Happy day!!

This is one of the rare few times when she actually texted me to ask me out :) And we spend the whole day together driving here and there. 

We talked.
We shopped.
We laughed.
We fought.
That's what friends are for. But God will never give me friends who will be by my side all the time. They are either far away or only appear once in a while. Oh well, at least I learnt not to throw too much burdens on them.

I don't like my face. Not a bit like a girl's face :(

Men's logic

Can never understand men's logic. Why clarify when you know the answer is not going to make any differences? 

Why give chance when you know there is no chance? Isn't that more hurting than ever? I am trying to be strong all the way and it has been spoilt. Maybe I should have get out immediately. One thing I learnt, never share anything with anyone anymore. Keep it to myself and the one who created me!!! Yes. That's what I gonna do. No one cares anyway..

小太阳

I love to see children smiling and laughing. It wasn't a fulfilled day today and I don't feel good.  I just want to see my kids. Without thinking, I drove straight to Setia Tropika and spend a good 2 hours plus with them. 

Felt really really touched when Bernado repetitively kept hugging and kissing me. He held my hand really tightly and I could feel that he has a lot to say. Everyone said he is different when I am around. Perhaps no one really give him much attention. That's why he feels lonely. The rest of them are growing up well :)

不开心的时候只要想到他们，心情自然会变好。 感谢一路有你们带给我活下去的毅力，我的小太阳。

我手心的太阳， 黑暗里特别明亮 :)

dream catcher

Yayyy.. Finally I got it. Been wanting to get a tattoo of dream catcher for so long.

Beginning stage was done and now I only got to wait for it to heal so I can get the colours on. Can't wait to see how it is gonna be like XD EXCITED!!!
Go away nightmares!! I am gonna have lots of sweet dreams now.

what is this feeling?

I received a notification from WeChat yesterday morning. I thought it was some annoying person again but who knows I saw "Cherry Lee". So my aunt messaged me.

She saw my post and could tell that I am not going through a smooth time and that it is hard for me. Her message makes me tear. I told her I am walking aimlessly.

Just wanna be real and honest with my own feelings. 

hello stranger

Hello Stranger.. 

You seems to be moving on perfectly without me. Entering a new life of finding and getting to know someone new I suppose

But can you please stop and spare a thought for me. I am being hurt very badly here and I finds it hard to move on.

With love and thanks,
From Me

Strangers again?

Hello Stranger

Usually a sad ending :(


I wanna go travel..

Tarot

I know I know. I went for it again. Last year around May, I went and seek the cards and it says I will find someone that I love if only I am open and daring enough. And I did. 

This time round, I am officially being declared I am no longer the one and I am still holding on. The Tarot says he is not as mature as he thinks he is and he is not willing to accept the fact that he is like a kid and refused to change. Someday he will regret and realise this. Tarot asked me to calm my emotions down as it will affect my work, my circle and everything really badly.

Maybe somebody should just take me out for a holiday..

simple

Sometimes, even this simple act can be torturing. Why is it so hard to text someone? Trying to be hard hearted and cold? You have already gotten what you want. It doesn't hurt to spill a little bit of happiness into my life, you coward!!

Do I have a choice...

It is never easy to eliminate what you don't want to see or how you want to feel.  If I can never make you love me, then for Christ sake, just get out of my life and don't appear in front of me anymore.  It is not easy to face a cold hearted person when this is not the choice that I want. It may seems selfish but think of it in a way, you are the one who forced me to be in this situation. There could be a better way out, but unfortunately you choose this evil path. So be it!!

G.I.R.L

Don't know why is it so common for girls to be hurt. Maybe most girls are going through the same hurt as I am. Sigh..

That's right

Sometimes I worried and imagined too much and no one cares to clarify or give me the right attention that I am asking for. Instead it keeps me to think from another perspectives and dimensions until I broke down and ruin my own life.

True?

Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do, long after the mood you said it has already left you.

Social media and stupid phone apps are too tempting. So I don't believe he will keep his promises. Either way, I don't even know what he is doing behind my back.

Cuts

As my body touches the water last night, I squealed in pain. So, I actually cut myself everywhere without knowing in the swimming pool. How did I even injured myself also I don't know.

While trying to get the water out of my ear, I used a cotton bud to poke it and I ended up injuring my left ear. Now I felt funny and pain. Great! No swimming for me for at least a while…

错的人

随着年级越大，爸爸会特别的心疼和担心我，一直害怕我孤单，要我打电话叫男朋友来陪我。 这几个礼拜，他特地避开我的家人和我。一直找借口不要出来，说很忙，和朋友有约了之类的借口。听了只觉得很灰心很多余。

So in the end, he is just fooling around with me. I thought by staying friends, it will give him less stress and more time to work it out. But he don't even intend to do so. He just wants me to get over it so that he will get what he wanted - BEING FRIENDS. 

What a joke!! 

Overrated

Sometimes, finding the best is too overrated. Remember, you only live once!

气死人

被骂的心情很不好受
顾客野蛮，我早就该预料到的
进这个行业就会遇到很多不讲理的人
一直对自己说原谅她的无理就好，反正我和她说话的语气也很不好 （因为很烦感）
可是心里就是会觉得难过
被说不负责任真的很伤人
我自认自己没有很勤劳
可是做事方面， 我绝对没有不负责任！！
最多不接你电话罢了，因为毫无意义，而且只会让双方不愉快而已。

失败者

觉得自己做人很失败

一直想努力挽回一个对我没有“爱” 的男人

人家都已经划清界线了，我还那么固执干嘛 :( 

一生中只交过三个男友，但却谈了六场恋爱

单单和同一个人就谈了三场 （分分和和）

每一段都希望能够走到最后

可惜，选者放弃的永远不是我

我往往都是被别人放弃的哪一位
也许这是我的报应。 前两段对爱情不稳定的我，现在也得到相同的遭遇了。

真是失败！！
我恨这样的自己

不快乐

Emo-ing!有些人就是那么的过分。自己不爱了，也要勉强别人去接受这种残酷的事实。

只能恨，这样心就不会那么痛。。

我所拥有的

最好的都存在我的双手里

若你要，我都给你

若你看不到，就表示我的“好”， 你并不想要， 也不在乎！！

No more hugs
No more jio-ing
No more concerns
Guess he is really enjoying his freedom and to find someone new since social media is back on track again. Whilst I am still so stupid to hope that it will work out. Kudos!!

好朋友

好朋友不一定要天天都腻在一起

只要你出事时，那个会出现的就是朋友

Friendship?
It is a very tricky thingy.
Glad that I have some sincere friends, although we are not always together.

不顾别人感受的男人最没用
什么都只想到自己却不顾虑别人的感受
你可以无视我的努力，当作没看见
但你的借口令我很烦
爱一个人不需要理由
只希望你也刚好喜欢我

Is it possible?

此刻的心情，可能吗？
你会不会有那么一丝丝的想念我？
应该不可能吧！因为你现在看起来是多么的自由，什么也不需要顾虑我的感受了。。。
反而我还站在原地不动。深怕如果有一天， 你回过头时找不到我。

Holiday

My new year holiday is almost over :( Sigh.. Don't really feel like going back to work. Going back to a place where no one will ever back me up is really discouraging and feeling really unwanted :( 

Feeling really lazy and I need a life!!!
I wanna go to beaches and relax!!!!
Wanna watch a lot of movies and just sleep in..