinking occurs to me. won't it be a waste of time? won't it be a waste of money?

and i feel like giving up too. why don't i just choose not to study in the first place?i know it will break my parent's heart. But what is the use of studying if my aim is just to pass my subject? then i might as well choose the route of just give up all my sudies and be just a sweeper and a toilet cleaner? this is my DREAM....which i used to answer my friends whenever they asked me of my dream. i don't know...............i don't know....

i just feel so hopeless. it is really a stress to see other people catching up so fast whilst i have to struggle behind them. it makes me feel as if i am very stupid. but i can't blame anyone. it is my fault for being lazy........but aiks........speechless. no comment.....

all i can do now..is just to do final touch-up and pray hard before i enter the exam hall(place of life and death). i am a bit too exaggerting i guess. but nevermind...........there is still chances for me to ammend. i have such a long way to go........and i don't believe i am forever a failure. it doesn't matter how the other look at me...whether i am a successful person or a failure...as long as i follow my quote "i am who i am"..............

to baobei, vonny and so-called friend, Star aka Yong sin, and all the form 5 candidates, all the best for the coming SPM. finally, at last, you guys made it to this day. how was form 5 life?great?good? haha........i am sure you guys enjoyed damn lots. although exam is coming soon, but i guess you guys are well-prepared.don't do last minute work like me. good lucks and add oil..........you guys can do it........jia you jia you jia you...................