....

It's been awhile...
I lost the password to my blog and I was so afraid that I might not be able to blog here again. Come to think of it.
Things are rough but I hope it is for the better.
Memories sometimes still haunt and of course I am not feeling good about it.
Yet I know things are never the same anymore.
Out flew many secrets out of nowhere and one thing I know is that, there were never honesty between us. Well, so long he is happy...

On the side note, Christ died and rose again. I been trying to find that connection back again with Him. I know He will never forsake me in my weaknesses.

Thank you Jesus.

心里很不好受。。。
可是，应该是时候说再见了
再也不能捆绑着你了
也不能依赖你了
你也想飞很久了
这一次。。我放手吧。。
我们会变成最收悉的陌生人

我们的不欢而散。。。。这样也许是最好的。。。
祝福你过得比我好一点。。。
还有。。。对不起。。

NO one understands me!!
Everybody going against me.
Even you..

No title. Just my thoughts..

Wow... I have actually given up blogging when I see that I will definitely not achieve my goal of 200 posts for 2014. Wanted to delete this blog as well but seeing that it has accompanied me for 8 years, and for memories' sake, I shall keep this blog for the old days to come.

2014 has been a challenging year for me (for career, relationships, family, faith and life). There are many life lessons to learn in every aspects of doubts, insecurities, perspectives, attitudes and etc. To say I totally move on, that's a lie. And to say I don't give a shit, that's a lie too. I guess Facebook is something that I really have to stay away from. Seeing the number of new girls added by him is not something that I can fully accept. I think I shall either slowly exclude myself from the gang or remove him off my list. In both ways, we could move on better.

Anyway, joining ECOWORLD is one of the biggest decision I have made in year 2014. From so many outstanding offer which slowed down my decision making, out of nowhere, Eco World appears. God must have been thinking about me. Although I don't really have a life currently but I am satisfied with the potential of career advancement for me. May God grant me wisdom on how to juggle between ministries and work. For the highlight since I joined Eco World, I get to see Lee Hom in real life. Thank you Eco World for the brand new experience and surprises. Whether or not I will be working here for long, I really don't have a clue. I am not even halfway through my probation period. Yet, whether or not I will be confirmed, it is not up to Eco World but GOD!

PS: You know what, I think I'll start blogging again :)

2015

Hello 2015!
Breakthroughs??
Be a better me...

Short getaway

Even thought it was a short trip, but I enjoyed traveling. Hope to be able to fly to more places in the coming future :)

车祸

好久没来更新了。 上个礼拜， 我出了车祸并且失去了我的宝贝车。 感谢上帝，我只是受了轻伤， 人却还好好的。除了家人以外，我目睹了谁才是真正关心我的朋友 :) 很庆幸有他们的陪伴，让我在修养的一个星期内不感到寂寞。

和死神较量后，才知道生命真的很宝贵。 如果我就这样离开了， 我想我会很遗憾，因为还有太多太多的事情没做。

Not going well at all

I can only say, after so long, you don't really know me at all. What do you mean by lack of ethics and lack of humanity? Just because your circle is like that, it doesn't mean every single person have to react the same way.

Sometimes, when I comment about other people, it is purely just venting out frustrations and sharing thoughts. Nothing about me being better than them or so. If you think this is bad enough, then don't bother asking me to share how I feel. I never thought I am better than anyone. '

Besides that, I have the right to choose to not be expressive. If nobody can accept me for who I am, then why should I accept people for who they are? What do you mean by "Don't be the girl that people hate" ? No matter how likable I am, there are still people who don't like me for a reason. So there you go...I can't please everyone and don't wish to leave under people's shoe.

.................

My MacBook finally died.

Sigh, having to spend unnecessary money. Money in my account is decreasing each day. Mission Faith Pledge and sponsored child fare are my commitments.

Hopefully things will be fine :( Aiks. Having lots of mixed feelings. Can't seems to be happy.

Lunch time come, and it is odd to not have someone to eat with me. Should start getting used to this kinda life for the time being. Way to go... 

Time Machine

Looking at my evil self through the mirror, I just can't bear the sight of it.

What has gone wrong with me? I done all the things which I am so afraid that the other person will do.

Feelings are hard to express. To say I don't feel anything, that's a lie. To say I don't miss those times, that's a lie too. To say I am not grateful, that's a lie too.

Recalling back to the past, I was the one who fought so hard for this. If I could turn the time back, perhaps things would be better.

The same scenario has taken place again. Just that this time, I don't have to right to beg for a second chance. I am sorry..

