Awkward? Chuck it away...

Hey World, i've been neglecting my blog for a few days. Wouldn't have even think of coming here if i never so happened to come across Ryan's personal blog :) He really brightened up my day with his dancing skill :) Anyway, life has been good for me.  Even though i can still feel the pain but i know i have a God who heals.....

Ever been into an awkward situation before? I am sure most people experience it before. For me, it is like, i really and truly don't like it when i actually do know that person but then we just can't communicate. What on earth is this? It disgust me even more when i actually don't even dare to look directly into that person's eyes nor to pluck up my courage to talk to him or her. It is just plain annoying. I mean i didn't do something as crazy as what i did to that special person..so why should i feel awkward?  Oh please...chuck that feeling away!! I don't feel like myself...

PS: No matter how long, and no matter how hard i try to forget, there is still a solid memory of you which lies somewhere deep down my heart. Don't get me wrong. I've already move on..... it is just that, this is something which will happen when you truly gave your heart away.

Got tricked into watching "Paranormal Activity 3". I don't like. Like really really don't like. I dislike anything to do with horror and blood and disgusting and scary stuffs :( I need to build up my courage.... but my heart is weak....

Numbed

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?" - Airplanes


I really love this particular sentence above :) I know i used the lyric 2 posts back but still, i find that it really corresponds with my feeling for today.

Sometimes the thing that you yearned for or wanted doesn't mean it is the best for you. You may try as hard as you want to, but if it is not meant to be yours, it will NEVER be. So what am i doing? WAKE UP please! I really don't want to waste my time on something which seems hopeless. It is oblivious and clear that the treatments are just so different. I don't want to face the same thing TWICE.

I never been this hurt. Nope, not even when he chose to be silent as a way of rejecting. Really....It is like i can feel sharp knives piercing through my heart. So this is the real feeling of "heartache". If it is so, i really dislike the feeling. And i don't wanna experience it again. Your words are powerful enough to make me ponder over it for long. I don't know what's wrong with me. It is just like a sudden sharp pain. Oh well, all i can say is, this whole experience tells me that i am not a cold-blooded and hard-hearted person, because the pain is extreme.

PS: A lot of people thought i am a hard-hearted person. So, they would rather not offend me. But you'll never know, sometimes, that is just a cover-up version of me. Yes, to cover all weaknesses and the lack of confidence within myself. I am after all, still a human with emotions. I am weak at times too...

Sorry if i sounded emo. I just can't bear that feeling. It is painful. From now i just want to make myself STRONGER :) If someone has to affect me with words, let that person be GOD. I would rather turn my attention on Him. It doesn't matter if my heart ache for God or that i am being affected by His word. At least i know that He would never leave me or forsake me.....

Blessed 22nd Dearest Dee..

Blessed 22nd Dearest Dee. You are such a blessing in my life. You came to me when i was just alone in Perth :) I really miss you heaps. 

Too bad i wasn't there to celebrate with you... still, there are lots of things which i wanna say to you. You are a strong leader Dee, and you are a prayer warrior girl. Continue to keep the faith and continue to strive more for Him. You have already glorify Him in various ways (dancing, serving and etc). Continue to help the zone to grow.... 

I shall not describe so much about you because all that i have to say has already been written in one of my long ago post :) Dee, you are a beautiful and strong girl from the inside out. Never let emotions bring you down. I am really glad that you have found Ju in your life. Life has been so much brighter for you :)

I will always remember the good times that we had during my journey in Perth. Our happy moments, our weakest moments, through all prayers and fast. Thank You Dee for teaching me how to stand firm and to surrender everything to God. Despite all the downs, i am really thankful that you exist

 in my life :) I really enjoyed my moments with you girls. Though we are far apart, but i know our purpose will be the same. 

I just wanna wish you a very happy birthday and May God's joy and blessings be with you. I know the zone/cell will definitely create something spectacular for you. Do update me :) Love you Dee....

Just one wish

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now..... "

I have never seen a shooting star before in my whole life even though i would give up anything just to see it once with my bare eyes. Somehow, i wonder, why would i long to see a shooting star? Once upon a time, i used to believe that shooting stars will be able to make my wish come true. When i was young, i would always stare into the night sky, waiting for something to sweep past..but it never happens. For a girl who has never seen a shooting star before, i tend to talk to the stars above, hoping and wishing that it will make my dream comes true :) Yes, i did all these once upon a time.

Now, a realization falls over me. Can a shooting star fulfill my dreams? I learnt the truth that shooting star is one of God's creation. And it can never help to fulfill my wish. I believe my God can does it better.  Humans are complicated. We tend to do crazy stuffs. Still, this is my childhood dream. I will still be happy if i could get to see one.

I don't know what makes me write this post. I do think that the lyric is cool :) I am off to look at the starry sky :) Good night...

Angry Birds..

Hello World, look at my title above :) I guess this is the first time i ever write anything about Angry Birds after getting all crazy over them for quite a while. To be honest, i have absolutely NO IDEA what is it all about? I know they are famous and that's it!! Gradually, i don't know what motivates me to buy their key chains and stuffs. I am such a bad influence because Barry got addicted to Angry Birds too :P And it is ALL BECAUSE OF ME...

This was taken a few months back. I have no idea why i have to draw all these for Barry or rather, why did i agree to help him to draw in the first place? Maybe i was just trying to keep him quiet? Oh well, nonetheless, what's drawn is drawn *big grins*

PS: Philippians 4:13 kepts on ringing in my head. It is everywhere....through videos, through blogs and basically everywhere. Yes, i know i can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Even right now....

Okay peeps, just a short update this time to ensure that my blog is alive. I wanna upload pictures of our The First 17th meeting and also our chill out night. My BlackBerry is not being friendly :( Fine, i am gonna ditch you soon :P

Good night World..

I want excitements!!

Herrowz World,  back again to update. Today, i really want to thank God for all that He has done for me   :) I wasn't well-prepared for my presentation which worth 10%. All in all, everything went well. This hits me. I am always very good at encouraging people with Matthew 6:34. Yet, when it comes to me, i will have to force myself to practice it. I am not saying that i am always 100% worrying about stuffs, but i don't even want that 5% of worrying. God is really good to me today :) 

Saw this quote which i feel it is really true. "I can't brag about my love for God because i fail Him daily. But i can brag about His love for me because it never fails " 


So true isn't it? We started to complain about our physical tiredness whenever we were being asked to serve more than we are suppose to. We always claim that we are sacrificing a lot for God. When we are successful, we won't even bother to thank God for it. When we fail, we put all blames on God. If we were to do our own soul-searching, ask yourself, do you really love God? Or do we love God with conditions?  I just want to confess that i fail him everyday :( But God did not give up on me. He is helping me to go through everyday with His strength. I really want to know this God more because i know HE IS FOR ME :)

Soul Searching

Lord, You are truly the God of righteousness. You are the hater of sins. Whenever i done something wrong, or rather something not right, i will always have this kinda uncomfortable and guilty feeling. All i wanna say is, i am not a perfect person but i am trying to be. Please guide me and show me the path to righteousness. Remind me when i am doing something wrong. Sometimes i might not even know it. I don't even know if i am doing the right thing or not, but i do feel very uncomfortable about it. It is not a nice feeling. I am sorry Lord, for all that i've done which is not pleasing to You. I am trying my best to be a better person. Please be in the center of all that is happening right now.... Show us your way... Do not let us use our strength to solve all problems. I am giving You all that i am facing right now.

I just feel that i got to type all these. I don't know why...but i just feel like it... i am sorry Lord...