Not around :)

I was browsing through You Tube earlier on and I feel like listening to music covers made by Kelvin :) He is really talented and I love all his songs. 

They music rhythm of "Not Around" might sounds cheery and bubbly but when you take a good look at the lyrics, it is heart wrenching. Take a look at the lyrics and you'll know why. It came straight from him and he even made the music :)

NOT AROUND LYRICS

I try but I just can't
I remember the first time
I saw your face into your eyes
There's something
About the way you look

As time passed
I'm missing you
Said the love we shared is real
Fall to my knees make it right again
I'll do everything to be with you

Cus Baby
Now you can't get out
When Baby
Now she's not around

You took my heart and you played along
You wanted more so I gave all
My heart is cruising on an empty
I know I'm lost in time

Maybe love's never there
Maybe it's foolish to know
Girl I've been waiting long
For another chance
For another day
To make it brand new from the start

Cus Baby
Girl you know what it's all about
You've fallen into a million pieces
And now you can't get out
When Baby
Every time you tear my heart out
The girl I used to know my love
But now she's not around

I love this music cover because I was involve in it too... together with both Raphy and Kelvin. For the first time I realized being a media student is not easy. It took lots of effort and courage to be a media person. Looking at how we forced Kelvin to pluck up his courage and to roam around Orchard central has taught me - "If you want to achieve something, first, turn your attention to God and you will definitely succeed!" I don't have to try to be successful, but with God around, I AM ALREADY SUCCESSFUL :)  

You are for me

Late night = late thoughts. I know it is unfair to Father Lord because nasty emotions never fail to cause me to spend less time in prayers. It is funny though, because in times like this, I should be confessing all my burdens to Him. 

My beloved aunts who has been with me since I was a baby :) Thanks for watching me grow and loving me whole-heartedly. At times, I just wish I were a kid so that I can tag along with the adults all the time without having to think of anything.

I am helpless Lord. I am weak Lord. This feeling is just killing me. Lord, if this is really what You intend and want, please guide me. I can't do it on my own. Really I can't!! Yet, at this moment, there is always a song to rescue me. All thanks to "You are for me" by Kari Jobe.

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses
I know that you have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

Sometimes I just had to remind myself that "God, You are for me". No matter how down and how torn I am, You will never forsake me in my weaknesses. Father, I am not giving up because I trust in You :)

.....

Dearest God,

You know me from the inside out. Surely You can spot that feeling of insecure deep down inside. Please assure me that everything is gonna be alright. This is Your work and I have no power to change my destiny. You either just take it away or leave it alone. I know my heart couldn't withstand it for long. I just feel soooooo insecure and evil inside. And I don't intend to hide it. Save me O'Lord and revive me from this storm. I can't stand feeling like this anymore....

Sincerely,
Me

Late thoughts

I am old again!!One year older and yet, I don't think I am mature enough yet. I dislike the feeling of insecure though I am trying my best to subdue it. I won't let it to affect my making of "Tomorrow".

Blessed to have everyone around me :) I really have so much to update. Guess I got to start making plans now. Don't want to forget every single bits of memories in my life. Dee has been really sweet to write me a Birthday post XD I love you Dee and I want you to know that I am missing each and every single one of you daily.

Praying for a greater day tomorrow :)

Ding dong....

My life seems to have lose all its passion :( This trimester is gonna be a tough one. But I am not going to be the first to admit defeat. If anyone has to lose, it will be the devil himself :P Father Lord, please ensure that my journey will be a smooth one. Please please and please...

Kelnice and myself :) She is forever complaining that we stay so near and yet, wanting to see even my shadow is hard, let alone meeting me face to face. Actually she is exaggerating, I am always so near yet so far :P (PS: I know she won't be reading this, so I am free to write whatever I like *winks* )

Father Lord, You know my desires and needs. Provide them all if I ever missed out any of them. You know I can be slightly forgetful in prayers :) Bless us all......I love you Lord...

Random thoughts - Waiting

Fell asleep last night without knowing. Oh gosh, since when I can start having the intention to NOT sleep with my laptop in front of me? As usual, I was quite tired this morning but it is all worthy. God is good!! You answered my prayer before my aunty went in for her exam :) She passed!! Hurray!

Nicole and I at Pastamania on the first day of school :) That's before all those unhappy encounters took place :P Anyway, while sitting in school waiting for Melissa, I had this random thought. W.A.I.T.I.N.G!

I really dislike waiting unless it is for a very good reason. Anything can happen while you wait. The result might not be what you want or it might become worse. It is long and enduring (Which constantly reminds me of the flooding phrase Nicole made) I guess for me, I dislike waiting because I'll feel insecure. Patience? Maybe it covers a small percentage of it. But compare to being impatient, I dislike the feeling of insecure more. My definition of "Waiting" could be of anything. For instance, waiting for results, waiting for someone, waiting for an answer, or waiting for anything... and etc. I mean, I can't predict the outcomes. And I am born with this genetic of having no confident in whatever I am waiting for. The mixtures of various emotions like worry, insecure, anxious, anxiety, fears, and unexpectedly, the gentleness to show concern all wraps around me and I can hardly breathe (True story) Therefore, I seriously have no idea how on Earth could anyone waited for years for the same thing? How did they even do that? Hmm....

So what now? I don't want to wait anymore T.T!! Thousands of apologies if I seems to sound harsh... but waiting could be painful and tiring.

PS: I am not indicating anyone. It is just one of my random thoughts. I am happily waiting for Mel right now because I am early :)

Headache

I was having a massive headache ever since my first campaign management's lecture. It lasted for quite a while until just now. I AM OFFICIALLY FREE FROM  HEADACHE. Praise the Lord :)

For some reasons, I felt that this semester is not gonna be easy :( What does it mean? It simply means I can't take things lightly anymore. It is a do or die module. Oh my goshhhh... There are lots of funny, weird and stupid things going on too which altogether contributes to this so-not-looking-forward trimester of mine.

I have lots of stuffs to update...but as usual, let me divide them by various posts :) Stay tuned..