Dreams

Roundabout dreams :) 

Reunited again

It took us 2 years to reunited as a team again. JB SHE rawkz!!Always missing these girls :)

Busy...

Work is getting tedious and packed. Tiring but I kinda like it.. better than I have nothing else to do. Will be spending the week in KL and hopefully through Archidex, I get to enhance my learning curve.

My little daughter has turned 3. Happy birthday Rachel!! May you grow up well :) She is ever so cute. Too bad I couldn't be there to sing birthday song but the cake was yummy. Love themes' party!! For my next birthday, I want a fairytale theme!!!1

Lost
Unsure
Insecure
Complicated
Crazy

This is how I felt. Nothing much to explain about myself anyway. Yes, call me selfish. I am used to having no one to understand.

My little boyfriend

So, this day has finally arrive. The Seaward's family is transitioning back to Singapore for greater calling. 

I am gonna miss my little boyfriend like crazy. He has always been a fun and happy boy to hang out with. To watch him grow from a baby to a 2 year old big sized toddler, man.. time really flies. We always have our own special hang out moments. Even by just listening to him introducing all his Sesame Street friends, it is good enough. Saturday is gonna be so quiet without him now :( Missing my little friend and may he grows into a fine little boy :)

Love him so..

Rocking the 20s away

Well, I don't like birthdays. Especially when I nearing the mid 20s. So this year, I decided to do something different. Instead of allowing Facebook to remind people of my insignificant birthdate, it is time to see who are the people that values me :) 

PS: I am not disappointed at all. Thanks for all the private wishes, messages, whatsapp and even face to face wishing. Oh and thanks to that that FIRST person who posted on my wall and started the trend where people saw it and it clicks through their minds. It surprised me as that person and I are not close at all and we don't talk at all since 4 years ago when I was still in Perth.

Thankful to be part of this awesome family in Christ that has been a blessing to me. My day was simple and yet meaningful. Thanks to those who put in a lot of effort to made my day. And also my family and   neighbours who has been the greatest support to me. I feel the love and I know I am blessed :)

Recently..

Life is really like a "Yo-Yo" trend. It goes up and down without even giving you any warning signals ahead of time. 

PS: The picture above showed how we celebrated Jhanny boy's birthday. Nothing related to this post and just wanna include a picture just so my post won't turns out to be wordy and lengthy.

Life is stress and sometimes, too much happenings can make me doubt my faith. My dearest Heavenly Father, I think You sort of think too highly of me and expect me to go through all these. Again, I really doubt that my heart and my body can endure all these. It is a little bit too much for me. Would you just tell me what to do?

...

Recently, I am so lazy to even come to this little space of mine, let alone having a great story to tell. Forget about that alright? 

Guys will always be guys. Okay, this is very general statement. I am not indicating anyone or whosoever. All the promises always go down into drain. Making promise like "I will stay away from social network" but in the end still came crawling back to it has just proven that there is not much determination. So yea,  forget about that! They just don't understand! Just a thought..

Like how I ponder over James Cameron biggest masterpiece "Avatar". Is it possible for two persons who are from different World to stay together? After watching Atlantis, my answer still stay firm to "yes". One of them just has to abandon his or her World and join the other one.

Simple blessing

While roaming around City Square today, I thought it would be nice if I could just develop some pictures at the same time so that I don't have to rush tonight. So yea, it has been too long since I last develop any pictures using that so-called advance photo machine. I was at some end steps when this Malay lady came to me and helped me. The price for one picture is RM2 and I had 7 in total. She took me to the counter and helped me to cut all the pictures. I was going to pay her RM14 when she returned the remaining RM4 to me. I was puzzled and was gonna hand her the RM4 when she just shook her head, smile and said "Never mind..it's okay!" I beamed at her and repeatedly thanked her non-stop.

So you see, simple kindness really touches me despite my day was such a mess and unorganised :) It only takes one small action to make a person's day. Do it!!!

The road not taken

Even though it is a public holiday but still some things really can make me go crazy and mad. Saw a series of "Dream catcher" at KSL earlier this morning. As much as I really like the designs of it, but I think I shouldn't stumble the other kids with this kinda thingy. So yea.. next time perhaps? 

Bought that little tiny Elmo keychain for Ethan but it is so adorable that I just had to keep it for myself. Ended up buying him the bigger version…it is still adorable anyway!

No matter how far I run, which road I took, in the end, the road will always lead me back to the same point. Just like how I wanna run away from God, from all the problems, from all the people, but in the end, I still have to face the music. This is life!